Breaking the Habit

I like her but I love you. She wants me but I don't know what I'd do without you. But if you ask me who, it's always been you. .

ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TRIPPIN?! Nasabihan na ba kayo ng saying na eto at one point or another? Nakakaloka noh? Sobra as in talaga. It's a crazy thought indeed but it can happen in a person. Hindi mo matatawag na confuse ang taong eto kasi alam nya kung ano ang nafefeel nya pero parang ang labo nga lang diba?

ANYWAYZ... in the lighter side of day,

I had lunch with my older friend awhile ago. She added me in friendster and saw my primary photo with a guy. Kala nya boyfriend ko daw, eh I told her he's my bestbud. She is one of the few people who always keeps on asking me when will I have a boyfriend or if I ever want one...hahaha, she told me she got married 24 yrs old kasi and she went on lecturing na it's best to marry and have a child before age 30 like I wasn't aware of it. Kasi as nurses you hear this speech na once you bear your first child after age 30 at risk for complications na daw yun. Pero depende parin sa nagdadala.

Sagot ko naman sa kanya na saka na muna pag alam ko na kung ano ba talaga ang dapat kong gawin sa buhay ko coz until now, I feel like I'm not contented of anything. I feel like I haven't found my calling yet. I guess that's what I get from having a history of "excessive moving" during childhood. I never stayed in a place for quite a span of years. I have been to many different places, I have learned to speak different set of languages and I have met countless set of friends and have kept most of them near with constant communication. Not only did I named my blog as "Little Ms. Traveler" because I love traveling, but it's also because I have this "Lock and Key" - "Open and Close" - in my dialect "Hukas-hukas Ulo" behavior. One day I plan to do this, the next day maybe I have another plan and I can totally change everything in just a click of a finger(as fast as that). That's why it has become into a bad habit na nga minsan coz I sometimes jeopardize my relationships with other people because of this. I have a natural way of letting go, and running away that can drive my friends and family nuts! Only the persistent ones survive. But I know how to control this madness naman..sometimes it's just my shield factor because I don't want the feeling of hurt. Coz I think HURT is one of the major factors that pushed this attitude into a habit.

So people listen up and I quote one of my gay friend who was with me that night when I had the life changing moment in my life, he said, "Don't ever be deceived by the sweetness of a person. Coz sometimes the sweetest person in the world can change the entire course of the future."

And I couldn't agree more.