Good Riddance.

Break Ups are a nuisance. It fucks up your everyday tasks; you can't think straight; you say I don't care to almost everything; your smile lost in twilight zone. But still you move on and go on with it till the day ends and a brand new day starts. It's not that bad when you have friends who support you and keep you sane even though they are insane themselves. They show you that it ain't so bad to live normally though you're having a shitty day, week or month.

But this break up was a good riddance. It was good because I realized who I'm supposed to be with in the first place; who I'm supposed to be sharing happy times, hardships and responsibilities for the future; and who can love me more than his own if ever that's going to be possible. I found that person who is too good to be true even before and now he still is. And I deserve someone who's like that, willing to love, care and understand me till the end.

So my favorite caption/shoutout goes like this:

"Back to being single but my heart is already unavailable."

A Not So Happy New Year To Me

Life indeed is full of surprises, some are good and some are bad, and yet life goes on no matter what happens and we continue to live it as it is, as we want it to be. I realized that there are things in life that we have no control over no matter how careful we are. I've learned that you can never get over a person fully till you yourself understood the meaning of 'over'. Trusting too much can only lead to hurt and hurt can lead to more hurt and can leave a scar forever.

So take care of the ones you love, make sure that you are sure which one you love and give that love solely to that one person. Its not just trust and honesty that rule relationships, it's also a matter of giving the one you love the love she/he deserves. You cannot only say 'i love you' like it's a music playing over and over the radio. You also have to mean it thru actions, dedication and maturity.

Going outside the boundaries is a risky business. Once your out, its hard to get back and you may probably never go back.

*** Moieee is currently in her small little world, full of hatred and anger. But I promise you she'll be back soon. ***

Sparks.

I haven't had enough sleep because I was so excited to go home already and I also have an exam today. I arrived back to NAIA from California around 6am, met up with a family friend, Charles, just outside the airport kasi nagpabili cya sa akin ng laptop so kinuha nya lang kaagad kasi excited na rin cya sa laptop nya. After that, I called Just but he didn't pick up my call as usual and before I got back here pa naman malabo na kaming dalawa so I really don't fuckin care anymore.

So anyway, I got inside the boarding area and waited kasi 9:20 am pa boarding ko. So as I glanced at my cellphone again to check out the date, I suddenly remembered something and sent shivers up my spine. It was the 8th na nga pla, I said to myself. Naalala ko na naman cya. Eversince he told me he was going home dito sa Pinas from Dubai this January, tapos hanggang sa may ticket na cya and everything at nagchat kami ng saglit at sinabi nyang Jan 7 ang flight nya, maski pilit ko mang e-deny na excited ako, ngayon eh hindi ko na matago. Napaisip tuloy ako, "Tatawagan kaya nya ako? Magpaparamdam kaya cya sa akin?" Alam kong malaki ang tampo ng lalakeng to sa akin pero ewan ko ba, bakit ganito na lamang ako ka excited nung naalala kong kahapon pala cya dumating.

Hanggang sa nakarating ako ng bahay, at nagbihis at pumunta kaagad ng school, I can't seem to get him off my mind. Lagi kong chinicheck ang cell ko kasi baka tumawag cya at ma-miss ko ang call nya. Hindi nagtagal napansin to ng matalik kong kaibigang si Nes at sabi nya, "Gurl.. Ok ka lang? It seems to me you're waiting for a call or something." She knows me too well na nga talaga. So I smiled and told her, "Sounds crazy but I'm waiting for him to contact me." At hindi na nya kailangan magtanong pa, alam na kaagad nya kung sinong tao ang tinutukoy ko kasi eversince then, boto cya sa taong to para sa akin.

"Oh si Peter nandito na? Kelan lang dumating? Uyyy yuddii... Bakit mo hinihintay tawag o text nya?" at sabay tawa. Napasmile na lang ako. Onga naman, bakit ko nga naman ba hinihintay eh baka ayaw rin naman nya akong makausap. After my last class, I checked my cell again, this time, meron ng missed call! I checked the number pero its not familiar to me so I smiled and said to myself, I knew it. Hindi na kailangan pang elaborate, I already have a gut feeling na cya na yung tumawag. Hinayaan ko lang, baka tatawag o magtetext uli. When we're on our way home, of course with my usual companion buddies Nes and Ice, asa jeep kami when my cell rang. Dali2 kong kinuha and it was that same number na nagpamiss call kanina.

The moment I answered the call, the rest became history. IT WAS HIM.

I reluctantly invited him to reunion meeting going to be held that night at Coffeebreak thinking he might probably not go. Pero later nung asa meeting na kami, and the program committee were all there, he texted that he'll be arriving in 10 minutes. I was like... Oh no! Oh no as in makikita ko na cya after so many years. THE FIRST GUY WHO EVER PROPOSED TO ME. Nagpapanic na ako, not because ayaw ko cyang makita but because gusto ko talaga cyang makita pero hindi ko lang alam kung anong gagawin ko kung makita ko na cya. So when he called again he told me he was already outside but then he was shy to come inside. I told him our classmates were eager to see and meet him again coz they too were curious.

When he got inside all eyes were on him. Except for me. I looked at him and then looked away. This the guy who proposed to me, now within reach; now in my face. The next hour or so, I can't seem to concentrate in the meeting because I sooo aware he was thinking and feeling the same thing I do, awkwardness but he was rather smooth and even joined in on the planning and stuff. After the meeting, there was an awkward silence as I glance at him and told him if he can join me for dinner kasi gutom na gutom na ako. He held the door open for me as we ride his car and we drove around for a good 15minutes or so before I told him the place where we can eat, Imays. It's the only place I can think of at that time. The feeling I felt was soo different and good. We talked and talked, he joked around mostly and I laugh and then talked some more. It was surely one of the top dates I've had. hehe.

After that he asked if we can have a drink or two and talk some more. So we went to Regatta and have a bottle or two and more beer and talked some more until it went to more serious stuff as the booze drowned our thoughts already and the feelings we both have for each other were surfacing out in the open. He can't help but tell me again how he feels for me until now, and it gave butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it till now. It was a great talk. One for the books I should say. He is still patiently waiting and will be waiting till I dunno when. There I felt he really do love me! More than I'll ever know.

He is too good to be true. I didn't want the night to end. It felt good. It's good to talk to him when you're just being yourself and still he accepts you because of you.

*Sparks are flying everywhere. I felt something, and more.*

Oh just got bored.

I had fun yesterday. I went to Big Bear Mtns with my closest friends Uding and Jeng. They went snowboarding but I didn't because I don't feel like it hehe, nah it's because I took the time to study for my exams when I get back to the P.I. The cold breezy weather was a pretty feeling to feel, it was like I was one with the wind. That's why I want to live in somewhere cold when I get settled in soon. Somewhere Massachusetts or something, hehe jowk. Wherever is fine actually. But anyway, yeah it was the first time I enjoyed so much since I got back here. Nothing to worry about.

Right now, I'm typing this using my buddy Gilbert's laptop in San Diego, people here in my cousin's bride to be place is sooo busy right now, attending stuffs for tomorrow's wedding. Yeah, the wedding will be here in San Diego btw. The kids and the kids my age are playing Wii Guitar Hero III which is "the hype" video game here in US right now, like it's sooo sold out here in the whole of US probably I don't know, but it's really cool, the game is pretty addictive, it's like a Dance Revolution thing but only you use a guitar rather than your feet. hehehe! Just google it to find out more about it.

Uhhmm I guess I have to cut this short, low battery already and Gilbert is going to kill me if his laptop hibernates again, he hates it. hahaha whatever! Well, see you on the 8th! And oh, extend me a GOODLUCK by the way coz I'll be singing on the wedding reception tomorrow! hahaha. Expect a rainy weather! waaahhh.

Well guys, ciao! mwaaahhhh!

Poor Guy!

Wanna read something hilarious happened to me the other day when I dropped my siblings and a friend to Disneyland? This ticket guy, one who sells and gives parking tickets, tried to hit on me. It was apparently obvious because my siblings and their friend laughed! Anyway, so I asked the guy if I can just drop the kids off without paying for parking right, and then he said yeah you may. As soon as he gave me the temporary drop off ticket he said, "Your car smells good, what freshener did you put on? " and I was like at the back of my head "What the heck?" And the kids were giggling already behind my back, so as to break the awkwardness I replied, "Haha, funny you said that coz there isn't any car air freshener, probably you smelt my brother's perfume!" And he got embarrassed man not only to us but it was also overheard by his fellow ticketer on the other side who turned away from him and hid a smile! As we drove away from the ticket booth area we all laughed our butts off, and my sis said, "Good one!"

Men these days, are so lame towards choosing a good pick up line. Hilarious. Haha!