The Point Is?

I'm sad today, kinda moody in a way because as I got to school around 7am, I received a text from mom that she can't attend my capping ceremony this 26th of Sept becoz dad said it was due to financial insufficiency. I feel bad for her too becoz last year till earlier this year she kept babbling about going home to attend this event by hook or by crook. And she even took a leave of absence already, but dad's final word to both of us was, "NO."

I wanted to cry when I read the text messages I got from both of them, one from mom telling me to convince dad, and i tried convincing afterwards, and then another text from dad, telling me that as much as he wanted to let mom go, there's not enough budget for the trip and promised that they would all be home to attend my graduation 2 years from now. I'm mad in an unselfish way becoz I knew that we had a lot of expenses these past few months, especially from the passing of my grandmother last May of this year, and the many expenses from the hospital bills as well.

It's just that I feel so bad. This is one of the important events that's going to happen in my darn life and neither of them is going to be a part of it. I know that I'm too old to be emotional on things such as this since I'm already a 2nd courser anyway right? But your wrong, as much as I don't want to admit it but all this, I owe so much from them. This whole thing started from a very serious arguement and I gambled in order to get where I am now.

Oh well, but dad only says things once and all are final. I understand, I can always feel the insufficiency, living everyday wherein money seems to just vanish in minutes. Heck I don't even have an allowance anymore, unlike before. Now, I budget everything tightly, sometimes wishing I have some left for myself. I can't blame dad nor mom nor the past events that brought about this. I know if we had enough, I'm pretty sure mom will be here in a jiffy.

But tables turn sometimes. And right now, it's not siding me nor us.

I'm just glad to get by somehow. Coz in this kind of problem, I'm so sure people whom I've helped in this kind of problem turned their backs on me when I asked for it at some point, so why bother.