Shit.

Drunk last Monday and look where it got me today. We had our final hospital duty today and it was awkward. At the corridors of the ward, when walking pass other wards, people stare, and I hate it when people stare. Some were asking me if I'm okay when they very well know the answer to their question at the back of their heads. But I didn't have an answer to a "How are you?" question this week anyway so I never answered but just forced a smile. I don't want to comment anymore because I noticed that the more I say something, the more people get confused.

But oooohhhhh weeeellll!

I can very well now see why my dad, the night before I left for the Philippines to get my B.S degree 3 years ago, advised me to be careful of the people in our hometown. He said, the draw back of being a US citizen or a green card holder living in the Philippines is that, people here would always tend to think that whoever comes close to us and or make friends with us or more than friends with us, are just using us because of our status... And those kind of people who think of those awful things are just envy that they aren't as close as those people who became closer to us. And one thing I've learn from him is looking and seeing beyond that, and allowing people to respect and love me how they want it to be. And getting to know them individually, so that I can distinguish a friend from a poser.

I now understand what he meant by that. I saw those kinds of people and I hate those people because they ruin happy endings. I'm so tired of drama. Someone said not to drown myself, but it's too late for that, I'm already drowning in my own misery and the only way to get out of this misery is to leave. And I'm about to, not a wonderful last moment of experience here in this chapter of my life but every past experience leads to a new one and I'm just going to look forward for that.

Sick n tired of this shit already. Wait..haven't I said this over and over!?!? Arrrgghh.