Empty.

After watching Eat.Pray.Love, I felt empty all of a sudden. I don’t know why I felt that way, it’s probably because I can relate on some of the things the character learned throughout her journey like being afraid to love, always running from things that she cannot handle, being afraid to move forward and having a hard time leaving the past behind, etc. Now I want to have my own adventure like that someday too, but hopefully it won’t be because I got divorce or made an awful wrong turn in life. I want an adventure where I am most happy and most content. I was supposed to go to a birthday party of my friend’s son this afternoon but unfortunately due to lack of transportation to get there (I’m sharing my car with everybody at home because its the only one working), so I had to stay home and just amuse myself with a movie marathon with my kid brother (Despicable Me and EatPrayLove). I should have just watched Despicable Me and stop because EatPrayLove made me do all those things literally except Love after watching it. Hayyyy.. Am I the only person, very fortunate to be here in US right now who doesn’t want to be here nor live here at all? Greener pasture, better future? Why can’t I see those points. I’m miserable heck. And when I’m miserable and lonely, I keep myself busy by tidying up my room, changing my old bedsheets and curtains and getting rid of the clutter then I lay on my bed and stare blankly at the ceiling and listen to the airplanes that pass by every 15-20minutes or so. The airport is just 15minutes away from our place that’s why. It pains me to just hear it and not be in it. Now I’m going to sleep still feeling the emptiness inside of me. If only God will give me a sign. But I know I cannot be selfish for there are many out there who is more in need of His help. February is closing in, ahhh I’m old.

Firsts

We just got home from the theaters and guess what the first movie I watched this 2011 —— The Social Network! Hahaha, I know it’s old already and that it’s all about Facebook but I haven’t seen it and so I was curious enough how facebook all started. Call me nerd and all but Mark Zuckerberg and his co-founder and best friend Eduardo Saverin were such geniuses. It’s dark comedy witty prowess got FB to where it is now —- which is HUGE! So anyway, the day was okay, my family and I had our first 2011 dinner at TGI Fridays and I found the menus funny because there’s actually written calories on each of the entree — I didn’t know til today too that there has been a law imposed on putting calorie content of all the food in the restaurant on the menu next to the description of an entree. It’s like, after reading a very entising meal description, you’ll be bummed right after because next to it is a dreadful calorie content of that particular entree that you wanted to order. LOL.

Happy 2011

My parents have work most of the day and so it was just me and my siblings at home bonding infront of the tv for the most part, watching HGTV and cooking channels. I know it’s an odd way to celebrate the new year but we just always greet the year quietly and none of those party wild and sleep it off on the start of the year kinda thing for us. Mom’s spaghetti was the bomb! I haven’t had one since like forever, and now I finally had to pig out last night at the eve. That’s all I was looking forward to during the day really… (LOL) So right now, I’m doing my farmville and cityville on facebook and then I will be writing my new year’s resolutions which is in private of course. I wanted it to come true so I won’t display it here or it might get jinxed. Last night just before midnight strike, I had a chance to call some of the special people that make life worthwhile and interesting. I had a chance to talk about all those times spent, conversations, laughters and secrets shared. I just wished that love will speak soon if it’s really meant to be because it’s hard to say you’re happy of the way you are but in reality you really love that person that’s why you are happy and yet doesn’t have the nerve to tell that person because you are simply afraid that distance will just tear your plans apart. Oh well, the year is just beginning. We’ll see.