IRONY OF BEST FRIENDS

"Lang'ya siya! Asan na yung magaling mong kaibigan ha? Pakisabi naman sa kanya na nasasaktan na ako. Hindi pa ba nya yan nararamdaman? Leche."

Sino ba ang laging nakakatanggap ng mga ganitong drama? Diba tayong mga best friend ng friend nating sinabihang walang hiya? Best friends/Close friends often get the hard part in friendship, especially if that part concerns relationships. Tayo ang hinahanap kapag may kadudahan. Ba't hindi na lng sila magusap? At tayo pa ang hahanapin para gumawa ng paraan na magkausap sila't magkabati.

Nandyan ka present sa araw-araw nilang bangayan, minsan naman kulitan muna bago tampuhan. Ikaw naman ay nasa likuran lang o nasa gilid, kunwaring nagtetext kunwaring patay mali at hindi nakikinig. Hirap namang gawin yun, pero pag-araw2x na lang nangyayari to, nasasanay ka na lalo pa't sanay na silang mag-away sa harapan mo. Nakakatuwang tingnan pero minsan ang sarap na nilang batukan lalo na kung ang laging cause ng away ay ang magaling mo kaibigan.

Kahit gago yan o torpe o overprotective o selosa o iyakin, still kaibigan mo yan at you can't just look at your friend all hurting inside o kung hindi naman, tanga at pinakawalan na lamang ang relationship nila.

Usually that's where your best friend instincts come to play. You try to help out diba? Sa isip2x mo, "sayang bagay pa naman sila" or "ang tagal na nila, tapos ngayon eto pa mangyayari?" So here you are trying to patch things up for them.

Minsan hindi mo na namamalayan na ikaw na ang kausap nila. Usually ang kausap mo ay hindi ang mismong kaibigan mo but the "ex" of your friend. Tulong dito, tulong doon. Sabihin sa kanyang, "ok na cya" or "nagmove on na yun", hanggang sa mga situations na you're hanging out together na. Nagiging much more closer kayo at feeling comfy!

So ang tanong ngayon? Eto pa ba'y tulong parin? O meron ng nabubuong iba? Well, there's this rule in friendship I read somewhere that says, "Best friends are not allowed to date or pursue their friends' ex." Fact or fiction? Sus, this is just pure girltalk...that rule doesn't exist at all kaya lang sympre napapaisip ka dba? Palagay na nating, the best friend is a guy then he realized that helping his friend's ex-girlfriend led him to fall for her. THINK: "Is this just pity? Naaawa ka lang ba? Pero hindi eh there's something else." THINK AGAIN: "Ano na lang sasabihin ng friend mo if he finds out that you've developed feelings for his ex? Hindi mali mali to.."

So ano nga ba? Well, usually ang nangyayari is he just keeps his feelings to himself at sympre isa pa, hindi rin siya sure sa feelings ng girl. Malimit nyang tinutukso yung girl sa kaibigan --- para ma-testing nya kung over na nga ba ang girl at nakapag-move on na. The POINT is, this act is yet another whirlwind hopeless case that IF YOU DONT MAKE A MOVE, NOTHING WILL HAPPEN. So to all who have this Best Friend role out there, don't sacrifice your feelings over something that will never happen anymore because some things are just left undone. Dont fuss about it, go and make a move! Hindi mo na problema ang kaibigan mo dahil pinakawalan niya tol eh, at kung minsan naman hindi niya narerealize na special ang isang taong pinakawalan o pinawalang bahala nya.

Your friend may be the LUCKY one to have met this special person FIRST pero your friend is the past...was the past. Kung walang nangyari sa past then there's no way for the future.

Youre the one who's with that special someone right NOW. Making all those connections. Can't you see, you're the LUCKY one afterall, for you can make a difference.

Can't you give your HEART a break and do something about it?

THE DAWNING

I read this poem in one of my network friends' journals in multiply... it dawned on me that at some point in my life, I've experienced this scenario but I wasn't given the benefit of the doubt to be understood, coz all my life, I'm the one who's understanding every situations there were. Being a martyr was hard. Maybe that's why I became this cautious person afraid to take a plunge on chances again.

A girl wont cry easily, except in front of the person
who she love the most, she becomes weak.
A girl wont cry easily, only when she love you
the most, she put down her ego.

if a girl cries bcoz of you, please hold her hands firmly,
she's the one who would stay with you for the
rest of your life.
if a girl cries bcoz of you, please don`t give her up,
maybe bcoz of your decision, you ruin her life.

When she cries right infront of you,
When she cries bcoz of you, Look into her eyes,
Can u see n feel the pain n hurt she's feeling? Think.
Which other girl have cried with pure sincerity,
In front of you, And bcoz of you?

She cries not because she is weak,
She cries not bcoz she wants sympathy or pity,
She cries,Because crying silently is no longer possible,
the pain, hurt, n agony have become too big a
burden to be kept inside.

If a girl cries her heart out to you, And all because of you,
Its time to look back on wat u have done,
Only you will know the answer to it.
Do consider it, Coz one day, It may be too late for regrets,
It may be too late to say "im sorry".

To my friends...
Ponder this message seriously.
Don`t do this to a girl,
You may regret it for the rest of your life.
Maybe in your life,
she's the only one that love YOU the most.
Remember this lesson..

no one falls inlove by CHOICE, it is by CHANCE
no one stays inlove by CHANCE, it is by WORK
and no one falls out of love by CHANCE, it is by
CHOICE.

FIND ANY?

(dedicated to my bestfriend, Christine)

Looking for a lover is tiring. It's exhausting! It wears you out! Everywhere you go you're looking, sizing people up, searching, hoping. In the gym, at the mall, at the juice bar, on the tennis court. It's enough to send you right over the edge. You're looking, but pretending that you're not looking.

It's perfectly normal to want a special someone, but frequently, n the quest to find that person, we may suffer from Looking-for-a-Lover Burnout syndrome. Burnout happens when we've been looking and looking and going to all the right places (for months or even years), but even after all that effort, all that doing, nothing truly satisfying has happened. We bravely go to bar after bar, we go to hear this lecture and that lecture, and though we may have had zillions of dates, we're practically right where we started. We've talked to probable candidates and heard their life stories. We've memorized countless names, and written down oh so many phone numbers.

It happens to all of us. We grow weary, heartsick and tired of looking. When that happens, the quickest, easiest cure is simply to stop for a while. Creativity heals your broken heart, and takes you to a place inside your soul that you may have forgotten. Just because we don't have a lover right now, that doesn't mean we never will again. Lovers are luxuries, but creativity---well, that's an absolute necessity. It keeps the juices flowing. Such playful acts keep us carefree until our next admirers show up. (Single, Judy Ford)

FRIENDS?

Your simple calls
Makes me want you more
A friendship like ours
Is hard to ignore.

Sometmes I wonder
Am I even worth it?
Amidst the distance
You care
Guilty pleasure we love to share.

A story to tell
Is up in the air
My heart's ready to yell
But the mind says, "Don't you dare!"

I'll wait in vain
Like I always do
Love is to gain
Experiences with you.

SIGAW PINOY (mix)

Hay ambot, yan lang ba ang kaya mo?
Hay naku, ewan ko sa'yo.
Sa mundong kay gulo
Wala na bang magbabago?

Corruption sa pulitika
Niloloko lang sarili nila.
Druga at mga bisyo
Leche tigilan na 'to!

Hoy tao, pasaway ka dito
Umalis at magbagong anyo
Langya ka sa buhay
Dapat sayo'y parusahang tunay.

Hay ambot, ang sagot ng mayayaman
Kayo din naman natingin lang.
Ba't di na 'to mabago?
Hindi naman tayo gago!

Sigaw ng kabataan
Tama na kaibigan!
Panahon na ng reporma
Subukan naman nating lumigaya.

Hay ambot, yan lang ba ang kaya mo?
Ganito na lang ba tayo?
Maawa naman kayo!

TULOG

Panaginip nga naman
Bakit dun lang kita mahagkan
Ligaya ng puso ko'y iyong iyo
Kaya lang parang hindi naman totoo.

Kapag boses mo na ang napakinggan
Tenga ko'y abot langit kailanman
Sana kapiling kita
Sa mundo ng pag-ibig sinta.

Kelan pa kaya ang panahon
Ng tayo'y magkatagpo
Itong nadarama ko
Ibig kong ipaalam sa mundo.

Hay panaginip nga naman
Pilit tayong binibigyan
Pag-asa't katotohanan
Kiliti ng damdaming daraan.

KAKAINIS KA! (constant rambling)

kase naman your not hard to love, yan tuloy im falling fast for you, and yet im holding back kase baka ako lang naman ang nagkaka-ganito *hayyy* buhay! i think im crazy inlove with you, kaya lang you can't figure that out when we talk coz i dont want you to get the idea at baka lumaki pa ang ulo mo hehe..

kase naman, ang layo natin sa isat-isa ayan tuloy hindi ko ma-determine kung ano nga ba meron sa atin..are there sparks? or we're just contented as friends? baka hindi mo naman ako type, sus sayang lang ang pagiisip ko sayo noh, mahal na ang talent fee sa mga panahon ngayon hehe.. i know dinadaan ko lang sa tawa, dahil dyan naman ako magaling, pero lahat ng mga pinagsasabi ko ngayon ay totoo i just don't want to sound so serious about it dahil dba nga, im trying to hold it back hehe...

kase naman, i dont believe in long distance relationship. numero uno akong activist sa ganyang situations pero KARMA! at yan ata lage ang istorya ng buhay ko. tinatawanan na nga ako ng aking mga kaibigan, yung super close sa akin at alam ang mga kalokohan ko kase daw tatanda akong dalaga sa mga pinangagawa ko. hindi naman daw ako mapili, at lahat naman ng boylets na nagkakandarapa sa akin ay maayos at decent at boyfriend material naman *watever*, naiinis pa nga sila minsan at bakit daw sa akin napupunta eh samantalang hindi ko naman daw ini-entertain ng masyado at kapag hindi ko daw ini-entertain eh mas lalo pa daw naloloka sa akin... SUS mahiya nga kayo sa mga pinagsasabi nyo noh, malay ko ba at bigla na lang ganyan.

pero talaga, sa dinami-dami man nila according to my beautiful friends, im still kinda stuck with you. infatuated lang cguro ako sa yo kaya i wana find it out at luluwas ako at magiibang estado para malaman etong kalokohang ginagawa ng puso ko. kung sabihin ko namang baka malakas lang ang sex appeal mo, baka bigla pang humangin ng todo-todo at lumindol kagaya ng nangyari sa india at pakistan(plse pray for their safety nga pala)! ah basta, ang haba na ng sinabi ko dito, wala naman siguradong nagbabasa ng blog na 'to... eh bukod sa wala ng kwenta, there are better things to do, am i right? so why are you reading this again? hahaha..

kung mabasa mo man to, at feeling mo ikaw ang tinutukoy ko.. edi smile ka na lang dyan ha, at wag kanang mag-debate alam ko namang mahilig kang sumbatan ako dahil you luv making "asar" to me *english manila style pa yan ha* haha.. pero eto lang naman ay mga feelings ko, sa pagka-hopeless romantic.. or should i say hopeless case of insanity? hehehe.. ayan haba na, tulog na ako. wake me up when october ends na lang... waaahhh panis!

CLOSER

Lying wide awake in the dark
Trying to figure out where you are.
Always going somewhere
Yet stuck in the middle of nowhere.

I run away from you,
But chase me coz I want you to
Drag me far from this fantasy
Let me lay down in your arms coz it's destiny.

Why can't I live without you?
I'm scared not to be with you.
Feeling empty, save me
My head spinning, why can't we be?

Is this real, this love so true?
I beg thee not to suffer and lose you.
Gaze into my eyes and hop in my dreams,
For I'll sleep, a sweet stream.

Baby, I love you
Drown me in heaven's bayou.
Take me away, hold me close
Coz this is what I want the most.

INSIDE

Bottled up inside
Are the words I never said,
The feelings that I hide,
The lines you never read.

You can see it in my eyes,
Read it on my face:
Trapped inside are lies
Of the past I can't replace.

With memories that linger---
Won't seem to go away.
Why can't I be happier?
Today's a brand-new day.

Yesterdays are over,
Even though the hurting's not.
Nothing lasts forever
I must cherish what I've got.

Don't take my love for granted,
For soon it will be gone---
All you ever wanted
Of the love you thought you'd won.

The hurt I'm feeling now
Won't disappear overnight.
But someway, somehow,
Everything will turn out all right.

No more wishing for the past.
It wasn't meant to be.
It didn't seem to last,
So I have to set him free.