I am getting tired of playing his game but yet I can't seem to stop this craze. Why do I feel like I'm giving and concerning more about him than he does about me? Because that's the sick truth about this all. See, even I myself know about it and yet I'm letting this one slip away, again. It's probably because I have deeper reasons why I continue playing.
I always like to think he's the one. There! That's the main reason. The compromising "thing" is what I do best and I just wish he'd do the same for me. It's hard to love someone, who also loves you back but still you feel as if your love is still beyond or greater than what he feels for you. And then there goes the answer coming from him, " you just don't know how much I love you" rant that sometimes I wish to feel it rather than to just know.
It hurts not to tell anyone about this, literally face-to-face. But nowadays, it's hard to find someone who would listen and give sound advice without question and awful criticism eventhough there are plenty to crticize about. I have little pain threshold for those blows. So I just keep it here in my little box for the meantime til I can take a breather.
1 comment:
I can relate to your dillema CeeCee coz I've been there before. Love is sweet and heaven-like but it can also be a vicious master sometimes to enslave you. Sometimes you just want to free yourself from the pain but then again, you'll keep coming back for more because it is like shabu --- addicting, and cocaine --- habituating.
Have you two talked about this? I mean regarding your feelings? If not, then you two better should before your pain will create a wide gap between the two of you.
I may not be a your counselor or your personal shrink but I could always be your friend. I'm here to listen, if you're shy to share your sentiments face to face, then what's the use of this blog? he he he...
Ciao!
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