Nothing's better

So it's been raining terribly in Southern California, I can't imagine this is even normal in Cali, I thought I was in Ireland or something because of this nonstop rainy weather. But there is something about the weather that makes me review nicely and concentrate more on my work. Oh well either way, I was hoping it was snow rather than rain. My boyfriend's local board exam is done and he's now out partying the night away. I sure hope he is being a good boy like he said he would because I am. And if he is not doing what he said he is doing for the past months, then just by the snap of my fingers I can do the same things he does as well without question. But so far, I am in my best manners and good behaviors. My hatred in LDRs is already showing up. How long will I keep this up? A friend once told me a long time ago, "Ikaw? LDR? Kelan pa? Because last time I checked hindi mo kaya."So I am now proving my friend that I can surpass this, but right now, I feel like ako lang yata ang may gusto nito. Mahina yung kabilang kampo. And kapag mahina yung kabila, I feel like I'm not being loved and I feel like I don't want to trust. So this past few days, I don't feel the love at all. I feel so empty and nobody is trying to make me feel better. I'm still left alone because I'm shitty miles away. I hope someone will change all the sad feeling because I'm tired and when I give up, I will give up.