Staying Strong on Tough times

I watched the personal one-on-one interview of Miss Kc Concepcion on the Buzz yesterday and I commend her for being strong enough to face the truth once and for all. I can totally relate because I too, have been in that situation wherein I have given my all, taking time to understand things even if it was hard enough already, and for always giving the benefit of the doubt to every single thing.

Masyado akong nagbigay ng benefit of the doubt sa lahat.

Hindi ako ang kailangan nya. Hindi ako ang hinahanap nya.

Those above sentences were what Kc said on the interview that struck me the most. After watching the interview, I remembered my ex again and it still hurts to think about the relationship that we had. I haven't even told everybody at home that we are not together anymore but I think even if I don't say anything they would have noticed it if they are very observant. I don't want to love someone to whom I have to exert my own efforts just to make our relationship work, and I don't want to love someone to the extent of giving him everything but receiving little in return.

Sometimes, it is easier to just say I have fallen out of love, and found someone new to avoid any more questions but that is not the case here. God knows how I love him very much. That I am willing to do everything for the both of us. And I know he knows I love him BUT I just cannot tolerate being in a relationship with him anymore because of reasons I don't want to say to protect his dignity. I have given him chances beyond imaginable but he still blew it. And for what I learned from countless break-ups, is that I have to leave some love for myself. I cannot force someone to love me the way I want him to if he, himself, doesn't want to love and sacrifice little things for me.

Living Without You

I keep looking in all the places,
Where you are supposed to be.
But I never seem to find you,
And you're all I long to see.

I just can't seem to understand,
What it was that changed your mind.
All this time I thought I knew you,
When really, I was blind.

But know that I do not hate you,
And I know I never will.
Because I cared about you then,
And I cared about you still.

Even though you hurt me,
I can't seem to let you go.
But I will go on without you,
And I want to make sure you know.

It will take some time to mend,
The damage that you've done.
But broken hearts do heal,
That's where strength comes from.

For now, the tears may be falling,
And my thoughts keep circling to you.
But soon, things will get better,
If you have hope, then they always do.

*I dedicate this to FRIENDS who had their hearts broken once or too many in life; to FRIENDS who had broken countless hearts in this lifetime; and to FRIENDS who had overcome heartbreaks that led them to have a blissful journey of love now.*

my new addiction ♥

It's easier to just say you have moved on with someone else even if it's just a lie, than explain to people why it didn't work.

GRRR!

Why Do I Love Him?

Why do I love him?
Tough question.
I don’t even know how or where to begin;
I’m not sure if I could possibly find the right words to express
What or how much I feel for him.
Let alone explain why I love him.

Why do I love him? I guess I just do.
I love him because He is the most incredible, the most amazing guy I have ever known in my entire life
I love him because he’s sweet, he’s smart and witty, and has a great sense of humor.
I love him because he’s so cool...it makes him hot!
I love him because he makes me smile.

I love him because he’s the only guy who has ever made it through my wall and seen right through my mask.
I love him because he accepts the real me...imperfections and all but still appreciates me for who I am.

I love him for being a friend.
I love him because I could be whatever, whoever I want to be in front of him.
I love him because we could talk about everything under the sun
I love him because we are comfortable with each other and I feel safe when I am with him
I love him for giving me a helping hand when I had to pick myself up, but couldn’t;
I love him for offering his shoulder for me to lean on to when I had to be strong, but wasn’t
I love him for always making me feel better…about myself, about life in general
I love him for making me feel special.
But most of all, I love him for making me realize that I am capable of feeling this way and this much for someone.
I love him for making me feel alive.

So why do I love him?
I love him because he’s all these and more.
So much more.
I love him because he’s everything…
Everything but mine.

xoxo

Folio

My rush pro bono project portfolio for a car company ad :)

Now it's time to sleep coz it's way past midnight and I have lots more to do in the morning. Lights out! zzzzZZZ

Disneyland Confirmed!

Just got the reservation confirmation from Walt Disney Travel Co, and so finally I get to go with my family to Disneyland after 6 years!!! I can't wait to enjoy the magical world where everyone is a kid again. It's a 2-day park hopper too so I get to go to California Adventure at the same time as well. Oh wow, I'm excited but don't tell my siblings! sssshhHHH! hahah! At least I have something to look forward to for this week. It has been a rough start for the month of November so I hope to be cheered up by Mickey and friends this weekend. :)

God understands our prayers even when we can't find the words to say them.

Daylight Saving Time

Yes!!! Extra hour of sleep, as if! lol! Don't forget Daylight Saving Time ends at 2am so set clocks an hour back before you sleep tonight.

I worked so hard and yet somehow, I still lost it all.

Starting from scratch again.

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged here. If you are following me on twitter you must guessed why. Whew sorry about that! I am just not in a blogging mode right now because of everything sad and bad going on in my life. I wish to vanish but I know its not going to do me any good anyway. So I am starting over again and hoping by this time, I can already get the hang of things. I can only hope that God will give me the courage and strength to withstand this endeavor one more time. I will not give up because I wasn’t born a quitter. SO WISH ME LUCK! :)

I just wish someone would be man enough to stay in my life, not just in my heart.

Wedding news.

I received a lot of wedding news this week. Those getting married next year like my cousin Irene and my friend Gilbert here in Cali and and another recently updated on the wedding buzz, is my good friend Joseph and his fiance in Cebu. Oh and for some reason both couples mentioned decided on JULY 2012. There's also a sad news from a good friend of mine in Singapore who cancelled her wedding for February 2012 because her fiance broke up with her. tsk.tsk. tsk. freakin' bastard! Although she said that it was mostly her fault, still I hated the guy for breaking my friend's heart like that. I really don't like the idea of committing and then afterwards if your at the tip of a new chapter everything falls apart. And that is probably why I am single. LOL. It's not that I am scared to commit. I'm just scared of committing to a wrong person again. Just guarding my patched-up heart that's all. Well to the my friends who are busy preparing for their weddings next year, Best of luck to all and Congratulations in advance! And thanks for making me a bridesmaid hehe! Love it.