ANg BuHay SiNgLe by McG

Bakit ba tuwing may “get2geder” ang mga tao, mapa-family reunion man or simpleng gimik barkada, ang unang tanong sayo ay “May boyfriend/girlfrend ka na ba?” at bago ka pa maka-sagot ay maririnig mo naman ang “Bakeet walaaaaaa??!” Hayyy, kelangan ba talagang may bitbit kang boylet sa mga occasions na ito? Pano kung wala talaga? Alangan namang makiusap pa ako sa mga “close” guy friends ko para magpanggap na “kami”?! Di naman ata tama yun, dee-bah? How I wish na sana mas maintindihan ng mga tao na sa mga panahon ngayon ay “accepted” na sa society na MEDYO made-delay ang pag-iisang dibdib ng mga kababaihan…especially girls like me who want to get into so many things all at the same time. I also wish that people would understand that OKEY LANG AKO and the rest of THE SAMAHANG MALAMIG ANG PASKO…Valentines day…Birthday…etc. I mean, we do get lonely once in a while…naiingit din dun sa may mga LOVELIFE…paminsan-minsan? kung minsan naman ay nagmumuni sa mga past kilig moments? but these lonely moments do not and will not make our “world” stop…

Isipin nyo nalang, na kung wala kaming mga single friends nyo, eh di wala kayong paghihingaan ng sama ng loob tuwing nag-aaway kayo ng boylet or girlet nyo? wala rin kayong “instant date” kung sakaling nangailangan kayo?…wala rin kayong mahihila sa mall para maghanap ng magandang regalo for your better-half pag xmas…o kaya pag bday nya? at ang pinaka-mahalaga sa lahat, wala kayong KAKAMPI if things between you and your labidabs don’t work out. Marami naman sa aming mga singles ay nakaranas na rin na “mainlav”…yun nga lang, obvious ba?????????? it all didn’t work out!

Pero di naman kami “bitter” o galit sa mundo? and totoo nga nyan eh mas lumalalim ang kahulugan ng “love” para s’amin. When you’re all by yourself, there’s more time to reflect and think what you really want it life. Mas naiisip mo kung ano ba talaga ang makakapagbigay ng tunay na ligaya sa’yo...at mas naiisip mo kung pano matutupad ang lahat ng mga pangarap mo. And while reflecting, we also get to imagine that we will, one day…end up with someone who will share those dreams with us.

Di naman sa nang-iinggit ako pero masaya rin ang buhay naming mga single…Biruin mo we can go out with anybody, anytime…that is. We can get into all kinds of things like go to the gym regularly…or get into all kinds of sports…or any “Self-enhancement” programs, etc…Medyo tipid din ang buhay single kasi la naman kaming poproblemahin tuwing Valentines day or Christmas? o diba ang saya?

Sa palagay ko naman ay lahat tayo ay may karapatang sumaya ke single man o attached ka. I guess may kanya-kanya lang tayong panahong lumigaya at Dyos lamang ang makapagsasabi…kung kailan nga dadating and oras na yon.

So, para sa mga kasalukuyang “ATTACHED”, I wish you all the luck and happiness. Should there be any problems, don’t forget that your SINGLE friends are always here for you!!!!!

Sa mga “bagong SINGLES” naman, wag nang magmukmok! Enjoy life…enjoy the single life!!! There are a lot of things that you will still discover. At tandaan mo, DI KA NAG-IISA!!! madami-dami tayo…hehehehe :)

At dun naman sa kapwa kong mga SINGLES? I hope that we are one in believing that we long for someone NOT BECAUSE WE WANT TO BE HAPPY but we long for someone because we want to share our happiness with that special person for the rest of our lives…

Vanilla o Chocolate?

My buddy Nes, made a serious comment to me one day and I quote:

Girl, you are torn between a possible Soulmate and a possible Destiny.

As I was driving home, I smiled thinking about what she said. I do believe I've heard this comment once from one of John Lloyd and Bea's movie but it was just in a different context, "You are torn between a habit and a ______" I forgot what Bea's sister said to her but its like that.

It's true. It doesn't mean that if you found your soulmate you should forever spend your lifetime with that person. But how can you choose who to spend it with if you possibly have two different persons for two different titles arriving at almost the same time in your life?

I don't want to hurt anybody, but someone is destined to get hurt anyway. I think I'm being unfair because I'm playing with fire. But some say I'm lucky I have two eligible bachelors trying to capture my heart, and loving me more than anything(which I've always wanted btw). Myee, one of my closest, told me that it's not a problem, it's only a situation for attractive singles like me. I was like are you insane??!?! hehehe.

Ang hiling ko noon kay Lord kasama ng aking quest of finding myself and finishing my goal in life is to meet the one person who will love me more than words and actions can ever say in this lifetime. Nung medyo sana going smooth na ako xa isa at humingi ako ng sign na kung I'll take it to the next level, saka naman pumasok ang isa pa. Napatanong uli ako sa Kanya, yun na ba ang sign Lord? Na hindi muna dapat o sadyang panggulo lang? Kakaiba rin 'tong pumasok. Nagulat ako at hindi ko ma-explain. What should I do? Which brings us back to what my friend, Nes, said. Na c soulmate at c destiny dumating ng sabay pero hindi iisang tao. Ano ng gagawin mo?

Sagot ko? Haiii bat hindi ko na lang naisipang maging old maid? Tutal meron naman kaming lahi nyan. Na miss ko tuloy ang bestfriend kong c Superman xa New Jersey, malamang sasabihan nya na naman ako, "Sabi na sayo eh, basta single, mahal ang value pinagaagawan tulad ko." Hmmm... "in a relationship" na pla ang mokong na yun. Hanep naman. hehe.

So ayan, tatawanan ko na naman ang lahat ng to. Don't know what else to do fo now.

If only.

i need u in my lyf.

i wana grow old with u.

i wana settle down with u.

when i come back,

i will marry u.

promise.


did somebody ever tell u this? what will u say if somebody did? how would u react? *sigh*

Sore Eyes.

Anak ng weteng naman o! Kung saan pa malapit na magstart ang class dun pa ako minalas na magkaroon ng VIRUS, yuck haha. Pinagalitan yata ako ni Lord kse lagi na lang akong labas ng labas last week. Parang 4 days straight ata akong inumaga ng uwi xa bahay. (ooops my bad!) 3 days na lang, pasukan na. Hay salamat! hehe. At least hindi na ako bored dito. Hehe, ako lang ata ang excited pumasok, hindi naman kaya? haha.

But in fairness I accomplished one important thing last week. That thing was to renew my driver's license. But mine wasn't just an ordinary 30minutes renewal because I lost my DL, and it was already expired for how many years as well, xo they had to get a certification from their main office in Manila. And since it was expired for more than 2 years, I had to apply for another one. Haii.. I spent almost 1,500php for everything. Damn. (Thanks 'Te Rochelle for all your help. Hanapan lang kita ng boyfriend hehe)

Xo my dad is happy that I already accomplished that. He's been constantly reminding me to do it, but I was too lazy to go there coz everytime I pass by LTO, it's always full of people, I hate crowds. haha. Kaya ayun pinagalitan nya ako, xo talagang pinuntahan ko na tlaga. haha. Hinintay ko pa cyang magalit xa akin, whehehe lakas ng trip ko talaga noh! haha.

Baaaddd.

Paranoia is killing me. I've been somewhat in lala land lately and now I couldn't stop being freakin' paranoid about something. I came back hoping for a new revised life but I think I'm regressing again, and it has only been 2 months. I have to stop this madness or else I will risk losing everything I've earned back.

I'm not in a rush. I'm not in a hurry. What the hell am I doing?! Arrrrgggghhh.

I know nobody understands this post but I just want to air out my feelings. And the closest feeling to what I'm truly feeling right now is the word PARANOIA. Damn it. I don't want this anymore. Let it out of my system please!

What hurts...???

:: letting go of a person u've just learned to love

:: reminiscing the good times u shared together

:: shielding ur heart to love somebody

:: trying to hide what u really feel

:: trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from ur eyes

:: loving a person too much

:: giving up someone u never thought of giving up

:: having the right love at the wrong time

:: taking the risk to fall in love again

:: hiding ur relationship from someone else

:: controlling ur feelings to avoid hurting a friend

:: thinking of him every waking and sleeping moment knowing all the while that he never even thinks single thought of you...

:: letting go, because everytime you see the person, you only fall deeper

:: holding back only to find out when it's too late, you both felt the same way, but were only scared to lose each other so much that you didn't let the feelings out

:: falling inlove with someone you didnt mean to fall in love with

:: finding the perfect man...with only one prob....he doesnt love you...

:: helping the one you love court your friend

:: seeing the one you love crying for someone else

:: the waiting also hurts like hell

:: having to hear "I've met someone..."

:: agreeing to his wish to 'just be friends'.

:: asking his freedom back because 'he'd be happier with her'

:: asking u to 'forget that everything happened'and be 'normal' friends again.

:: hearing that you're treated as a little sister.

:: sharing his future plans for the girl with you.

:: u stopped being friends bcoz his girfriend asked him to.

:: being denied in front of people.

:: telling u lies about where he'd been when actually, he was with a 'new friend' or an 'old flame'!

:: telling u he's leaving u to return to his ex (d one he left 4 u!)

:: breaking someone's heart

:: fighting for that one thing that would make you happy

:: holding on to a person who cannot guarantee you his commitment until he has fixed himself...then, you are left hanging for the moment...then he says, time will tell...but you still decided to hope in him and trust him

:: PRETENDING you're OK when inside you're dying...

:: PRETENDING to be strong.... and RECOGNIZING your weakness

:: lying in bed each night, thinking of that special person you can never have..

:: being with someone you can't actually love...

:: pretending you don't love a person whom you actually love...

:: being in love...

:: letting go even if you really don't want to... having no right to say you are
hurting, because it was your decision...

:: seeing the person you love hurt because of you... and not being able to help that person...

:: having the courage to say I LOVE YOU to the person you love and finding out afterwards that things will never be the same again when he doesnt treat you with the same closeness as before

:: having to face the fact that someone is capable of completely destroying the wall that you have set for yourself, leaving you weak and vulnerable

:: admitting that you love someone despite his imperfections

:: finding out that the more you try to hate him, the more you end up loving him, perhaps even more than before...

:: realizing how stupid your mistakes were that led to your break-up.

:: the thought that this guy, used to really love you and you loved him as well but you didn't give enough and he gave up on you

:: Sharing the one you love with SOMEBODY else....."

:: making a promise....and realizing that when the time has come for that promise to be delivered....the commitment is no longer there...

:: the hardest thing about love - believing it exists.


After you've been hurt...

...learn to forgive

...learn to trust and love again

Grabe! After all those hurtful things said and done, dalawa lang ang katapat ng pagkarami-rami. "To forgive and To trust and love again." Hindi ba't unfair?

Hmmm.

My mom and I video chatted awhile ago. I missed her. I missed my family. She was concerned that my re-entry permit hasn't arrived yet. The only thing that did was the confirmation that the immigration has my papers already. My permit is my sure way of re-entering US again without hassle from immigration people. If it won't arrive in a month's time or so, I have to ask permission from the dean of the university I'm in right now to go back in the states for a week or so and then come back again.

Life as a dual resident alien...hard indeed. It's like living in 2 different worlds...2 different laws...but same person all around.

So I just finished eating corn bought from some vendor going around our subdivision, calling out "Bicho-bicho and mais." Since I've maxed out my expenses for this month, I'm just trying my best to stay at home most of the time to avoid bankruptcy of my limited allowance hehehe. Man, it's been raining during the afternoon here nowadays, sucks. I haven't even been to the beach. As Kathie would say, "walang ng beach for mOieee kse tag-ulan na" hehe.

Hmmm. Boring sa bahay. Sleep muna nga me.

Current Feeling: Listen to the song.

I think I'm fallin.......

Welcome back.

Sa waaaaakkkkkaaaaaassssss! I'm back to the blog-0-world. Wooh! Kala ko ba naman, eh walang wala na ako sa civilization. Salamat SmartBro! haha nagadvertise pa daw ba. Oo naman noh, I can survive without cable, but withOUT internet?!?!?! R u kiddin me...? Magpatayan na. haha.

Ang drama ko noh. Eto nagiingay lang dahil at least I have something to do in this boring world na. Pero.... boring pa rin. hahaha.

Anyway I have changed the pic layout, I took that flower shot when I went to the Flower Fields in Carlsbad Ranch, San Diego. It was my last tour of Cali for this year I think. Huhuhu I miss Cali badly. I miss my family dearly. It sucks being alone pla. Now I know.

Hey Hey... What Can I Say!

Tanong ni Moieee.

Kelan mo malalaman na right time na para sagutin ang isang taong nagcocourt sayo? Meron nga ba talagang right time eto? O sadya lamang na gigising ka lang isang araw at masasabi mong eto na ang araw na sasagutin mo na siya? And weird noh? Kala nyo madali lang sagutin ang tanong na to. Bisa sa mga napagtanungan ko, nalaman kong hindi pala madaling sagutin to. Karamihan sa kanila, nagisip ng pagkahaba-haba wala rin namang eksaktong sagot. Meron din namang nagsasabi ng 3months para daw legal, iba naman 6 months depende kung kakabreak lang ng isa sa kanila kasi baka daw hindi pa "over" ang nararamdaman nila sa "ex" nila. Ang iba naman depende na lang daw yun sa nararamdaman mo, eh bakit mo pa daw patatagalin kung wala na rin namang dapat patagalin pa, mas mabuti na daw yung you will get to know more of that person kung kayo na para makita mo daw kung talagang totoo ang mga pinapakita nya noong nanliligaw pa lang cya. At eto pa ang iba pala, hindi nila alam, sila na pla, parang "go with the flow" bigla na lang one day, isang araw, eh sila na, yung parang with matching gulat na "Ay, tayo na pla?" parang ganon daw..

Kakatuwa talaga ng mga sagot, ang iba may point ang iba naman, "say what?" hehe. Eh, sayo kaya, anong sagot mo?