i dont know how to act around you
because i dont want to give you the idea
that i really like you.. for you're in a relationship
and im not about to get in between the two of you.
but when i see your efforts of care for me
i can't help it, to not honestly think that you really do.
especially when outta the blue, you called!
i havent felt chills of excitement like that for a long time
i love it, i cant deny.
i guess this is just about it for us
friends...just friends.
though when i think of you in the middle of the day
i just never fail to smile quietly.
but no, this is wrong, i have to hold back a little.
i want you to be happy and not feel confuse
what you have with her is special, i know.
eventhough ours might be more than special.
we just have to leave it like that at least for the meantime.
until when? i know i can't wait forever, can you?
6/30/05
6/25/05
IS IT JUST ME?
the thought of u kills me
how long will we stay like this
are we just feeling each other
or is it only me who's feeling this.....
ive been thinking about u lately
and i dont even know why
though im busy with life
it never fails to remind me that u exist....
it so ridiculous to think sometimes that
when u call,
my heart beats faster
my hands become all sweaty
my voice is a little shakier than usual....
i just want to smile to all these
becoz i havent seen u for years
and yet just simple surprise calls or text of yours
makes me crazier than i usually am....
i guess i can't deny, that i do like u alot
i like the fact that u make me laugh
i like the fact that im one of the people u call to
when u have something awesome happening
i like the fact that u would want to talk to me
eventhough ur in the middle of something....
arrrggghhh.. i don't know.
little things said and done to and for me
just melts my heart away
and yeah, u did... :)
how long will we stay like this
are we just feeling each other
or is it only me who's feeling this.....
ive been thinking about u lately
and i dont even know why
though im busy with life
it never fails to remind me that u exist....
it so ridiculous to think sometimes that
when u call,
my heart beats faster
my hands become all sweaty
my voice is a little shakier than usual....
i just want to smile to all these
becoz i havent seen u for years
and yet just simple surprise calls or text of yours
makes me crazier than i usually am....
i guess i can't deny, that i do like u alot
i like the fact that u make me laugh
i like the fact that im one of the people u call to
when u have something awesome happening
i like the fact that u would want to talk to me
eventhough ur in the middle of something....
arrrggghhh.. i don't know.
little things said and done to and for me
just melts my heart away
and yeah, u did... :)
6/9/05
SWEET NOTHING
Wouldn't it be weird, when all the guys say sorry to you because they blurted out their feelings for you, and yet never stood up strong for it? Kakainis noh? But I'm used to it anyway...noon I cry over it coz they can't wait for me, but now, I don't really mind at all, I just laugh about it coz somewhere out there, I know they do care about me at some point in their lives. Sucks when you live away from home, and then all of a sudden, someone comes along and he's just a thousand miles away from you...buti sana kung nandoon parin ako ngayon malamang, my prince charming's just a mall away from me.
I don't believe in long distance relationship either. But that's just my opinion, and I really do admire those who can go through all the trouble communicating and trusting each other just to make their relationship work. Maybe I'm just immature when it comes to this. I've experienced it but then, guess who made the first move to back out...yup ME. There's nothing wrong but then, I don't want someone to wait for me anymore because to me, it means I'm selfish. Why? Nothing. I'm just afraid to hinder any happiness that might come their way that's more than I could give for now, that's why I don't let possibilities wait for me.
I'm just happy that I, at some extent, made them happy. If you're going to ask me, if I'm sad about any of this, of course I wouldn't deny that fact. Who wouldn't be, right? It's really nice if there's really someone out there waiting for me...because it gives me hope and inspiration somehow to work hard for the future ahead ...but I guess it's just going to be dream for me, and nothing else. Wala lang, maybe it's just fate.
There's always a purpose for everything, I guess. So hey, why should I be glum? Gusto ko naman to eh dba? *big sigh*
I don't believe in long distance relationship either. But that's just my opinion, and I really do admire those who can go through all the trouble communicating and trusting each other just to make their relationship work. Maybe I'm just immature when it comes to this. I've experienced it but then, guess who made the first move to back out...yup ME. There's nothing wrong but then, I don't want someone to wait for me anymore because to me, it means I'm selfish. Why? Nothing. I'm just afraid to hinder any happiness that might come their way that's more than I could give for now, that's why I don't let possibilities wait for me.
I'm just happy that I, at some extent, made them happy. If you're going to ask me, if I'm sad about any of this, of course I wouldn't deny that fact. Who wouldn't be, right? It's really nice if there's really someone out there waiting for me...because it gives me hope and inspiration somehow to work hard for the future ahead ...but I guess it's just going to be dream for me, and nothing else. Wala lang, maybe it's just fate.
There's always a purpose for everything, I guess. So hey, why should I be glum? Gusto ko naman to eh dba? *big sigh*
6/8/05
IT'S NEAR
the time is near
it seems i can finally smell
the long time longing to be with u
yet amidst of it all, im scared
for when that time is reached
i will b able to see u again
in turn, ill be sad for i knw
u have someone else loving u
the way ive been loving u all my life.
but i gotta face reality
ill still tell u how i feel about u
eventhough there's no point of even telling
coz im pretty sure, whatever ill say or do
our story will never begin in a lifetime
for ur just the boy ive partnered every school dances
for ur just the boy ive played GI Joe coz ur an only child
but mostly..........
im just and will always be the new girl in school
who constantly left,
and will always be leaving ur heart empty.
SO IM NOT WORTH IT, am i?
it seems i can finally smell
the long time longing to be with u
yet amidst of it all, im scared
for when that time is reached
i will b able to see u again
in turn, ill be sad for i knw
u have someone else loving u
the way ive been loving u all my life.
but i gotta face reality
ill still tell u how i feel about u
eventhough there's no point of even telling
coz im pretty sure, whatever ill say or do
our story will never begin in a lifetime
for ur just the boy ive partnered every school dances
for ur just the boy ive played GI Joe coz ur an only child
but mostly..........
im just and will always be the new girl in school
who constantly left,
and will always be leaving ur heart empty.
SO IM NOT WORTH IT, am i?
6/6/05
CELL PHONES
an essay
People today are amazed by technology. To some people, technology has changed their outlook in life, while otheres ahve still a lot of catching up to do. One technology that has influenced mostly all people around the world is cell phones. What can I say about cell phones? They are delightful gadgets everyone has nowadays. But when cell phones actually started coming into our system, they are, as I remembered, mostly designed for important people such as ER doctors so we could reach them im emergency situations or as accessories for the rich and the famous, so they could be disturbed during their lunch hour and make an excuse to leave in the middle of a boring chitchat.
The first cell phones were truly car phones, those big antenna phones where in you really ahve to bore holes into your car to use them. It may seem so old-fashioned but when you have that 10 years ago, you're totally cool. It is funny how they quote back then that you can never have cell phones unless you lived in New York or Hollywood. But it seem to gather some point that those days, only celebrities you see on TV have cell phones. But come to think of it, their cell phones back then were as big as our battery operated house phones right now, and yet, we don't really pay much attention to that at all, all we know is that if you have cell phones those days, you are "in".
That brings us to the cell phones today. They are no longer for doctors or very important people. You go out fo your house and everyone over the age of 10 walks around with a cell phone. You get into a classroom and the teacher, instead of worryign about roll calling for attendance, makes an announcement instead " be sure all cell phones are turned off or in silent mode please or pop quiz will be enforced." Cell phones are almost like the fifth basic human needs along with food, clothing, shelter and love! They are held in our hand, clipped on our tote bags or up to our ear.. Before cell phones, families learned how to contact one another, thru mail, or thru hous telephones, and or thru pay phones. But nowadays, I couldn't actually imagine living without one. No one goes anywhere without their cell phone. When you bumped into a long lost friend out of the blue in a grocery store, you don't actually wait until you get home to share the wonderful news that a friend is in town to another friend anymore, instead the cell phone is right there just a pocket reach to make it easier.
Cell phones just make communication seem easier and versatile. But it is crazy to think that even my younger sister whose 11years old, is begging for a cell phone as a birthday gift while when I was back her age, I was still swooning over Barbie dolls and tree houses in our backyard. Sometimes, because everyone seems to be so hooked up on cell phones, people tend to lose their manners, or as we say, etiquette. It is annoying how when you are in the middle of a conference and the lecturer suddenly stopped the lecture just to answer a phone call, or a teacher having said to the students to turn off their cell phones but when her/his cell phone rings, they go ahead answer it and say it's emergency, that's when you think, is cell phones becoming a big nuisance? A big question, with no sure answers really, but one thing is certain, it will keep on coming as bigger and better technology blooms ahead for the future.
People today are amazed by technology. To some people, technology has changed their outlook in life, while otheres ahve still a lot of catching up to do. One technology that has influenced mostly all people around the world is cell phones. What can I say about cell phones? They are delightful gadgets everyone has nowadays. But when cell phones actually started coming into our system, they are, as I remembered, mostly designed for important people such as ER doctors so we could reach them im emergency situations or as accessories for the rich and the famous, so they could be disturbed during their lunch hour and make an excuse to leave in the middle of a boring chitchat.
The first cell phones were truly car phones, those big antenna phones where in you really ahve to bore holes into your car to use them. It may seem so old-fashioned but when you have that 10 years ago, you're totally cool. It is funny how they quote back then that you can never have cell phones unless you lived in New York or Hollywood. But it seem to gather some point that those days, only celebrities you see on TV have cell phones. But come to think of it, their cell phones back then were as big as our battery operated house phones right now, and yet, we don't really pay much attention to that at all, all we know is that if you have cell phones those days, you are "in".
That brings us to the cell phones today. They are no longer for doctors or very important people. You go out fo your house and everyone over the age of 10 walks around with a cell phone. You get into a classroom and the teacher, instead of worryign about roll calling for attendance, makes an announcement instead " be sure all cell phones are turned off or in silent mode please or pop quiz will be enforced." Cell phones are almost like the fifth basic human needs along with food, clothing, shelter and love! They are held in our hand, clipped on our tote bags or up to our ear.. Before cell phones, families learned how to contact one another, thru mail, or thru hous telephones, and or thru pay phones. But nowadays, I couldn't actually imagine living without one. No one goes anywhere without their cell phone. When you bumped into a long lost friend out of the blue in a grocery store, you don't actually wait until you get home to share the wonderful news that a friend is in town to another friend anymore, instead the cell phone is right there just a pocket reach to make it easier.
Cell phones just make communication seem easier and versatile. But it is crazy to think that even my younger sister whose 11years old, is begging for a cell phone as a birthday gift while when I was back her age, I was still swooning over Barbie dolls and tree houses in our backyard. Sometimes, because everyone seems to be so hooked up on cell phones, people tend to lose their manners, or as we say, etiquette. It is annoying how when you are in the middle of a conference and the lecturer suddenly stopped the lecture just to answer a phone call, or a teacher having said to the students to turn off their cell phones but when her/his cell phone rings, they go ahead answer it and say it's emergency, that's when you think, is cell phones becoming a big nuisance? A big question, with no sure answers really, but one thing is certain, it will keep on coming as bigger and better technology blooms ahead for the future.
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