I'll Always Remember The Day You Said, "I LOVE YOU"

The day you said "I love you,"
a closed door opened in my heart.
And in the years to come,
when you'll say it
a thousand times more,
I want to feel just as delighted
as when those words
first fell upon my ears.

The day you said "I love you,"
I felt a warmth within my heart
like no other I've ever known.
THe person I had dreamed of
for so many lonely years
was righter there in my arms,
and I didn't ever want to let go.

The feeling was so serene
and the mood so spectacular
that I almost believed I was dreaming ---
except for the fact that
I knew it was real.

Not only do I want to spend
today with you, my love,
but tomorrow, the day after,
and the very last day I'm given.

Stay beside me always;
love me with all that's within you
and in all that you do.
I'm in this forever,
and I'll leave you never.
My dream came true;
I found it in you.
It was the day you said to me
"I love you."

Caught Up with some FLU.

Haiii.. goodmorning to all. I was absent on all of my classes for today because I have a fever that has been going on since Friday night when I came home from DR duty in Guimaras Is. The medical certificate states a viral pharyngitis but to sum it all up, this is just a bad case of being new to the whole traveling thing again. Imagine we have to travel for every single day for 3 days by boat and then back again in the afternoon! Plus the weather wasn't cooperative at that time too. I've always had low immunity against this viral shit, so welcome to my world! *winkz*

Anyway, all I mostly did today was catch some zzz.. especially when I found out that we didn't have NCM class too! Cool beans. Lucky me! And my section is lucky enough to have me coz for 2 days straight we didn't have classes on our major pressure subject. I'm sure we'll have another one of those "make-up" classes Mam L is known for. *hehe*

Actually I've accomplished a lot today, I went to the bank to pay off my credit card, and jeeezzz! I don't know where I spent all the money I've lost for just a matter of 2 weeks. Huhuhu! Now it's back to ditching lunch and just drink plenty of water for me again to last till the next pay day. I also paid dad's sss and found out that I can pay it at the mall rather than in that far away main office they have. Haiiii naku life! Studying is expensive. Everything else is expensive. Buti na lang LOVE is still priceless.

Freaky Friday.

My family went back to Cali already and last Wednesday was their flight back. Good thing I was done early that day that I still caught them in the airport. It was hard saying goodbye again, driving to school with my sunglasses on that Wednesday morning fighting back the tears forming on my lower eyelids from falling down as I wake my lil brother up to say "goodbye" and looking at him looking away from me because he's about to cry himself was always hard times for me. So I was so glad I was still able to catch them at the airport and see them for the last time in I guess, another year again. I probably won't be home for the holidays this year and the next because of my hospital duties and ripped bank account coz of all the expenses these past 4 months ( my grandma's death and everything). I only have my tuition money in there. Everything else, I pay in card, owing the money I don't know how much already. But nevertheless, I was glad they came and reduced my sadness and longing for loved ones even just for 45 days.

Now it's back to being serious with my studies, but it's hard to live in a home composed of only myself and a helper. I miss my grandma and her talkative nurse aide. So this is the part where I have to say again, "LIFE MUST GO ON."

Anyway, this morning was our white duty uniform dress rehearsal @ school in preparation for the official hospital duty schedules on July 21 or 24. It was fun actually, it was just today that I was eager to go to school hahaha, because I like our white uniforms, looking rather decent today hahaha. After uniform and requirements checking, we didn't have classes in the afternoon. After picture takings and stuff, me and my friends changed into our go clothes and went around the city. We visited one of our friends father whom she hasn't seen for quite awhile because her parents are separated and his dad texted that he misses her, and so we told her that we'll go with her for moral support. She didn't wana go at first since she's embarrassed about her situation but we told her it's alright and everybody has secrets and no life is perfect no matter how we assume it is.

There I saw the other side of my bubbly girlfriend Emzkie. Now I understood her outward bubbliness more and where she got it from. It was a good revelation. Thanks for sharing it with us Emz. At least I can add you up to the list of my "true" friends. It's hard to have one nowadays. I know, I know it's surprising for that line to come from me but seriously, I have lots of friends, countless even but those friends I thought knows me and I thought are closest to me are the ones who'll kill me with greed, envy and false pride. My dad was right, you can have plenty of friends, but you can just pinpoint 1 or 2 who stands out the truest. That's why no more "best"friends for me, that's a "jinx" word already. I'll call ya'll "close" from now on. Nowadays, I associate "bestfriends" to my enemies and to the animals I hate. Haiiz..it's heck of a cruel world eventhough I'm not doing anything to aggravate them.

How was the basketball game by the way honey??? You ditched our Friday chat for basketball! Typical... HEHEHE! kidding sweetie I know you told me beforehand you have a game today. It's just me missing you who is talking sarcastically here again. Mwaaahhh! Love you.

Lights out for me!

Abandoned.

I'm crying again. I hate Mondays, most especially. The idea of eating lunch alone. Walking in the hallways alone. I'm practically alone. Again. Once more. I miss my friends who are not just some trophy friends were they're there because you're colleagues but because they really are you're friends. My sched is different from all of them and I really don't have friends in the class I'm in now and will be till I graduate.

Plus going home to a boyfriend whom I can't talk straight and have his undivided attention because the only place where he can chat with me is his office were he just sneaks out to chat most of the time and he has too much work in his hands. So he'll sends me messages every now and then but the next thing I'd know, he went home already or went somewhere because of something blah blah reasons. But I don't complain and just let the idea go because that's his life. He needs to attend to his own responsibilities at work and of course to his needs as a person too. I respect that. ( or I'm just toooooo good.)

I come to realize that I'm STILL alone. No one ever sticks around to give me company. At the end of the day, it's still me against this harsh world. No one is ever constant. I hate INDEPENDENCE. Coz I grew up being loved and my idea of being loved is the presence of people who loves me and I love surrounding me. Without the presence, I just lose it.

And so I'll sleep tonight with another teary eyed episode. And wake up in the wee hours of the morning to study. Come to think of it, the only constant thing in my life right now is... MY TEXTBOOK. It's my companion to everywhere I go. At least it can just sit there and say nothing but I know I won't feel so much abandoned because I can pre-occupy my mind by reading it or even just by mere scanning.

This is what I hate most about being USED to things or persons. Once they're gone, taken away from me, or they don't do things they normally do anymore and give me too many reasons which I know are reasonable for them but not for me...it's either I break down or I turned into this stoned person. Cold and emotionless. Better this way I guess, I can just go on with life without being mad at someone but myself. At least nobody gets hurt. Only my heart is continually bruised.