Happy New Year to ALL!!!

Hope you have a wonderful crazy year 2007 ahead!!! God bless to each and everyone of you and thanks for always supporting my blogsite! To all you bloggers out there, keep blogging and keep writing your stuff but don't ever forget to have a life, coz there's more out there than just facing an electronic.

Hehehe. Keep smiling. Keep your priorities straight people! Let's welcome 2007!!!

Hip Hip Hooray! ! !

love always,
mOieee

Over some smirnoff

I was bored today so I lurked around my friendster friends' profiles and pictures. I got sick of it after (I wasn't counting or anything but) 10 profiles I guess. Most of the profiles I've gone to are my friends who are in a relationship. hahaha, now you quite know why I got sick huh. Nakakainggit ang mga pictures sobra! Sarap naman ng merong kahug, kahold hands, ka-maski ano lang... Hmmm, napaisip tuloy ako, ayun nga siguro kulang sa malungkot kong mundo. Sabi nila, those who don't have a life, blog. Ang sabi ko naman, those who don't have a special someone, blog. hehe, sympre asa bahay ka lang palagi, wala kang date or wala kang pupuntahan except kung magkayayaan ang barkada.

Nakakamiss ang may special someone. Lambingan buong magdamag na magkasama kayo. Mag-usap sa telepono maski wala na kayong sasabihin sa isa't isa, basta naririnig nyo lang ang paghinga ninyo ayus na rin yun. At hindi ka na ngayon sa magulang mo lang magpapaalam kung may pupuntahan ka kundi pati na dun sa special someone mo kung hindi cya kasama. Yung magkaroon kayo ng theme song. At yung laging may kasama ka kung saan2x. At ang tawagan na kay dami2x. Mga pet names na "Baby", "Mahal", "Ga", "Bhe", "Ling", "Tart", "Love", "Honey"...at kung ano pa dyan. Hayyy...nakakamiss yun.

Sabi nila, pusong bato daw ako kasi medyo matagal na nga akong walang boyfriend. Matagal na nga rin naman siguro. Ewan ko ba, prang gusto ko.. na natatakot naman ako. Kaya wala lang, hindi rin ako nageentertain masyado. Simula kasi ng naging prang love counselor ako, parang nakikita ko ang mga flaws ng different kinds of relationship. Magaling ako actually sa larangan ng advices. Pero ewan ko kung ako yung may problemang ganun, makakaya ko kaya? Ang iba naman, nakakarelate ako, nadaanan ko na kasi....ako ang taong malimit magkaroon ng relationship pero matitindi naman, traumatic and memorable. Kaya nga siguro naiintindihan ko ang mga iba dyang lumalapit sa akin for advice kasi I see myself in them, or I see my past boyfriends in them at yung mga kalokohan o kabutihan dulot nila.

I may come as a strong person, intimidating to some pero akala lang nila yun. I've been thru a lot of dilemmas myself and some of them were unresolved, avoided and just plainly forgotten. I'm not perfect. I just give good advices I guess. Don't be deceive by appearances. I may look naive but nothing surprises me. Kaya sometimes I find love predictable na. I have yet to find that something or someone who can bring out more of me, who can keep me at the edge of my seat and who can steer a calm running water.

Is there a man for me this 2007? Hmm...I dunno. It's quite hard to tell, I can only predict what's infront of me. I haven't yet to master premonitions. hehehe. We'll see.

Kakatuwa ka!

A couple of my friends showed this video to me. We don't have TFC(The Filipino Channel) at home but I'm very familiar with this show. When I watched this video, parang gusto ko ng magsubscribe ng TFC. Hilarious! Galing ni pooh.

Girlaloo Girls & Wasalak Boyz Annual Event

I can only laugh. If you're the only (I assumed I was the only one) single person left in your circle of friends, you would laugh too. I wasn't surprise coz it was bound to happen anyway, yet it was just funny seeing your once kalog no inhibition friends who always make fun of each other and tease this and that to each other now acted so reserved, prim, and proper. Awkward to look at them with their special someone coz they act so weird, its like almost not themselves. Or maybe I just didn't see those sides in them. Nakakaloka, parang mas ayaw ko tuloy magkaroon ng special someone. lol. That's why when it was time to take group pictures it only took a few shots to have a decent picture while before there was never a single decent group picture ever.

But nevertheless, it was still fun as always, there's never a dull moment with these guys, my homies gone mature. hahaha.

Ok I'll behave now. I should find myself a man soon. Para ako naman ang tumino-tino. Waaaahhhh yeah right.

Uh huh.

First Love-

Unmeasurable.

Undefined.

Unbelievable.

Uninhibited.

But never FOREVER.

So what if I don't believe in first loves? That doesn't mean it cannot happen to U.

Joyeux Noel

Merry Christmas to one and all.

Ang weird kasi sa Pinas, Christmas na, eh dito sa states mamaya pa ang Noche Buena. Gulo nyo. hehe. Well, I have been busy this week. We had a Christmas party dinner here at home last Friday, with family friends and relatives. Tuwing gustong magparty, sa amin kaagad ang sinasuggest na bahay maski hindi naman kami nagooffer, hirap kasi maglinis ng mansion noh kala nyo ha hehe jowk! Pero oh well, no choice pa rin naman.. na miss ko tuloy ang may mga helpers at maids. So as in hindi lang room ko ang malinis kundi ang buong bahay, dalawa kami ng dad ko, pinagtiyagaan naming linisin ang lahat ng sulok ng bahay. Exhausting kaya!

Anyway, after the dinner tumawag ang friend ko. Sabi nya kailangan nya ng tulong ko, kasi nagkasakit ang lead vocalist nila, eh meron pa naman silang holiday gig ng gabing yun. And since I jammed with his band (local fil-am rock band lang naman sila) sa practice sessions nila a couple times before, nagask ng favor sa akin if I can sub for tonight. Lagot kasi sila dun sa manager ng bar kung magkacancel sila at the last minute. Plus I get paid at libre pa daw nya ako ng Barbie Almalbis tickets sa Feb. Oh diba! So ayun la naman talaga akong ginagawa kaya I agreed to sub. Practice ng konti sa backstage then it was showtime. Ang ayoko ko lang talaga sa mga venues eh yung usok, prang cloudy at sympre closed area, kasi nga bar, maliit lang naman, so prang nakoclaustrophobic ako. waaahhh but the show must go on.

It went well sa awa ng Diyos, I did miss some lines pero whattaheck, feeling ko hindi rin naman masyadong marinig ung boses ko dahil sa lakas ng instruments. Iba pla talaga kapag banda at live. Nasanay kasi akong pa combo-combo lang, gitara o organ o minus one hehe. But all went good. Masaya naman. Hinatid ako ng mga 3am na, nagkayayaan pa nga maginuman, sabi ko uwi na ko umaga na antok na ako tumawa sila kasi alam nilang hindi naman talaga ako halos natutulog hehe. So ayun, kwento ko lang.

Special mention to kathie, fye, lib and keloyd... hope u all are having a good holiday!

Bato Bato sa langit ang tamaan, buti nga sayo!

Irresistible

never have i felt this way before
but i know its never gonna last forevermore
the timing is off, the drama is on
my mind asked my heart, "what's going on?"

the times we spend together are the happiest
its like the sun rises in the east and sets in the west
sure the feelings are mutual
but the people around us thinks it's crucial.

yet its another one of those whatever days
wherein we risk what we have starting today.
the guilty pleasure we love to share
my day's never complete without ur "take care."

we know its obvious yet we play around
our destiny, will it ever bound?
the you and me, its hard to ignore
all i could think about for now is, "i want more."

Ano ba yan.. hehe

Sometimes you can't help but love being single because this is the only status where you can see how far your charms will go and will infect others. Seriously.

Kaya minsan napapaisip ako. Tama nga ba ang matagal ng sinasabi sa akin ng aking mga kaibigan na ibang klase daw talaga ang charms ko. Eh ikaw ba naman ang binansagang "Boy Magnet" hindi ka kaya mapapaisip kung bakit nila nasabi yun? Yun ang lagi nilang description kasi sa akin nung high school at I think mapahanggang ngayon ata. Hindi ko lang naman pinapansin kasi katuwaan lang naman dahil my gawd hindi naman akong pangmodel dahil wala akong height at weight pra dun at lalo ng hindi ako magiging front page cover ng isang beauty magazine dahil ni magsuklay ng buhok ko tinatamad pako.

Pero ang pinagtataka ko lang eh bakit parang ngayong medyo mature na ang isip ko (waah mature daw o), Im starting to realize that maybe they are somehow right. I don't know how I do it, but sadyang malapitin lang talaga ako sa guys...malambing kasi akong tao atsaka walang malice lang naman sa akin ang mga pagbibiro at mga pangaasar. Kaya siguro nahuhulog ang loob ng mga guys na umaaligid-ligid sa akin, taken man yan, bigo or single din. Nasabi minsan ng bestfriend ko na Im gullible, easily trusting, kaya easily tricked din. Siguro nga there are times na I am. Kasi I give the benefit of the doubt to a person, I give chances muna kasi pano naman malalaman kung seryoso nga ang isang tao sayo eh kung binara mo na kaagad-agad db. I would rather have drama than have a dilemma wherein you're just pretending you're happy when you're miserable. I don't like, as much as possible, to pretend, I'd rather risk it to the open and get hurt by it, than pretend and just keep the hurt inside.

Daming nagtatanong, esp yung mga taken na infatuated sa kin(hmp ewan ko ba dyan sa kanila noh)...bakit daw ba wala pa akong boyfriend? Baka naman daw masyado akong mapili. Tinawanan ko lang sila hehehe at sabihing, pana-panahon lang yan. Masarap nga may special someone pero hindi naman ako nagmamadali. Atsaka andito lang naman ako very open to possibilities of a happy ending later on. At dagdag sabi ko pa sa kanila, buti nga kayo dyan eh, may nagmamahal sa inyo. Seryosohin nyo naman mga lolo! Tinatakot nyo naman ako nyan eh. Paano na lang pla kung ako yung gf nyo tapos meron pla kayong gustong iba. Grabe yan mennn.

Hindi daw kasi kapanipaniwala. Again, I just laughed.

Tigilan nyo nga ako.

I mean, seriously.

It was forecasted to rain today. Actually it was forecasted there's going to be a storm today. 2-3inches of rain fell this afternoon. I was like...this is what they call a storm? Wow. Nothing beats bagyo in my homeland. But that's not the whole point why I'm blogging about the weather today. I wanted to emphasize that I hate it when it rains here in California. Becoz frankly speaking, no offense, but Californians don't know how to drive on a wet weather. I mean dang they're slow! I was on my way home from school and I was caught up in this bumper to bumper traffic on the freeway but there was nothing wrong, no accidents; no collisions of some sort; no nothing; nada. And it wasn't even pouring cats and dogs. People just drive freakin slow man! Not that I'm excited to go home or anything but the mere fact that I have to drive 45 minutes on a normal flow of traffic to school and back everyday has now become a 2 hour drive. So what do reckless impatient drivers do on this kind of situation? Yup, work their way from inner to middle to outer lanes and back again like a crazy maniac. Oops was I describing myself again? My bad. It's not my fault they don't know how to drive on a rainy day...I mean I remembered back in my homeland, I managed to work my way driving a vintage Orange volkswagen on a knee length flooded town just to get home and not get stranded on some hotel (eventhough it sounded inviting), how much more now that I have a more durable car on a no-flood rainy day? Lo... I mean seriously, it should rain more here in Cali, so that people will kinda get use to a WET weather aside from just being spoiled by SUN and FUN.

Just saying.

Mel Gibson's Apocalypto

It depicts a fictitious view of the decline of Maya Civilization. (Mayas' being the unsophisticated brutal savages)

The best. Don't watch this if you're not fond of heads being cut off and rolled down the stairs, human heart being dugged out of the chest, huge smelly rotten humans' pit, reading subtitles, and men wearing as what my friend described as, "thongs before victoria secret was born". It's not a scary movie..it's simply gory.

Mel Gibson is sick. The "good" sick kind. I loved it.

And the actor who starred as Jaguar Paw is not that bad.

(btw thanks Jo!)

Just love in Silence.. i guess

Naranasan nyo na ba ang mga panandali-ang saya ng pseudo-love? Yun bang u think you are falling in-love or crushing on someone na tapos bigla na lang *poof!* iniwan ka na naman sa kawalan? At to think pseudo lang yan ha, what more kung totoong nangyari yan sa totoong love. Hayy..mahirap masangkot sa mga ganitong sitwasyon. Alam mo ngang may nagmamahal sayo pero hindi naman pwede kasi there are just some things to consider...lalong lalo na kapag committed kana, or d naman kaya ay committed na ang taong nagtapat na mahal ka.

It's not a bad thing to say your true feelings to someone eventhough you know for a fact na malayong maging kayo. It just happens. Mahirap nga lang kapag nakapagtapat ka nga tapos hindi mo rin pla akalaing pareho din kayong nafefeel at nagtapat din cya sayo. Naku! Edi imbis na lumuwag na sana ang kalooban mo, humigpit times 2 na kasi mutual pla ang feelings nyo! Kaya lang, merong malaking PERO na in english, BUT. Pero meron na cyang gf. But she has a bf.

Napaisip ka tuloy, at mas naguluhan. U then try to get to know more of that person, to weigh things kung maging kayo nga, ano ang possiblity? Meron kayang future? Is there a chance na if you risk losing "whom you already have" mas magiging happy ka kaya? OR all will fail and you will then make sisi to yourself why you risked it pa. OR if you risk letting go of "whom you want to be with" there's a possibility naman na you'll never find the happiness that you seek and will always ask yourself the buwisit question, "what if"?

No one risks being hurt. Maski gusto mo nga ang isang tao pero kung hindi nga naman talaga pwede bakit naman pagpipilitan. And don't give false assurances to a person kasi masakit yun. Don't try to wait or let someone you want to be with wait... eh pano kung magwork out kayo ng "whom you already have" where does that leave "whom you want to be with"? Edi mas nasakatan mo sya. Hayaan mo na lang, maski sabihin man nating don't wait, there's a part of us that wants to wait, masyado tayong in touch with our feelings especially ang mga girls. We love to have our own happy endings, and we deserve to have one talaga.

And you know what is the best solution for this dilemma? Mamili ka. Dun ka ba sa taong presently yours and you're somehow sure of things OR you'll risk going for that person na hindi ka naman sure kung may future kayo pero nangingibabaw naman ang kaligayahan mo just by the thought of her/him atsaka how much more kung maging kayo?

Pwede ring hindi mamili. You can always LOVE IN SILENCE and do nothing at all. Tingnan natin kung hanggang saan ang kaya mo.

But one thing is FOR SURE: YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM BOTH, at lalo ng YOU CAN'T LOVE TWO BIRDS AT THE SAME TIME.

Wala namang ganyanan pare ko.

Spirit of the Holidays

Hayyy at last I already finished putting up the Christmas lights outside on top of our roof. Hirap naman kasi dito sa America, everything is self-service. Back then in Pinas, whenever I wanted to put something up or do something like a lil carpentry or akyat sa punong mangga, I have "Baldad" ,our all-around houseboy, to do that for me. Isang tawag lang eh he'll do it na. But as I said, that was then. Now... I do things on my own, helo?! hindi ko naman maaasahan ang dad kong umakyat at magkabit ng lights sa bubungan namin kasi naku mas maselan at maarte pa yun sa akin hehehe. My dad and my 8yr old bro are the only boys in the family soo sino pa nga ba ang gagawa kundi ako, at me only.

Pero ok lang, I like learning about life more pag hands-on. I'm more of a doer than a speaker, and I think I have the patience to learn the parts missing when I still had yayas, bodyguards, houseboys and maids around. Kaya kung tuwing uuwi ako ng Pinas, nasho-shock sila sa mga kilos ko. Kala nila lil miss princesa ang aking e-aasal kasi nga daw galing states pero instead mas naging sanay ako sa mga gawaing bahay o maski pag-ayos na lang ng kama ko... inshort cowgirl, kahit saan mo ihagis sa mundo, makakaadapt at matuto rin.

But sometimes, I do miss the princess life I had way back, lalo na pag I get so busy with work and school that I can never have the time to clean up even just my room. hehehe. Eh ako pa naman ms. neat freak ako, gusto laging organize at kung hindi, I can't concentrate. Sanayan lang talaga.

Anyway, I'm so proud of my work outside on our lawn, actually it's our first Christmas na finally we had the time to put up Christmas lights...or should I say I had the time, hehehe. Hmmm...what else to do? Ah right, off to writing Christmas cards naman para walang masayang na oras. Maski I'm not feeling so Christmasee this season, I still want to make an effort to bring out holiday spirits to others, maski para sa kanila na lang tong mga ginagawa ko ok na para sa akin :-)

Losing My Mind

(This poem I wrote was based on someone's feeling to a girl he might be inlove with but can never have, not because the girl is already taken but the painful truth that he is the one taken and yet he is still feeling this.)

never thought id see u again.
now i wished u didnt ride that train.
sweet lingering of the past i cant erase,
now cloud my thoughts as i imagine your embrace.

if only we've met a couple of years back.
our destiny might be on track.
though the desire i have for her is sincere,
the timing is so off it's hard to steer.

its hard to take the risk and more harder when attached
but i cannot deny this feeling rekindled at last.
"how can u care for two people at the same time?," she asked.
i care for you most was all i can gasped.

i know it's wrong for me to feel this,
but there are some things in love we have no control over.
gosh ive dreamed of this to happen
now i think its better in dreams instead.

Blaaahhhg

I decided to change it back to my old template because this is well, first and foremost, my most original template ever put up that felt just right. So anyway, what's cooking? hehe...

I watched Tyra Banks' America's Next Top Model finale yesterday and thank goodness Caridee won over Melrose, (to those who doesn't watch well I don't really care, I just want to blahhhhg! hehe). I don't know, I'm not feeling myself today, I think it's what they call December rush, eventhough I'm not literally rushing anything. Actually the days feel like a bit draggy to me and I don't know why. I passed by several blogsites this afternoon, most of them from that Philippine Blog Awards site (call of boredom so to speak). And no offense or anything but some of the blogs nominated weren't really appealing to me, probably because I was used to blogs that have personal touch in them, I mean those sites have personal touch but in a more informative way not the more "YOU AND ME" way. And I was just used to reading blogs that I can actually relate to in some point or another.

But its' their blog, and I salute them because they were nominated and to be nominated means their writing were probably effective to most readers. Now where does that leave my blog? hahaha, I'm sucha loser, I guess all I know is how to live my own life. But that's all it takes right? Hay. What am I talking here anyway, I'm just idling again I guess.

I have to somehow come back to reality. Wooh!

LINK: PHILIPPINE WEB AWARDS

A QUESTION NO ONE DARES TO ANSWER

So if you are caught in a situation where you have two of these people waiting for you (unexpectedly but true), and of course you can only choose one, who will you choose and why?

a.) SOMEONE who loves you

b.) SOMEONE you love

I know this is probably a gas-gas question na, being asked over and over pero I never really understood the answers kasi wala naman nagdare answer this question. Bakit kaya?

SO here I am going to ask this question again. Hopefully you'll enlighten my curiousity. Actually hindi pa naman nangyari sa akin, pero I'm having a feeling it will someday. U know naman my love life, very colorful kahit wala naman akong love life. Hay. Hehe. I just want to prepare myself for that day if it ever comes.

Instead of Waiting

I read this at one of my friends' blogs. Thought it was inspiring so I'll share it with you.

"After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn't mean learning and company doesn't mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. You learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So, plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure... that you really are strong, and you really do have worth."

MY Christmas list

I never thought it was already December til I visited Ms. Fye's blog. She already has resolutions for the New year while I don't even have my Christmas rundown of "All I want for Christmas" list yet. hehehe! So without further ado here are a few of the things I wish Santa could give me. Promise to keep it short Santa!

Ipod Video (yes, I don't have a freakin Ipod yet, so sue me! hehe, what can I say, latebloomer's always late)

That punk rock heeled shoes I saw in one of the stores at Laguna Beach.

A $50-100 worth of gift cards from my fave stores, PacSun, Forever21, AE, Hollister, A&F (ladies...who can say NO to shopping? helo?!? hehe)

That's all. Though I'm a Christmas person, love having Christmas parties and exchanging gifts and stuffs, I'm not much of a gift junkie person. I ask for just few things because I want to keep it real you know. I mean c'mon, Santa can't give them all to me, how much more if I put a list of 20 things or so right? hehehe!

So, to those who are planning to give me a gift, paki-Fedex na lang o paki-iwan nyo na lang sa doorstep ng bahay namin ha? char! hehehe.

Heto na naman...

Gusto ko sanang sabihing heto na naman.... ang pasko. Pero iba ang karugtong ng phrase na yan.

Natatakot akong idugtong ang tunay na karugtong nyan. Baka kasi, mabulyaso, makarma, makung ano-ano pa. U know naman kapag palagi kasing iniisip ang isang bagay, mas lalong natatagalan at mas lalong hindi nagkakatotoo. Hindi naman sa gusto kong magkatotoo yung karugtong, pero yun lang ang paniwala ko. Superstitious ang lola, uso pa ba yun? hehe.

Anyway, bakit ganun noh? Kapag tahimik ka lang sa larangan ng pag-ibig, may manggugulo talaga ng isip mo. Trend ba talaga yun? Ang dating "single" status, eh naging "it's complicated" na naman. O db, parang friendster..hehe. Magsabi ka man sa sarili mo ng "wag muna" o "ayoko na" o "tama na muna to"--hindi parin magawa-gawa. Vulnerability ba ang tawag dito? Or Compensatory mechanism na talagang nasa stage kana ng tinatawag nila sa Erikson's Psychosocial Development na "Intimacy vs. Isolation." O ayan, medyo may konting knowledge naman para may matutunan naman kyo sa pagbabasa ng blog ko hehe. Pero hindi ako psychologist ha.

Ewan ko rin kung bakit may mga unexpected people tayong namemeet na hindi natin akalaing merong hidden feelings pla sila towards sa atin tapos nung medyo naging close na kayo, minsan narereveal nila to sa atin. Ang lakas ng loob nila noh? Pero I really admire those people who have the courage to say things na unexpectedly sweet o yung mga hindi mo akalaing meron pla silang gusto sayo matagal na pero they haven't had the chance to say it, tapos nasabi na nila. Nakakaluwag daw yun ng kalooban, napapahinga ka ng mas maganda kaysa itago-tago mo lang. Malay mo yung taong masabihan mo ng mga matagal mo ng pagnanasa hehe, eh meron din plang nafefeel towards u, o umaasa rin na someday reciprocal nga ang feelings nyo, o mapapakanta nlang ng Bakit Ngaun Ka Lang - Freestyle version. Hmm hehe.

Nakatulog ako ng 4am kanina dala na ng gusto kung magaral pero I ended up chatting and having this dilemma kse naman boring magaral eh hehe(sinisi pa daw ang pagaaral). Nagising naman ako ngaun ng 6am. O db masaya ang feeling na to, nadaragdagan ang insomnia ko, maya-maya vampire na ako sisip-sipin ko na dugo nyo hehe.

Hay heto na naman.....

So alam nyo na ba kung ano ang karugtong sa phrase na to?

Hindi ko parin sasabihin. Bahala kayo hehe.