Holiday Get Together

Visited Ria and Ben's new home, it was nice to see my friends again. We all have been busy and they have kids so you know how that works right? haha. Good thing, we all agreed to have a get together post xmas party tonight. And as a house warming gift, I gave Ria a house clock, which I am glad they don't have any clocks yet.

Nakakamiss lang tong mga bading kong friends. We spend less and less time coz life is already keeping up with us. They are growing old na, with family and kids, while me? Staying pretty pa din with being single and happy. LOL. Oh well, okay lang yan, susunod na ako pag ready na. For now, career muna. Aysus!

Singing High Praises to the Lord

Simbang Gabi tonight was a success! Praise God for this awesome festivity. It's just this once in a year event were you get to say, "Andami palang Filipinos dito sa city na ito" coz you don't get to see them often on normal days. Haha! There was a salo-salo food gathering but me and my family just skipped that coz there were too many people there, very crowded. And you know my dad, he doesn't like crowded. :) Thank you Lord for the opportunity to sing your praises  in a church choir. I hope this won't be the last time I'd be joining this fil-am choir. God bless those wonderful people. And thank you Ate Gina for pushing us to what our voices are capable. It was a challenge to be an alto singer, when I've always sung soprano parts. Awesome!

Don't give up on love. Because, there's always someone who loves you, even if it means waiting. ♥

Staying Strong on Tough times

I watched the personal one-on-one interview of Miss Kc Concepcion on the Buzz yesterday and I commend her for being strong enough to face the truth once and for all. I can totally relate because I too, have been in that situation wherein I have given my all, taking time to understand things even if it was hard enough already, and for always giving the benefit of the doubt to every single thing.

Masyado akong nagbigay ng benefit of the doubt sa lahat.

Hindi ako ang kailangan nya. Hindi ako ang hinahanap nya.

Those above sentences were what Kc said on the interview that struck me the most. After watching the interview, I remembered my ex again and it still hurts to think about the relationship that we had. I haven't even told everybody at home that we are not together anymore but I think even if I don't say anything they would have noticed it if they are very observant. I don't want to love someone to whom I have to exert my own efforts just to make our relationship work, and I don't want to love someone to the extent of giving him everything but receiving little in return.

Sometimes, it is easier to just say I have fallen out of love, and found someone new to avoid any more questions but that is not the case here. God knows how I love him very much. That I am willing to do everything for the both of us. And I know he knows I love him BUT I just cannot tolerate being in a relationship with him anymore because of reasons I don't want to say to protect his dignity. I have given him chances beyond imaginable but he still blew it. And for what I learned from countless break-ups, is that I have to leave some love for myself. I cannot force someone to love me the way I want him to if he, himself, doesn't want to love and sacrifice little things for me.

Living Without You

I keep looking in all the places,
Where you are supposed to be.
But I never seem to find you,
And you're all I long to see.

I just can't seem to understand,
What it was that changed your mind.
All this time I thought I knew you,
When really, I was blind.

But know that I do not hate you,
And I know I never will.
Because I cared about you then,
And I cared about you still.

Even though you hurt me,
I can't seem to let you go.
But I will go on without you,
And I want to make sure you know.

It will take some time to mend,
The damage that you've done.
But broken hearts do heal,
That's where strength comes from.

For now, the tears may be falling,
And my thoughts keep circling to you.
But soon, things will get better,
If you have hope, then they always do.

*I dedicate this to FRIENDS who had their hearts broken once or too many in life; to FRIENDS who had broken countless hearts in this lifetime; and to FRIENDS who had overcome heartbreaks that led them to have a blissful journey of love now.*

my new addiction ♥

It's easier to just say you have moved on with someone else even if it's just a lie, than explain to people why it didn't work.

GRRR!

Why Do I Love Him?

Why do I love him?
Tough question.
I don’t even know how or where to begin;
I’m not sure if I could possibly find the right words to express
What or how much I feel for him.
Let alone explain why I love him.

Why do I love him? I guess I just do.
I love him because He is the most incredible, the most amazing guy I have ever known in my entire life
I love him because he’s sweet, he’s smart and witty, and has a great sense of humor.
I love him because he’s so cool...it makes him hot!
I love him because he makes me smile.

I love him because he’s the only guy who has ever made it through my wall and seen right through my mask.
I love him because he accepts the real me...imperfections and all but still appreciates me for who I am.

I love him for being a friend.
I love him because I could be whatever, whoever I want to be in front of him.
I love him because we could talk about everything under the sun
I love him because we are comfortable with each other and I feel safe when I am with him
I love him for giving me a helping hand when I had to pick myself up, but couldn’t;
I love him for offering his shoulder for me to lean on to when I had to be strong, but wasn’t
I love him for always making me feel better…about myself, about life in general
I love him for making me feel special.
But most of all, I love him for making me realize that I am capable of feeling this way and this much for someone.
I love him for making me feel alive.

So why do I love him?
I love him because he’s all these and more.
So much more.
I love him because he’s everything…
Everything but mine.

xoxo

Folio

My rush pro bono project portfolio for a car company ad :)

Now it's time to sleep coz it's way past midnight and I have lots more to do in the morning. Lights out! zzzzZZZ

Disneyland Confirmed!

Just got the reservation confirmation from Walt Disney Travel Co, and so finally I get to go with my family to Disneyland after 6 years!!! I can't wait to enjoy the magical world where everyone is a kid again. It's a 2-day park hopper too so I get to go to California Adventure at the same time as well. Oh wow, I'm excited but don't tell my siblings! sssshhHHH! hahah! At least I have something to look forward to for this week. It has been a rough start for the month of November so I hope to be cheered up by Mickey and friends this weekend. :)

God understands our prayers even when we can't find the words to say them.

Daylight Saving Time

Yes!!! Extra hour of sleep, as if! lol! Don't forget Daylight Saving Time ends at 2am so set clocks an hour back before you sleep tonight.

I worked so hard and yet somehow, I still lost it all.

Starting from scratch again.

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged here. If you are following me on twitter you must guessed why. Whew sorry about that! I am just not in a blogging mode right now because of everything sad and bad going on in my life. I wish to vanish but I know its not going to do me any good anyway. So I am starting over again and hoping by this time, I can already get the hang of things. I can only hope that God will give me the courage and strength to withstand this endeavor one more time. I will not give up because I wasn’t born a quitter. SO WISH ME LUCK! :)

I just wish someone would be man enough to stay in my life, not just in my heart.

Wedding news.

I received a lot of wedding news this week. Those getting married next year like my cousin Irene and my friend Gilbert here in Cali and and another recently updated on the wedding buzz, is my good friend Joseph and his fiance in Cebu. Oh and for some reason both couples mentioned decided on JULY 2012. There's also a sad news from a good friend of mine in Singapore who cancelled her wedding for February 2012 because her fiance broke up with her. tsk.tsk. tsk. freakin' bastard! Although she said that it was mostly her fault, still I hated the guy for breaking my friend's heart like that. I really don't like the idea of committing and then afterwards if your at the tip of a new chapter everything falls apart. And that is probably why I am single. LOL. It's not that I am scared to commit. I'm just scared of committing to a wrong person again. Just guarding my patched-up heart that's all. Well to the my friends who are busy preparing for their weddings next year, Best of luck to all and Congratulations in advance! And thanks for making me a bridesmaid hehe! Love it.

Dear God, if I can’t have what I want, let me want what I have.

In a relationship, if you can’t afford to be honest, stay single!

Jeriko at 13

Birthday dinner at The Cheesecake Factory in Victoria Gardens

Once you get your heart involved, shit gets real.

My brother in ACTION

(in the red corner) sparring at Hapkido class. Proud of him!

Dad's "Duh" Moments

At McDonald’s Anaheim: Ordering. Dad: …and also I’ll have coffee please. Cashier: Okay would you like milk and sugar with that? Dad: Just some sugar thanks. Cashier: Okay do you want it inside or outside? Dad: (got confused) Huh? Pardon? Cashier: Do you want the sugar inside or outside? Dad: (still confused) Just give it to me. He later told us when he was at our table: Dad: Walang’ya ibang klase ang english dito ah, tinanong ako if I want my sugar inside or outside? I got lost. Grabe, literal na literal. And we all laughed our butts out (LMAO). What an awesome bonding time with dad and sis today! :]

What earthquake?

The 4.2 earthquake this morning was like a lullaby to me. It woke me up but I fell right back to sleep. It was like my brother storming inside my room without knocking to get my laptop. lol.

When a girl says “What?” it’s not that she didn’t hear you, she’s giving you the chance to change what you just said.

lol.

“Being in a wrong relationship is even more lonelier than being alone and single.”

Oh man... Fever :(

I woke up pretty early today because of my freakin’ fever and found dad cooking breakfast. When out of the blue he asked me. Dad: Mye, kung papipiliin ka dito or sa Philippines? Me: Philippines sympre. Dad: Why give me reasons? Me: Siguro kasi laid-back lifestyle, places are just near kung gusto mong pumunta ng SM ngayon din pwde kang umalis and stuffs Dad: Yun lang? So pasyal-pasyal lang pala ang sayo? Me: No not like that, I like it there because I grew up most of my life there, I didn’t have to try to fit in. My friends are there at siguro mas productive ako when I’m there. I can help people do medical missions and help the less fortunate. Siguro sa mga kapatid ko they would want it here sa US, cause they grew up most of their lives here. Pero ako, napilitan lang naman ako dad. Dad: Eh di umuwi ka… may bahay naman tayo doon. Me: (surprised) HA? IKAW YATA ANG NILALAGNAT DAD! LOL. We both laugh our butts off. But I think from the tone of his voice, he wasn’t kiddin’ when he said I can go home. He probably can tell I have outgrown this american dream. This is just not for me.

like Kim Chu's X90

Though smartphones are way smarter hehe.. I still love my cutesy X90!

RIP Palang

☑ hear mass ☑ stroll/lunch with the sibs ☑ laundry mode Overall, a lazy Sunday. I hope Mom’s okay back in Ph. If only the passing of my grandpa wasn’t so sudden, I could have squeezed in my time to go with her. But life has its indefiniteness and we just have to bear with it. Patience. Rest in peace my dear Palang. I know these past few years we’re cold unlike before where there was a lot of life between families, I know you didn’t mean to ruin it with a big revelation. You were just being a father to your sons and daughters. And though, we were told not to go back there anymore, rest assured that my parents were just protecting us. I may have envied my cousins for spending more time with you and Malang and giving them more love than I have ever received from you guys but I never did complain nor planted a grudge in my heart because you are my grandparents and I love you guys very much. I hope you are together with Malang in heaven now, and that you both are happy. I will really visit you and Malang next year when I get home and I’ll bring Jam & Koi with me, for you to see how they’ve grown. :] Again, I love you Palang. RIP.

@ my niece, Maleiya’s 2nd birthday. I finally saw my cousins again, it’s been a long time. Saw them back last year pa, @ the same party, Maleiya’s 1st. hehe deng!!!

Hello Tonsillitis! LOL

My answer to a hot weather!!!

I want to grow old with you.

— I stole a shot (hmm.. I’m pretty sure they don’t mind hehe!) from this wonderful old couple having a quiet time admiring the beautiful ocean view at Terranea Resort. I hope I can also have that kind of moment with a loved one later on in life. Forgive me for I am just but a hopeless romantic. ♥

Busy?

☑ get clothes from the cleaners ☑ card payment to wells fargo ☑ buy koi’s school supplies ☑ send wedding package to jomai siomai —- naku! ubos ang Saturday pahinga ko! kalerky! lol.

Some Mornings are Better

just sippin’ my morning iced caramel coffee at Starbucks, UC Riverside village :]

Down & Under

I’m tired. Tired fighting the battle. Tired hiding in the open. I don’t want it anymore. I need for it to stop. I need to win somehow. These are the days when I wish God would listen to me more carefully. That He would give this to me for I never asked anything I didn’t really need until now. A simple task yet an undertaking to me nevertheless. I just wished that it will all go well as how my life has turned out to be. I don’t want to lose in this battle anymore. I may be a survivor; always kept my head up and stood up straight and all, but I am just but human who can get hurt and can break down when life is too much to carry anymore. Please give me the change I deserve Oh Lord. Please answer my plea.

Take chances, take a lot of them. Because honestly, no matter where you end up and with whom, it always ends up just the way it should be. Your mistakes make you who you are. You learn and grow with each choice you make. Everything is worth it. Say how you feel, always. Be you, and be okay with it. ♥

LSS

na-LSS on this Lady Antebellum song, “Just a Kiss”; this is for all the lovers out there who are in a long-distance relationship. Mabuhay kayo! I was once a non-believer of this kind of relationship, I thought it never works. But then, that was a long time ago. I found out that it DOES work, but it’s just NOT for ALL. It only works on certain people who are willing to risk and take chances, holding on to almost nothing at all. Everything is on the line pagnagmahal ka sa ganitong sitwasyon. That’s what makes it a great test of love, faith, trust, loyalty, deep friendship and patience. No reasons. No excuses. Love.

I like when a guy makes me feel like a woman and a little girl at the same time. ♥

Hopeful. Wishing.

It’s nice to have my private lovelife back — not too many people know who’s making me happy everyday; who’s the reason behind my smile; and who keeps me excited of what’s to come in the days ahead. For once, I don’t have to explain myself to anyone nor worry about stupid rumors and useless comments. I don’t have to listen to anybody telling me who I should and shouldn’t be with; who is “bagay or not” for me. I don’t have to love according to a status symbol that “the rich marry the rich” and the inadequate would just be better off with someone down that line. Because in my world, there are no levels, classes and standards to live up to when it comes to loving someone faithfully. I’d rather based it on love, trust, faith, patience and lotsa hard-work. A classic example are my parents, they weren’t well endowed with things back in the days but they love and supported each other all the way and with hardwork and patience we are where we are right now because of that and not because of some foolish connotation. Don’t be afraid to chance upon someone and be ready to take big leaps for your relationship to keep going. No matter what you do, try your very best to make things work and make ends meet. Never get discouraged easily when life turns up to be a long and winding road because the more patience and hardwork you put into your relationship, the more it becomes stronger, wiser and unstoppable as time passes by. And time moves quickly, before you know it, you are already at the pedestal of happily ever afters.

Celebrating 4th of July, yearning.

The more I am away from you, The more I want you here. The more I do without your love, The more I want you near. I know that it makes little sense To want what’s not around, But there’s just one true love for me And that’s the one I’ve found.

Meet my travel buddy.

Proud of her.

I am so proud of you my dearest friend & sister at heart, Nestle-j V!!! U made it, congratulations graduate. Now just a little more and before you know it, you, me and bby nat2 are going to be reunited here in US. hehehe! We can always dream right? Always trust in the Lord for He is good. mwaaah! ♥

At exactly 16 hours from now,

I am off to a 4-day road trip… Hello SUMMER!!! Yeeeeeeehhhhaaaahhh!!!!

Trip Planner

I swear planning trips for the fam bam still gives me the headache eventhough I’ve been doing it for almost all my life lol. But nevertheless I love doing it esp. with bloopers like arriving at a random cemetery on a hilltop lol. Now I can’t wait for another weekend trip for mom & dad’s wedding anniversary. So many revisions to do but definitely worth it. I can’t wait to travel with my love here soon too. Hmm just a wishful thinking!

Father's Day

The kids woke up way too early to cook breakfast for their dad! haha, Happy Father’s Day daddy!

We love you!

from Cee, Jam & Koi

My New Fave Movie.

Because it’s so freakin’ beautiful, I hate the movie, Just Go With It! Made me think of that one guy who got away because he didn’t see my worth. I hope there’s no more guys like him out there. For goodness sakes guys, do change already or you’ll be missing out on a great lady. Gives me headache! Nite!

P.S. Props to Jennifer Aniston & Adam Sandler, they have a great onscreen chemistry!!!

HBD to Me!

Happy birthday to me! Yehey! Thank you Lord for the last 28years I have live in this earth. I am blessed to have met wonderful people in my lifetime. Thank you for my ever supportive family, to my parents most especially for honing me to be who I am today. I may have been through a lot of rough patches last year, but I never lose hope that things will become alright in one way or another. I wish that I will be able to end this chapter of my life successfully and move on to the next chapter especially with my career. I lay these all to you Lord, let this year be my NOW. Wishes do come true during birthdays they say… I wish mine comes true very soon. Thanks to all friends and family relatives who remembered me on my special day on facebook, twitter, ymessenger and friendster. Oh and Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! I love to have a birthday alongside with this love event. Ironic though, I don’t have any date. hehe! still much love though! xoxo

Empty.

After watching Eat.Pray.Love, I felt empty all of a sudden. I don’t know why I felt that way, it’s probably because I can relate on some of the things the character learned throughout her journey like being afraid to love, always running from things that she cannot handle, being afraid to move forward and having a hard time leaving the past behind, etc. Now I want to have my own adventure like that someday too, but hopefully it won’t be because I got divorce or made an awful wrong turn in life. I want an adventure where I am most happy and most content. I was supposed to go to a birthday party of my friend’s son this afternoon but unfortunately due to lack of transportation to get there (I’m sharing my car with everybody at home because its the only one working), so I had to stay home and just amuse myself with a movie marathon with my kid brother (Despicable Me and EatPrayLove). I should have just watched Despicable Me and stop because EatPrayLove made me do all those things literally except Love after watching it. Hayyyy.. Am I the only person, very fortunate to be here in US right now who doesn’t want to be here nor live here at all? Greener pasture, better future? Why can’t I see those points. I’m miserable heck. And when I’m miserable and lonely, I keep myself busy by tidying up my room, changing my old bedsheets and curtains and getting rid of the clutter then I lay on my bed and stare blankly at the ceiling and listen to the airplanes that pass by every 15-20minutes or so. The airport is just 15minutes away from our place that’s why. It pains me to just hear it and not be in it. Now I’m going to sleep still feeling the emptiness inside of me. If only God will give me a sign. But I know I cannot be selfish for there are many out there who is more in need of His help. February is closing in, ahhh I’m old.

Firsts

We just got home from the theaters and guess what the first movie I watched this 2011 —— The Social Network! Hahaha, I know it’s old already and that it’s all about Facebook but I haven’t seen it and so I was curious enough how facebook all started. Call me nerd and all but Mark Zuckerberg and his co-founder and best friend Eduardo Saverin were such geniuses. It’s dark comedy witty prowess got FB to where it is now —- which is HUGE! So anyway, the day was okay, my family and I had our first 2011 dinner at TGI Fridays and I found the menus funny because there’s actually written calories on each of the entree — I didn’t know til today too that there has been a law imposed on putting calorie content of all the food in the restaurant on the menu next to the description of an entree. It’s like, after reading a very entising meal description, you’ll be bummed right after because next to it is a dreadful calorie content of that particular entree that you wanted to order. LOL.

Happy 2011

My parents have work most of the day and so it was just me and my siblings at home bonding infront of the tv for the most part, watching HGTV and cooking channels. I know it’s an odd way to celebrate the new year but we just always greet the year quietly and none of those party wild and sleep it off on the start of the year kinda thing for us. Mom’s spaghetti was the bomb! I haven’t had one since like forever, and now I finally had to pig out last night at the eve. That’s all I was looking forward to during the day really… (LOL) So right now, I’m doing my farmville and cityville on facebook and then I will be writing my new year’s resolutions which is in private of course. I wanted it to come true so I won’t display it here or it might get jinxed. Last night just before midnight strike, I had a chance to call some of the special people that make life worthwhile and interesting. I had a chance to talk about all those times spent, conversations, laughters and secrets shared. I just wished that love will speak soon if it’s really meant to be because it’s hard to say you’re happy of the way you are but in reality you really love that person that’s why you are happy and yet doesn’t have the nerve to tell that person because you are simply afraid that distance will just tear your plans apart. Oh well, the year is just beginning. We’ll see.