Kilig Factors

Nakakatuwa c Superman, ang kaibigan kong nasa Jersey, tumawag kagabi, 11pm dito, 2am dun. Pauwi plang cya galing trabaho, naglalakad kasi 2 blocks away lang ang hospital na pinagtatrabahuan nya sa bahay ng auntie nya na dun cya kasalukuyang nakatira. Anyway, tumawag at binalitang kinikilig cya. *LAUGH MAH ASS OFF (lmao)* o db tawagan daw ba ako ng madaling araw para balitaang kinikilig cya...nawala na ang aking pagkaantok at patuloy parin ako sa pagtawa. Tumawag kasi ang matagal nya ng crush na c Lois Lane, pero hindi parin nya to pinopormahan (ewan ko ba dun), at meron lang kinwento sa kanya(ung usual chikahan ba), pero kinilig na kaagad ang mokong. hahaha. Out of the blue lang daw kasing tumawag, so parang sa kanya big deal na yun. Ang babaw noh? hehehe, pero I do understand, ganyan naman talaga tayo pag meron tayong mga crush, simple things are enough to make us fly away in lala land. *winks*

.......

I had my own kilig rin kahapon, well it was one of those uncertain weird kilig actually. A friend, who I haven't heard in a while every since that day I cancelled our meeting date in Manila last year, 7months (I know I'm sooo bad but I kinda had to coz I wasn't ready yet, you know that feeling wherein "I like it really but it's just not right?" --- that feeling.) Anyway, out of the blue, he IMed me, just this three words in cursive font with my fave color, BLUE --- "take care always"

I know that's maybe nothing but for me its more than something. We never had any connection anymore after that and so to me, this is enough to be something. I mean why would he care to IM me unexpectedly if he wasn't thinking of me even just for that moment. I was caught unaware, and it got me thinking, we did have something but I blew it away I guess. Me and my patheticness, sucks. Even my bestfriend wanted to kill me after I told her that we never met because I just somehow changed my mind. She told me it was not like me at all. She said I was always on the go for anything and she cried out loud, "You're single for goodness sake! What happened?" --hehehe I miss her and her loudness. But that's the awful truth. I'm a runner. *a heavy sigh*

Describe yourself.

Sure, our family and friends and most acquaintances can quickly describe us, but there are just some itsy-bitsy things that they wouldn't know about us right? Those things are just those random habits, mannerisms, and how you like things in a certain way(may paga-OC) hehe.

So here are mine...I think *evilish grin*

(in no particular order)

• I don't flat-out eat cakes. Anything may it be circle, square, rectangle anything that looks like cake or taste like one.. uhmm I'll pass (so don't get offended on your birthdays when I refuse or simply don't eat a piece of your birthday cake ok). Brownies are fine.
• For 5 years now, I've considered myself addicted to Starbucks, you know that Java Chip Frappuccino and Iced Caramel Macchiato w/ extra caramel. So don't be surprised if I end up having gastrointestinal complications in the later years. (and to think I'm a freakin nurse! at least I don't drink pure coffee or coffee itself.)
• I'm a shoes whore if I'm correct to say that. I love shoesssss!!!! I will go for miles away just to buy the shoes I want. And it goes with the saying, "the shoes always fit." So don't get me near a shoe store if you don't want to spend the whole day there hehe.
• I'm a sucker for korean televenovelas and pinoy teleseryes...that will make me stay home seriously *laugh out loud*
• I don't like it when people make me hurry, or rush me with just about anything. I mean, "whoa slow down yo.. " I just don't work that way. I'm not a lazy butt though, I just want it just right.
• I can be an OC -- obsessive-compulsive. I guess because I'm quite the neat freak and the organizer, I have that tendency to be nitty-gritty about some things. I kinda freak out when there's unplanned or unpredicted situations happening. But I'll be fine after that, it's just "too much caffeine in my system" as I would always say (denial wooh!)
• When I'm mad or angry or pissed or anything but happy.... I don't shout, scream, bitch or anything like that.. I CLEAN, may it be cleaning my car, the whole house, the bathroom toilet, whatever man, seriously. And I won't stop till it's spik and span clean. Ask my sister she can totally give you a heads up.
• My comfort foods are ice cream and fishball. Ice cream is when I'm sad and bored while fishball is when I'm feeling dizzy or drunk. *hick* oops excuse me.
• I dont like cooking. I know how to cook don't get me wrong, it's just that I was traumatized by it, I almost died cooking. *me and my stupidity tsk tsk* which I also know that "cooking is a way to a man's heart"--- I really don't care. I can do more than cook --- "CLEAN dummy what the heck were you thinkin! sheesh." And I believe that men are excellent cooks. I'd find one for myself instead. *here's that evilish grin again.*
• I love books...not really reading them, but collecting them. Yes, I waste some of my money over books that I just place in my shelf for display purposes. I read them alright..when I have the time. Yeah right mOieee. *rolling eyes*
• I'm NOT a social butterfly but I can ride with the flow of crowds. That's why some people see me as a "socialite (sosyal)" which is totally a wrong impression. I always laugh at this comment especially when I hear this impression from guys or families of some friends. It's not my fault I'm blessed. Even my bestfriend noticed this, it's our whole group that feels this way and we just laugh about it. If only they know how warm-hearted, go with the flow cowgirls we are. *what you don't know can't hurt you right? hehe*
• One of the guilty pleasure I have is having a rather "high" sex appeal. I mean I've been in trouble for this for quite a number of times already and I can't still arrive at a reason for my own question to myself, WHY? And HOW did that happen? When in fact I don't have the body nor the face to flaunt. Even my close friends say so. I can't do any bridging for them because it's dangerous. That's why I can only advice and as much as possible just intrude if they are in very much in need of my help. haha.
• I don't like Nursing and yet I'm a nurse. What's up with that hehe.
• I love skirts and accessories (may it be fancy why not!) coz I love being a girl..being a lady..being kikay.
• I love driving around. I can't stay at one place for the whole day. OMG I'll die. I want to see what's out there, feel the scene, be in the scene and appreciate everything around me. I may sleep alot but when I'm awake, I need to be doing something. hehe.
• I open Friendster 4 times the max in a day. Just a habit.
• I often change my mind. That's where I learn how to walk away, run away and move on. Someone who can walk with me, run beside me and move on along with me is who I'm going to spend my life with -- without a doubt. In short, someone who can handle me and my mess.
• I enjoy acting dorky, and acting like a baby. Just a simple regression for being the eldest in the family. *winks*

I can go on and on with who I am but it's also how people respond that I can totally be myself. I'm always told to be the good girl..the smart one..the one likely to succeed..the doctor..

The truth is, I'm neither. I'm not all good, I'm selective-smart, I'm not contented and stable yet and I'm a musician, a writer, a daydreamer not a doctor or other big time professions. Well ok so I'm a nurse, yey!

And at the end of the day, I will always be mOieee, the filam girl who used to play piko in her lola's farm in the province, who's excellent in jackstone competition. who always have pigtails and braids hairdo up until highschool, who belts out every Literary Musical and Prisaa and who always have a face that says, "GAME ON."

Gawd, I miss her.

Dinagyang the Aftermath

Since I wasn't there to see the whole festivity of Iloilo's finest "DINAGYANG", I'd like to share this post from my friend instead. CHECK THIS OUT!

I still wished I was there. hehe.

Better Late Ika Nga

Ay I just heard from a friend that there was a BLOG PARTEEH '07 yesterday held in Manila. Man...if only I was in Manila, I surely attended. I read some of the blog posts from different bloggers who went yesterday and boy, was I jelly. Love those meet and greet kind of events, eventhough I'm not a social butterfly myself. I just love crowds and new-found friendships. Not that I'm in desperate need of friends, coz I've got tons who I have a hard time catching up with, but you know it's a party, I love parties hehe.

Hope I can attend next time Abe!!! Congrats for the successful event!

mOieee wake up!

Dinagyang na sa Iloilo!!! Happy Dinagyang to my friends there!!! I wish I was there to celebrate such a wonderful festivity coz it's been a long time, hindi na mabilang hehe.

Anyway, I have this big examination coming up next week. And I think I'm anxious as hell, and when I do get anxious, I can't concentrate on studying for it. The result of that examination is my ticket to a good vacation this year. You see I live in a "work hard & reward" kind of mentality. I work hard for something and I would do anything and then after I get it I reward myself, may it be a vacation, a party and/or material things. Yeah you're thinking I'm like a kindergarten wherein I get reward when I do something good huh. Well more or less that's kinda the idea behind my mentality but I mix it with the phrase "LIFE IS DAMN SHORT." and what better way to live it than this. What's the purpose of working very hard for something and then at the end you'll be miserable pa rin db? Like why bother, it will defeat the whole purpose. And it's nice to have a reward of some sort coz it's a motivation to myself to do good and make it.

We all have our own ways of motivating ourselves. This is just mine.. my insanity hehehe.

Wish me luck! As one of my fave mentors, Mrs. Udan, would say to those students who sleeps all the time,

"Knowledge based from books doesn't move through the processes of diffusion and osmosis."

Now where's my caramel macchiato? hmm..

Lapit na!

Barbie is just around the corner! Kitakits tayo there! I like Barbie eventhough I know she's kinda ordinary for some people. She doesn't have the greatest voice in the Philippine music industry but she rocks it out anyhow. She is now happily married and she thanks everyone who supported.

For more information on where to get tickets please click on the picture/banner to enlarge it.

Support Filipino Talents!

Rockin For Ely!

"LivELY - A Fundraising Concert for the Benefit of ELY BUENDIA"

Sunday, Jan. 28, 2007 @ Eastwood Central Plaza Eastwood City, Libis, QC
(first band starts @ 4pm)

featuring perfomances by:
RIVERMAYA
FRANCISM
PAROKYA NI EDGAR
KAMIKAZEE
ITCHYWORMS
SPONGECOLA
CHICOSCI
UPDHARMADOWN
TRUEFAITH
RAZORBACK
CIUDAD
CYNTHIA ALEXANDER
SALINDIWA
JOIN THE CLUB
DICTA LICENSE
TEETH
GREYHOUNDZ
MOONSTAR 88
PARAMITA
MAKATHA
SWISSY
OPPRESS
JULIANNE

tune in to Magic 89.9 for updates
.......

this is technically a "free" show but PLS BRING CASH DONATIONS! pls spread the word & the love!

our heartfelt thanks sa lahat ng pupunta! (from the Fil-Am Bands here in California)
.......

here's a Video recap of what happened to the former E-heads vocalist, Ely Buendia (brought to you by GMA News)

Sunshine

Your simple calls makes me want you more
This obsession I simply can't ignore.

Mutual understanding beyond compare
We always have laughs to share.

My day couldn't be any more brighter
Just hearing your voice makes me shiver.

A ray of sunlight you are to me
Though your far I'll let it be.

To someone who's making my life less lonely.

Thanks CG!

Febuary is fast approaching. And yet alot of people don't even "date" anymore -----the more fast growing terms would be "hang out," "hook up," and sometimes even the term "let's eat," right? Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, welcome to the modern world people! This isn't actually like those days wherein a guy courts inside the girl's house, and especially not those days wherein a guy should help around the chores of the girl's home in order to get approval from the parents. Today, most of the couples just surprise their parents if ya know what I mean! *winks*

So if ya want to get into the hype...well ya better listen up coz you might just learn a tip or two.

Dating Rule #1: Never let him know you like him.
Flirt with him sure, but don't reveal everything yet. Take it one step at a time. And then when you're sure he's into you, that's the time you widen your stride. Don't pretend to be uninterested for too long coz he might get confuse and let go.

Dating Rule #2: Don't listen to your friends' opinions.
This is a tricky rule, believe me I know. When you like a guy who's too dorky, or who's a little over the top for your friends but is sweet and sensitive to you, go with your gut and don't listen to them. Now here's the tricky part....if more than one friend says the same description/opinion about the guy you like, there must really be something worth checking out, so hear them out. Afterall they are your friends, and in matters of the heart, they may be right.

Dating Rule #3: You can hook up whenever you feel like it.
If you feel like kissing a guy because he's a totally hottie, omigod go right on ahead as long as you have no intentions looking to start a relationship and he isn't either and neither of you is "taken" then why not. But if this hooking up becomes a casual thing (happening over and over with same guy) well, try to ask yourself, "where is this leading me?" Where do we go from here?" coz that girlfriend, isn't just hooking up anymore, you might be developing feelings with this guy and so does he. Talk it out before both of you get hurt of what you're about to go into.

Dating Rule #4: Never text, call, e-mail or IM him first.
Old fashion? Never. We can never get the thing most guys have which is, "superiority" but they like it when they feel that they've worked hard to get you. So they like to call, text, e-mail or IM you first as much as possible so let them. Don't argue anymore, we just have to admit that's one example of how the male specie hunts. It's a good thing to know as well, that he makes these efforts first, at least you'll know he's worth it! But if a guy is quite shy...you may need to send a little signal without being the least darting to the male ego or you'll risk waiting forever!

So learned anything today? I bet you did coz I did. Just remember, don't be too overly serious about these stuff. Show your fun side for a change. Live a little, ayt? *winks*

Being Idle

Another one of those idiopathic insomnia days...I decided to change the skin and tone of my site. A new year...a new mood. I'm feeling the brighter days of today so out with the black and in with the clean, eye-pleasing colors. hahaha! I've been using black for quite some time already(gothic!) and I feel that as much as I needed a change for myself personally, I want everything around me to change for a brighter and better year as well.

Not that I am expecting too much, actually I'm not expecting anything anymore. I just go with the flow...but somehow deep inside me, I believe this is my year of life-changing moments. So as I bring brightness to everyone, I hope to bring lighter brighter days to my everyday. But of course I will still keep on ranting above LOVE stuff, 'cause that's where my forte is so I can't do away with that. And besides, Love is what colors our world, whatever the color may be. hahaha!

So how's the start of this year for you? Pretty good? Pretty busy? Pretty confusing? hahaha! It's only the beginning people. Wait till we progess into the middle, coz if ya ask me, I can already quite foresee...that mine will be a BUMPY RIDE! hahaha! The bumpy good kind I hope. *winks*

Once in A While..

Somebody once told me that: "Finding the right person is very hard and very wrong... it is best to be the right person for the one you love and start from there...you'll always end up disappointed when you set standards and define a "right person" for you...and don't rush things coz somewhere somehow God is preparing somebody for you."Don't be in a hurry to get into a relationship because you can never find love if you insist that you are already into it. Try to find time to really understand your real feelings, to know who you really are, and what you really want in a relationship.You're right, there's no such thing as a perfect relationship, but there's a compatible partnership that goes along with it. If you already knew that you're too big to fit into a small sized t-shirt, don't give it a try. You'll probably break it and pay for the damages you have made.


If you knew and felt that the relationship will not last, don't go deeper into it. You'll just suffer the consequences and live like hell for the rest of your life.It's really hard to say goodbye though, but you can't make it any better by just pretending you still have the same feelings. Try to let go and give yourself a chance to live life to the fullest. Give yourself a chance to grow and give your heart a much-needed attention. Then you will find that you have made the right decision and you made it all by yourself.


We call it love when we can't leave someone and see them crying as we try to let go. We are wrong, it's just pity. We call it love when we're too attached and think that losing the one we love will somehow make us weak and unable to face the storms of life. We misunderstood... it's just that we're too much dependent on them.


We call it love when we give our whole life to them, the wholeness of us and imagined that if they leave, no one would accept us and our past. We are mistaken, its just insecurity. But no matter what the definition is, the truth still remains that love isn't something you can buy or beg. It is real and existing. You can't touch it but you can feel it in your heart. You can't find it, but it will knock before you when you least expect it to come. It can make you the happiest soul in heaven, but don't forget that it can also make you the most miserable person in the whole galaxy...

Glad you're all OK

Yippeee...salamat naman at nagparamdam na ang mga bloggista friends ko. Ang bilis nga ng turnout eh, bilib ako naaalala parin pla nila ako (mga ganitong gestures, OK na ang araw ko masaya na ako.) Kala ko iniwan na nila akong nagiisa sa mundong mapaglaro. Salamat kathie, ms fye and keloyd! At least I know you all are doing ok naman wherever u may be. Alam nyo namang I cannot function not reading your blogs and hearing from you.

Hindi ako maka2log...and it's already 2:30am. I have some things in my mind that arebugging my restful sleep. Kaya senxa na hanggang dito na muna tong post na to, binabati ko lang ang aking mga bloggista friends....kasi nagparamdam sila. SALAMAT TALAGA! Masyadong mababaw ang aking kaligayahan when it comes to friendship, and this is how online friendship works. hehe.

Mamaya na ako magpopost ng what's bugging me ha, I have to give clarity to my mind first. Later alligator!

Breaking the Habit

I like her but I love you. She wants me but I don't know what I'd do without you. But if you ask me who, it's always been you. .

ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TRIPPIN?! Nasabihan na ba kayo ng saying na eto at one point or another? Nakakaloka noh? Sobra as in talaga. It's a crazy thought indeed but it can happen in a person. Hindi mo matatawag na confuse ang taong eto kasi alam nya kung ano ang nafefeel nya pero parang ang labo nga lang diba?

ANYWAYZ... in the lighter side of day,

I had lunch with my older friend awhile ago. She added me in friendster and saw my primary photo with a guy. Kala nya boyfriend ko daw, eh I told her he's my bestbud. She is one of the few people who always keeps on asking me when will I have a boyfriend or if I ever want one...hahaha, she told me she got married 24 yrs old kasi and she went on lecturing na it's best to marry and have a child before age 30 like I wasn't aware of it. Kasi as nurses you hear this speech na once you bear your first child after age 30 at risk for complications na daw yun. Pero depende parin sa nagdadala.

Sagot ko naman sa kanya na saka na muna pag alam ko na kung ano ba talaga ang dapat kong gawin sa buhay ko coz until now, I feel like I'm not contented of anything. I feel like I haven't found my calling yet. I guess that's what I get from having a history of "excessive moving" during childhood. I never stayed in a place for quite a span of years. I have been to many different places, I have learned to speak different set of languages and I have met countless set of friends and have kept most of them near with constant communication. Not only did I named my blog as "Little Ms. Traveler" because I love traveling, but it's also because I have this "Lock and Key" - "Open and Close" - in my dialect "Hukas-hukas Ulo" behavior. One day I plan to do this, the next day maybe I have another plan and I can totally change everything in just a click of a finger(as fast as that). That's why it has become into a bad habit na nga minsan coz I sometimes jeopardize my relationships with other people because of this. I have a natural way of letting go, and running away that can drive my friends and family nuts! Only the persistent ones survive. But I know how to control this madness naman..sometimes it's just my shield factor because I don't want the feeling of hurt. Coz I think HURT is one of the major factors that pushed this attitude into a habit.

So people listen up and I quote one of my gay friend who was with me that night when I had the life changing moment in my life, he said, "Don't ever be deceived by the sweetness of a person. Coz sometimes the sweetest person in the world can change the entire course of the future."

And I couldn't agree more.

Newsweekend

I received a good news, a bad news and a weird news today. So where do I start?

I guess I'll start with the bad news... My friend's grandmother died yesterday from cardiac arrest. I feel so sad because my lola(grandma) in the PI isn't doing well either. Finding out this news today broke my heart and made me think of my lola too. My prayers go out to my friend's family and may Nanay(my friend's grandma) rest in peace. And to please pray for my lola as well, Get well soon La!

Now off to the good news... I just found out that another of my countless friends got married! Gosh it made me feel OLD already, which I am needless to say but you know how we love to deny right? hehehe. It also made me think well, I still don't have a freakin' boyfriend and people are already getting married, what a sad picture! Sooo funny! *winks* Oh well SOME HEARTS JUST GET LUCKY SOMETIMES.

You can't wait to read the weird news isn't it? Well I won't say it just yet, it might get jinx if i mentioned this now. But it was an intriguing news to me and I was caught unaware because it was my mom who opened up the topic and more or less if I wasn't mistaken, encouraging me that it is a possibility why not. HAHAHA! I bet you want to choke me right now for not telling this news. Secret na lang muna. I called it weird because first it was my mom, my number one instigator in all of my decision because "Mom knows best", who suggested it and second, I called it weird because I wasn't really thinking about it until now. But let me see first in 2 to 3weeks time if this news ain't going to be jinxed and will push through, then I will tell you.

Overall, today was an OK day. So I'll leave you my choice quote for the week:

We love because it's the only true adventure.

As I lay myself to sleep...

I find it hard to write blogs these days coz school is finally back. And to talk about school is *ahem* boring. So why am I in school again?!?! Ahh..to further my education as I always say hehe.

Anyway, I decided to lurk around my friends' blogs last night and then I found out that Kathie had temporarily suspended her Random Mundane, Fye's Cracked Knuckles was nowhere to be found and Keloyd's still being Keloyd, no signs of him. I miss the chikahan galore. Blogness monsters where art thou go? At least Lib is still having a Nice Day. I guess everything in life truly is temporary as what Kathie said. But I tend not to linger too much on that subject eventhough I am always in that bubble.

I am caught in another one of my million dilemmas wherein as good as I am in advicing about it, when I'm the one experiencing it, it seems all so wrong and not as I want it to be. Hayyy... By the way, I watched the Smallville episode "Justice" last night and it was the bomb! To those who didn't tune in, well you are missing heck of a lot of more dramas hahaha. Me and my so-called dramas. Anyway, my personal fave character in that tv series is Chloe Sullivan, played by Allison Mack. Dang this girl....really knows how to play her game eventhough she always ends up getting hurt at the end or probably can never really express how she truly love Clark Kent because she would never ever (I guess) risk Friendship and Trust. Ouch!

Actually FYI, I am not really a fanatic of Smallville frankly speaking but I kinda know where each of the characters stand that if I were to watch just one episode or two of the series I can more or else get what everyone is up to. Hehehe...probably because my mind full of dramas. I can relate.

Chloe as the Watchtower -- keeper of the greatest story, of the true love hidden for the sake of friendship. (I can very much relate to that!)

Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.

I hate to hold back.

But it's seems like the right thing to do.

What will be..will be

Realizations hit me again last weekend. Subject on letting go. Yes letting go. Some people do tend to not let go and risk being hurt. They'd rather get hurt and live with the pain than take a step back and go somewhere else where they can be more happier. But no, they tend to stay because the more complicated the more they want to be in the situation. Weird right? And here I am always running away when things get so overly complicated. Hehe it's nice to actually know and see someone who has a different perspective than I have. I used to be the type of person who runs away everytime I get caught up with dilemmas of the heart because I don't want to get hurt anymore. I easily fall in love and I easily fall out of love before and I can't be that same person, vulnerable and gullible anymore. I've learned a lot and to learn a lot sometimes bring hesitating moments when love knocks on my door again. I just want someone who won't hurt me for once, coz I'm tired of being hurt because I know and feel that I deserve better.

So anyway, I'm one of those friendster freaks who constantly change profiles and musics and medias...blah blah blah! As I came to the part where it says 'Who I Want To Meet' instead of writing friends like most people do I placed this:

i wanna meet some1 who can smile and laugh with me, who's not afraid to choose a stand and take a chance, whom i can trust in good and bad times, who's not afraid to act dorky and silly, who has a good sense of humor, who simply won't get tired of me and what we have, who will always be there, who loves watching the setting sun with me, who loves traveling around, who knows how to have a good time and be laid-back and lazy, who's understanding and respectful, who's dedicated to making life better, who's determined to reach his goals, who knows how to dream, who never gives up easily, who would return and reciprocate the love given to him, who will be a fellow hopeless romantic, whom i can easily talk to and is not afraid to show emotions, whom i can just spend the best and worse days of my life with no pretentions and worries and lastly but never the least, who can say the phrase, "I LOVE YOU" and really means it.

Hayy where art thou?

Now this is WINTER baby!

Snowboarding was loads of fun!!! Thanks to the arctic cold temperatures, it snowed in the mountains at last. Talk about late winter season hehe. Most of the people here in Cali where at the mountains I think coz damn the mountain resorts were packed with anxious people waiting for their turn to ride the snow lifts to take them at the top of mountains and start from there. Me and my friends didn't even had the chance to ride the lifts because the line was so long! So we decided to walk up the mountains instead (crazy mind we have huh hehe). It was tiring and cold. At the end of the afternoon my butt was sore from my inability to stop the board. grrr..frustratingly FUN! I had a great time even though at the end of the day I can barely move my body hehehe, i just sat still at the back of my friend's car as we drove home.

Lost in Translation

At the mention of her name
UR heart sore high.
At the sound of her voice
UR ears hear every single word.
At the sight of her face
UR eyes can see no other.
At the touch of her hand
UR feelings grow stronger than ever.
At the thought of her whole being
UR complete.

And yet U know she's not URS.
And yet U know UL be hurt.
And yet U know she will get hurt.

But U really like her.
But U enjoy every second of each other.
But U are bound to get hurt.
But U can't let go.

We can always analyze and overanalyze.
We can draw so many conclusions.
We can endlessly hear advices of pros and cons.
We can formulate solutions.

Yet we can never totally understand:
how Love begins,
how Love is done,
how Love truly ends.

Yet we risk.
And love.
And suffer.

Hmm..funny how I fell for you when it's too complicated to even think about it.

But I like it.

I like the complication it brings.

A challenge, maybe.

OR it's just going to be another one of those anticipated pain.

Shit.

My Random Throwbacks

THROWBACKS are words, phrases and/or sentences in mOieee's vocabulary that are mostly at the back of my head wanting to say them to person(s) but never really said them verbally for fear of humiliation, rejection, utter disgust and worse...realizations.

Why do I still continue to hope when I'm already hurting.

You are so near yet it feels like you're never here.

I know you like her but she's not the only one left in this world wanting to gain experiences with you.

Everytime I try to stop myself from falling for you, you make it even more harder for me to stop.

Those tiny little thoughtful things you do makes it even more difficult not to admit that I do like you more than you know.

I don't like this feeling I'm feeling for you. It weirds me out yet I can't resist sometimes. grrr.

Know that even though I have feelings for you, I won't let it jeopardize our friendship because I can tell that we are never going to be more than just friends.

I lose. She wins. You win. Ouch!

It's fun giving advices, it masks my own dilemmas and sometimes I learn from what I advice. Sometimes I surprise myself.

Damn. Why you? Arrrgggghhhhh....

Why Lie?

Why is it that you have to lie to somebody you like about some parts of your life? When it's too obvious that you are lying anyway.

Some people take me for granted; take my abilities and knowledge for granted. Akala nila porket mabait ako, understanding, at may mukhang hindi makabasag pinggan eh I don't know if they are lying to me or fooling me. Aba malakas ata ang pang amoy nito and I'm almost always sure of my intuitions.

Ba't kasi ang ibang tao dyan nahihirapan magpakatotoo. Umamin, at aminin. Malay mo maiintindihan ka naman at tatanggapin ka pa rin. Sa akin lang, mas gugustuhin ko pangharap-harapan mong aminin, for example...na mahal mo pa rin siya at ayaw mong bumitaw ng hawak sa kanya para sa isang gusto mo kasi natatakot ka at baka mauwi lng naman sa wala---eh tanong ko lang noh, kung mahal mo pa siya eh bakit ka may ibang minamahal?

Ang labo pag ganon tsong! Can't you stand up for your own decision para naman hindi ka makasakit ng damdamin. Malay mo, yung gusto mong iba eh meron plang feelings sa iyo o have fallen for you, eh ano namang magagawa ng tao eh taken ka? Alangan namang pagsisik-sikan nya ang sarili nya sa alam naman nyang talo cya o mauuwi lang din sa kawalan.

Alam nyo kung I'm in your shoes at meron akong dilemmang tulad nyan, doon na ako sa nagmamahal sa akin (someone who loves me) rather than doon sa minamahal ko (someone I love) pwera na lang kung yung minamahal ko eh mahal din pla ako eh di masaya! dba. Bat d mo na lng kaya tanungin ang gusto mo kung same din ang nararamdaman nya pra sayo at kung same nga naman, EDI MAMILI KA TSONG! MAKE A FRIGGIN DECISION. Wag mong pahirapan ang sarili mo at lalo na ang taong gusto mo (esp kung alam nya na TAKEN ka tapos meron kang feeling sa kanya----parang ehhlooo???)

Hay magpakatotoo ka nga! Pinapagod moko eh.

The NO-NO's we ladies havta learn for ourselves

Listen up suckers! We women ain't going to tolerate your crap! (I esp. love #3..based from personal experience hmp!)

1. He Has Not Called You

If you gave him your telephone number, your email address, your pager number and you have not heard from him, he does not wish to speak with you. No matter how often you pick up the telephone to check the dial tone, as long as the phone bill has been paid everything is in working order. If spam continues to clutter your inbox, but no love not from your would be sweetie, your email is fine, he just hasn’t hit the send button.

2. You Must Always Call Him

This tip is an addendum to the aforementioned tip. If whenever you call he says that he is busy and, he didn’t have time to call you read the writing on the wall. There are 24 hours in a day, and if a man is interested he will make time to call you. If it’s at work, before, in the car before work, or in bed before he goes to sleep at night. Trust and believe that if he is really into you, there is nothing sweeter than the sound of your voice at any time of the day.

If you have called and left a message or two, or ten, and he has not returned your call, assume that he doesn’t know what a catch you are and simply move on.

3. He Has Not Mentioned Commitment

Unfortunately, many women make the mistake of becoming intimate with a man in hopes of turning a physical relationship into a more permanent and serious endeavor. If the word commitment has not been mentioned, take it as an indication that it has not been discussed for a reason.

The best thing to do would be to take some time, and learn from the experience. Read Cosmopolitan, hang out with friends, go to the gym. In short, anything but call him. That 2 months wasted on him, is 2 months that you will never get back. It is also a time when you could be meeting the real man of your dreams.

(snip & snap Cosmopolitan)

Cge na Pls

I didn't know washing my car was going to be heck exhausting! I didn't know til this afternoon when I FINALLY washed my car (hehehe *evilish grin*). Yup by myself no doubt and I had to do it to get my mom off my back, she's been nagging me to clean it phew! It wasn't my first time washing my car, but I usually clean my car with dad. But everybody was busy this week SO...I had no choice but to do it by myself, KUDOS for me YEY! At first, it felt draggy to me but I had to do it anyway so I just put on some upbeat playlist from my Ipod and worked my way through it all. And yah know what, I kinda had fun at the end, especially the part where I had to throw away those trash papers and stuffs. Bring back memories some of them, those parking tickets of our usually hang outs with my best ghurls, our random road trips ahhh I miss those days..I don't see them often anymore, we are all busy so to speak. But we still constantly talk on the phone though which is good and therapeutic to our busy lives, if you still can call it a life hehe.

Anyway, my friend from Jersey is coming here in Cali this Thursday, I'm sooo excited to see him! He's like one of the closest friends I have here in US, we are friends in the Philippines but we became more close here in US. So I'm looking forward to this weekend woohoo! Pictures, Strolls and Laugh trips again! I need those totally. I feel so exhausted(not just from cleaning my car hehe ok!) but just for these last 2 weeks. I've been studying for this one examination I have to take this February and I'm quite sick of it actually hehe. SO I DO NEED SOME LITTLE VACATION before I hit the books again. I don't really function well when I push and push myself into something borrinngg hehe, but I really need to pass it though. =D

(mood: listening to Juana "Misbehavior" album's CGE NA PLEASE song) >>btw, this band is pretty good, I like their songs, KUDOS for them! (now singing: Cge na please cge please pakinggan mo naman ako, dati pa man dati pa man ako'y inlab sayo) >>oops got lil carried away my bad hehe!

FInally!

I found it hard to host my numerous photos at Wordpress so I decided to switch back to Blogspot. (Ms. Fye, I'm sorry but you need to change the link again for my photo site hehe) Anyway... I have posted new pictures from the Aquarium of the Pacific and some of my old photos.

Feel free to check on it because everytime I travel, I will definitely won't fail to update that site for photos and more photos. I love digital photography as much as writing so I hope you would visit it as often as you visit my homepage. Thanks for the support bloggers! Keep blogging.

CLICK here: Oh SNAP it!

and/or you can find my works at MY DEVIANTART home but I only post "what I think is best" photos I have so far in this site.

Ey, Don't forget to comment on your fave photos to the links above OK!

My 2006 Recap

As the year 2006 ended, I'd say for the most parts, it was a good year. Good in a sense that I've reached and accomplished my target things to do, see and enjoy.

- I've finished my Microbiology.

- I reached my target size of 6(from an 8)

- I fell in love with these reality shows: Project Runway and Top Chef; tv series: Grey's Anatomy and Heroes.

- I went back to the Philippines for the first time in 5years. Finally!

- I went to Baguio for the very first time since birth.

- I went back to California unattached, woohhhh thank God!(hehe)

- I went to Cali's capital, Sacramento.

- I went to New York and New Jersey and met up with my elem buddies, Abby and Lence.

- I almost gave up on my current science degree in Nursing.

- I almost hooked up with an almost married man. (yikes not good hehe)

- I went to Arizona and visited 5 major cities (Grand Canyon, Flagstaff, Sedona, Phoenix and Scottsdale).

Wow I just noticed, I did a bunch of travelling this year. Oh well, this site should account for something right? And I just didn't make up the name Little Miss Traveler for nothing hehe. I am a busy body; not much of a talker but I definitely can write no doubt; not much of a partygirl but I can travel as heck.

Let's see where this year will take me! Ciao for now!