Happy Halloween

Simula ng pumunta ako rito sa tate hindi ko magets kung ano ang kinalaman ng nagdadasaang chocolate at pagsusuot ng costume sa araw ng mga patay? Bakit hindi na lang mag-imbento ng ibang araw para gawing National costume day at wag ng makisali at makisabay sa unang araw ng November?

Bagamat maraming pagpapaliwanag na akong narinig eh hindi pa rin mag-click sa utak ko..naisip ko tuloy mabagal lang ba talaga akong umintindi o talgang ayaw kong tanggapin ang mga paliwanag..o baka naman may hinihintay pa akong ibang paliwanag..

Pero aaminin ko nagkaroon ng ibang kulay at kahulugan sa akin ang araw ng mga patay..bakit noon, pagdumarating ang araw na ito,nagtatakutan na ang tao..sari-saring palabas na nakakapangilabot ang napapanood ko lalo na sa TV patrol at NGinig..hmmmmeron pa kaya ng mga yon ngayon?

Kung doon, mga white ladies at ulong pugot ang nakakasalubong ng mga tao, dito face to face kayo ni superman, wonderwoman, at iba pang superheroes na nasa komiks ko lang at sa tv nakikita noon..cute kung bata ang may suot pero yung iba..matatakot ka dahil baka maya-maya mapunit yung mga damit nila sa sobrang sikip at bakat na bakat ang mga love handles. Dito lang ako nakakita ng wonderwoman na buntis, pero at least bibigyan ko sya ng perfect 10 for guts and effort, aba mahirap suotin yon noh.

Yun nga lang sa kabila ng lahat ng ito, ano nga ba ang saysay ng pagdiriwang ng araw na ito? Sa kontekstong Kristiano nakakapagbigay ba ito ng papuri sa Panginoon? O baka naman isang paraan upang bigyang dangal at liwanag ang mga bagay na associated sa kadiliman?

Marami sa atin ang nabubulagan ng naggagandahan man o nakakatakot na costume, kasi katuwaan lang naman..pero isipin mo..dapat ba talaga itong ipagdiwang? Baka mamya ang akbay-akbay mo o ang nakaakbay sayo eh si satanas na mismo na naka-costume lang. Yun ang mas nakakatakot. Biruin mo best buddies na kayo? Tsk tsk tsk.

Sadya lang sigurong iba-iba ang paniniwala ng bawat tao sa ibat-ibang sulok ng mundo. Basta ang alam ko marami akong candies at chocolates ngayon.

(photo by Commander Blade, hehe)

tungkol na naman sa love pipol!

(shoutout: salamat pla rhayne!)

L-O-V-E lang yan di ba?

para sa mga taong nanliligaw, nagbabalak manligaw, nililigawan, naliligaw, nag-iintay maligawan at nagbabalak lumagay sa magulo...

ang love ay hindi minamadali...hindi pinipilit..at lalong hindi kina-career...aray ko

unang-una...

PAANO MO BA NASABING MAHAL MO NA SIYA???...

dahil ba natutuwa ka sa kanya???...o kaya naman naaaliw ka???...naswee-sweetan ka ba ng sobra sa kanya???...kinikilig ka ba pag nakikita mo siya???...at nahi-high kapag naririnig mo na ang boses niya???...

eh teka muna...baka naman infatuated ka lang....o kaya naman kagaya nga ng sagot mo...BAKA naaaliw ka lang...dahil kakaiba siya...may spark na hindi mo maintindihan...

pangalawa...

GAANO MO NA BA SIYA KAKILALA???...

madali ba siyang mapikon???...pano ba siya mabadtrip???...madali bang mahalata na may topak siya???...ano bang suot niya pag nasa bahay siya???...shorts ba o pantalon???...nakasando ba siya o naka-t-shirt lang???...matagal ba siyang maligo???....kumakain ba siya ng vegetables???...tamad ba siya???...mas gusto ba niyang manood ng tv kaysa magbasa ng libro???..nagpe-play station ba siya???...tatlo ba ang pamangkin niyang lalaki???...makukulit ba yung mga kamag-anak niya???...green ba ang kulay ng gate ng bahay nila???...sa village ba siya nakatira???...may sakayan ba ng jeep/bus na malapit sa kanila???...nagsisimba ba siya linggo-linggo???...kasama ba yung pamilya niya???...at nagdadasal ba siya bago matulog???...

in short...alam mo na nga ba???...ang mga bagay-bagay...ang mga simpleng bagay tungkol sa kanya...na nagdedetermine ng sarili niya...as in kung sino ba talaga SIYA...

pangatlo...

KAYA MO BA SIYANG TANGGAPIN???...

as in TANGGAPIN ng buong-buo...sa lahat ng trip niya sa buhay...sa lahat ng katopakan niya...sa lahat ng pag-iinarte at pag-dadrama niya...sa lahat ng kasalanang nagawa, ginawa, at gagawin pa lang niya...sa lahat ng naiisip niya... sa lahat ng sasabihin niya...sa kilos niya..sa pananamit pa pala niya... sa pagsasalita...sa pananaw niya sa buhay...sa pagtrato niya sa tao...sa lifestyle niya...sa uri ng pamilyang meron siya...sa uri ng kaibigang kasa-kasama niya... sa style niya pagdating sa love...sa kasweetan niyang natural...sa paglalambing niya...sa tawa nyang pgkalakas-lakas na parang walang bukas...sa manners niya...sa bisyo niya kung meron man...sa mga pang-aasar niya sayo...sa style niya pagdating sa pagsolve ng problema...sa problemang maaari ka ring masama...

pang-apat...

KAYA MO BANG MAGING TOTOO???...

kaya mo bang makita yung sarili mo... na kasama pa rin siya ha...sa isang sitwasyong pag naisip mo eh...mapapaiyak ka na lang sa sakit...nang dahil din sa kanya???...

kaya mo bang magmukhang tanga... as in umiyak ng dahil sa kababawan...ibuhos ang mga nararamdaman mo... kahit na puro kababawan nga lang naman...as in kahit sa harapan niya???...

kaya mo bang maging barubal pag kasama mo siya???...yung tipo bang wala ka ng pakialam... mawala man ang manners mo...na wala ka naman talaga...

in short...

KAYA MO BANG MAGING IKAW KAPAG KASAMA MO NA SIYA???...

yung tipong hindi ka nahihiyang ipakita kung sino ka talaga...dahil alam mong...

HINDI MO LANG SIYA TANGGAP...

TANGGAP KA RIN NIYA...

BUONG-BUO RIN...

MGA TAO!!!...

tama na kasi ang trip...tama na ang pagmamadali...oo masarap ngang mainvolve sa isang tao...pero diba mas masarap yun...

LALO NA KUNG ALAM MONG TOTOO YUNG NARARAMDAMAN MO....

kaya dapat, hinde tayo nagpapabulag sa akala nating LOVE.... mag antay na lang tayo.... wag natin unahan....for all we know, hindi pa pala cya ang para sa atin......

pero pag nasagot mo lahat ng nasa taas.... baka nga mahal mo na cya.... (",)

Locked Out!

Kapag minamalas ka nga naman talaga o! Actually it wasn't all that bad today. Well, let me spill the good parts first. I got to hang out with my friends and we ate dinner at Elephant Bar. Tapos when the Wasalak boys finished their basketball practice, they called us up if we wanna watch "The Departed"(starring Jack Nicholson, Mark Walberg, Leonardo DiCaprio..). Sympre it was Friday night so ok ang lahat na manood. So ayun nanood kami. Ay grabe, the best ang movie sobra! Heads were blown off everywhere as in literally blown off ha and the "fuck" words spread like disease all throughout the movie, pati tuloy ako feeling ko nahawa na, fuck! At super ang haba ng movie ha, nakakaloka, kala ko hindi na matatapos eh. Buti na nga lang interesting to watch kasi all-star cast so hindi boring panoorin db.

Nakauwi ako ng bahay mga 1:30am na ng madaling araw. When I parked my car inside the garage I took off my shoes and twisted the doorknob papasok ng bahay. Fuck! Ayan talagang nasabi ko yan. Locked. Dali-dali kong tiningnan ang set of keys na nakasabit sa car keys ko. Fuck ulit. Wala akong susi ng bahay. Hindi naman naka-lock to nun. Ayoko ko na sanang bulabugin pa ang mga tao sa bahay but now I have no choice. Tinawagan ko ang telepono sa bahay. Walang sumagot. Ano na rin naman kasing oras noh! So tinawagan ko ang cel ng dad ko. Ring lang din ng ring, at nagleave ako ng voicemail. Tinawagan ko naman ang kapatid ko, usually mga ganitong oras gising pa yun, chika with friends or internet naman. Pero ring din ang natanggap ko. Abay himala! Tinawagan ko ulit baka hindi lang narinig or something, but she still won't pick up. That's great. Ilang beses kong pinaring ng pinaring ang lahat until it was time to give up. Wala 'tong pag-asa. Im totally locked out for the night. Para akong tatawa na maiinis na hindi ko malaman hehe. Naalala ko tuloy yung mga dorm days na pagdating ng 10pm eh lock na ang gate at hindi kana makakapasok ng hindi ka marunong umakyat sa pader. But... before you think na Im a bad person, teka muna, naalala ko lang na kinwento sa akin 'to ng kaibigan kong nagdorm nun, hindi ako oi! hehe.

Yes, I slept in my car. I have claustrophobia pa man ay grabe. I climbed inside the back of my car and just closed my eyes. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, 3am na rin naman. 3 more hours and my dad will soon wake up and find out his daughter has gone missing. If you tell me kung bakit hindi na lang ako nakitulog sa mga kaibigan eh kasi po, malayo ang bahay namin, we are close to the mountains na so tinatamad na rin akong magdrive pa para lang makitulog noh. In short, my brain cells are still working kasi nag isip ako hehe. Buti na lang din at wala akong boyfriend! Eh kung meron pa, edi sana katabi ko na cya sa kama nya. hahaha! Sometimes, in times like this, having one can come very handy sana. But nevertheless Im thankful, wala akong temptation ngayon. Naremember ko rin ang sabi ng aking wonderful mom nung nagkacollege pako. "Naku, kaw talagang bata ka o, bat di mo na lang gawing kwarto ang kotse mo, tingnan mo meron ka ng mga damit, tsinelas, at unan dito. Kada tanong ko sayo kung saan ang ganito, lagi mong sinasabi sa akin na nandun lang sa kotse mo." Hindi ko alam na darating ang panahon na makakasubok din akong matulog talaga sa kotse ko. Nakakatuwa ang mga magulang. Mom knows best talaga! hehe.

To make the long story more longer, around 6:30am, dad woke me up. At akalain mo ba naman ang tanong sa akin, "Oh, bat di ka tumawag?" And to think halos dead battery na ang cel ko at masakit pa ang katawan ko, yan lang ang nasabi nya sa akin. Pano na lang pala if I was in great danger, edi namatay na ang bida hehe. Hay naku buhay nga naman pagminamalas. I went up to my room and sleep again. I never realized how I loved my bed so much til today. Kaya my lesson for today: Magdala ng sariling susi sa bahay. Buwisit, sinabihan na kasi akong magpagawa ng extra house keys, kinakalimutan lang palagi. Ang galing ko talagang bata! One of a kind. hahaha.

100 Reasons Why I Love You by G. Lang

I LOVE YOU BECAUSE,

1. you kiss me like you mean it.
2. when your arms fold around me, all my worries disappear.
3. time has shown me that I can trust you.
4. you find a way to make me feel special each and every day.
5. you always smile when our eyes meet.
6. you are proud to be seen with me.
7. you help me without me having to ask.
8. when I am irritable, you are forgiving.
9. you have never betrayed my trust in you.
10. you don't demand more of me than I can give you.
11. you have always kept my secrets.
12. you get sentimental when looking at our old photographs.
13. you have never been indifferent to my love for you.
14. you indulge my romantic impulses.
15. when I want to admire you, you do not shy away from me.
16. you know how to say the difficult things without hurting my feelings.
17. you honor my family traditions.
18. you always give me the benefit of the doubt.
19. you know what I meant to say, even if I didn't say it.
20. even though time has changed me, you still find me attractive.
21. I know without a doubt that you love me too.
22. it is important to you that I am happy.
23. you have never looked back at what came before me.
24. you kiss me when you think I am asleep.
25. when I need you, you drop everything to comfort me.
26. you don't expect me to be everything to you.
27. when I want to talk, you listen.
28. when I do not want to talk, you are patient.
29. you give me the freedom to take care of others in my life who are important to me.
30. you have enriched my life in ways I never imagined.
31. you are careful with my tender spots.
32. you are not afraid of commitment.
33. I always have fun with you.
34. you encourage me in al ltha I do.
35. you can always tell when I need a hug.
36. when I touch you, you touch me back.
37. you are crayz about me as I am about you.
38. you try to seduce me when you think no one is watching.
39. I feel safe with you.
40. you always see the best in me.
41. you have shown me grace at my every wrong turn.
42. you have helped me to better understand myself.
43. you ahve never tried to change who I am.
44. when I gave myself to you, I lost nothing.
45. you nkow how to turn around a bad day.
46. you take your time with me.
47. you have never stopped courting me.
48. you surprise me with little gifts.
49. you dance with me whenever I ask.
50. you have saved everything I have ever given you.
51. you still treat me like you did when we were first dating.
52. your desire for me is unfettered.
53. you cherich each moment we spend together.
54. you accept my family as your own.
55. you put our relationship above all others.
56. you understand my needs.
57. you tell me what you need from me.
58. you find me irresistible.
59. I can feel your heart when you touch me.
60. you are my best friend.
61. your compliments are always sincere.
62. we made a family together.
63. you never grow tired of hearing me say, "I love you."
64. you still chase me around the house.
65. you are faithful to our promises to each other.
66. you know all the words to our song.
67. you carry a picture of me everywhere you go.
68. you reserve private time for us.
69. we strive equally for harmony in our relationship.
70. you always forgive me.
71. even when you are angry with me, you are kind.
72. you never attempt to control me.
73. you are always prepared to defend me.
74. you do not put yourself in situations that would make me uncomfortable.
75. you are devoted to me.
76. you share my faith and values.
77. your affection soothes me.
78. I can learn on you when I am weak.
79. you love me for who I am.
80. you always embrace me when you see me.
81. you still write me love letters.
82. you never tired of my need for your attention.
83. we made a home together.
84. you like to spoil me now and then.
85. you are proud of my accomplishments.
86. when I can't sleep, you rub my back.
87. you accept all the affection I want to give you.
88. with you I have a profound sense of belonging.
89. when I look into your eyes, I see your love for me.
90. you have never asked me to prove myself to you.
91. even when we are apart, you think of me.
92. when we spend time together you are never distracted by something more important.
93. you have given all of yourself to me.
94. when I reach for you, you move closer.
95. you continue to surprise me.
96. you have never caused me heartache.
97. you never fail to consider my feelings.
98. you like to sleep like spoons.
99. you lips are always eager to meet mine.
100. without you my life would be less than it has become.

A good catch is a good catch eventhough the right one hasn't come along

Yesterday and today were somewhat realization days for me. Two of my guy friends opened up to me. Love had ended for them they said, which was weird because I just ended my sorta lovestory recently, specifically last week too. I mean not as complicated as compared to their stories because mine was completely out of the context of couples thing but you know what I mean, we were all hurt in one way or another. All that they said and ranted to me gave me ideas and views that were similar to mine, and considering the fact that they were guys made me realized that guys are no different from girls when it comes to a break-up. They have their own denial stage, blaming themselves or their exs' stage, and suicidal "i don't want to live and feel anymore" stage. The only difference is, they tend to hide it, they tend to not,as much as possible, let anyone know that they are hurting because its unmanly for them. That's why girls always get mad or cry even more when they see their exs' very cool, calm and collected, and think right away, "he's a bastard, he doesn't really care, see he already forgot about me." But the truth is, they just want it bottled up inside and only their trusted people are the ones that see the hurt in them. Girls have friends they can cry rivers to, and girls can get so emotional and people around them won't mind at all because they are girls, it's ok for them to be all emotional. But with guys, yes they do have friends who will understand, but it's not common for guys to break down easily to whomever can listen.

Funny how love ends right? Though they end differently for each person, but when you come and think about it more closely, it is similar in ways unexplainable sometimes. That's why we don't talk about break-ups so much. It's a scary thought and even scarier when you've experienced it. The "I told you so" and "Don't say I didn't warn you" sentences bug you to death. But still we love to love. The sadness of a loss will eventually tone down and life goes on. Whattaheck. I can just smile.

Ps. Btw, I watched "The Break-Up" on dvd today, starring Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. It was a funny movie, and thank goodness they really did live up to the movie title because they didn't resolve anything. They totally broke up. No happy endings, yippee!

Don't Tell me IKAW to?!?!

Sarap ng feeling ng may girlfriend at boyfriend ka noh? Yung tipong may mag-aalaga at kesyo may mgmamahal "daw" Sayo. Yun bang hindi kumpleto araw mo pag di mo sya nakikita o nakakausap man lang. At ang unlimited call minutes mo eh, kulang pa sa isang tawag mo sknya. Samantalang wala nman kayong ginawa kundi magbungisngisan, at pakinggan ang paghinga ng bawat isa. Ibababa na nga lang ang telepono, ay naku! Aabutin pa kayo ng pasko dahil nagpapakiramdaman kayo kung sino ang unang magbababa.

Hindi pwedeng hindi man lang kayo mkapag-date maski isang beses sa isang linggo. Ayaw nyong Ma- Miss ang isa't-isa. How sweet diba? Oh, ayan gifted ka. Mabait gf mo. Caring bf mo. Pero bakit dumamdating na pag may nakita kang iba at basta gusto ka rin. Hala! Cge! Papatol ka!

Feeling mo IN ka? Oo, nga nman! Sayang ang kagwapuhan at kagandahan mo kung hndi mo
mapapakinabangan. Hindi ka pa nasiyahan sa isa. At nung nag break kayo ng No.1 mo eh, ang lakas pa ng loob mong sabihin na nagkulang siya. Sabay banat pa ng: " so what? Madami pang iba!"

Tibay mo tsong! Bka nman ibig mong sabihin ay may reserba ka pa?

At eto pa, Dahil nga sobra kang ma-appeal hindi ka kuntento sa dalawa. Kung pwede mangolekta, bakit hndi diba? Yung merong umaga, tanghali, gabi at meron ka pang singit na snack o merienda every after meal? Wow! Sosyal ka! Naghihirap na ang Pilipinas at ikaw eh nagbibilang pa habang yung mga taong niloloko mo ay nagpapakatanga at ang tanging alam lang eh mahalin ka.

At ng nagkabukuhan... Eh, d naiwan ka? Ngayon natauhan ka na, hahabol ka pa? Ni hindi ka kasi marunong magpahalga. Kung akala mo karma lang yan... Pwes! nagkakamali ka! Isa yang malaking katangahan!

At kung ikaw na ngbabasa nito eh, balak ding gawin yan.. Mag-isip ka. Maaring mas may pag-asa pa ang KABOBOHAN sa KATANGAHAN.

Wag lang puro porma tsong.

Malay mo, wala nang magmahal sayo dahil sa ugali mong yan.................................

ShoutOuts

- la naman me magawa sa buhay.
- desa i kno ur bored pero im broke hehe so find urself a man wag doctor hehe.
- jenny bakit 2days lng off mo punta pa tayo ng vegas and san diego daw.
- dom hoy answer the damn phone.
- hello tal,wuzup?syado u busy mang hope ur ok.
- miss ko na ang smirnoff times with hbs.
- em who's that hot gay..pakinshet y is he gay pa grr hehe.
- tin slamat u kno wat that means na ill treat u and nana talaga f this thing hppens.
- im sucha loser ryt nw always cryin dalhin nyo na ko sa mental hospital dali hehe!
- my sis is so hard to deal dagdag sa problema ko.
- my bro is my strength thank God for him.
- chinggay wers the pics frm ur party tagal ha hehe.
- to mamabear n papabear musta na dates nyo wag lng pasobra bka awards night na nmn ky tita.
- adrian jo sory tlaga im jus so preoccupied with stuff this days hope 2c u soon pnasasabihn na nga me ni lence eh hehe.
- lence thanks for the suport dnt wori ill fix my phone hehe cge takbo kana ulit n im stl thinkn bout my plans pa rin hayy.
- abby c. nice pics my dear.. as alwys
- shout out to the wasalak boys continue bringing world peace hehe.
- marian ano na balita sayo nice ride btw.
- thesa r u behaving in frisco pls cut bck on the soy hehe.
- kelan tayo manonood ng the grudge2 motmot? ang busy nyo ni cous irene eh! tama na muna yan, buy me ice cream hehe.
- thanks friends for addin my new account in friendster kun cno man kayo.
- there's never a right time to say goodbye..i lost him.
- my gwapo sa katabing table kanina sa starbucks lol.
- chearay how r u? f u hv time col me balitaan mo namn ako.
- myee ur lookin good, thats hot. pahingi namn nyang slim thingy i need it hehehehe
- lessu so which one did u choose na?i need updates hehe.
- lapit na halloween and dang its gona b a month til christmas.
- just finished watching just like heaven..paulit-ulit but im so inluv wid the movie pa rin
- thanks sa smile magpie lookin good.
- chel n rhayne ang sesexy nyo dats hot!
- big d thanks to all the songs ha, sory nakaka2log me minsan hehe
- thania n herbie,so kelan na ung inuman session natin ha hehe
- aaron thanks sa pics i got them alrdy.
- keloyd pare nabuhay ka rin.
- kathie i love blogness monster kse bloggeristas kinda common na u think?
- n to everyone, have a good day and gudnite!
- gotta watch saturday night live.
- ciao take care everybody, share love! be love!

As of 10am pacific time today... I LOST HIM.

Chuvaness

The mornings without you aren't that bad,
Now I can get on with life's wrath.
As I think less and less of you,
The path I want to go seemed a better view.
We have to admit that the bittersweet part of loving,
Is loving without thinking.
Coz it leaves us hanging hurt
Damn. Whatta jerk.

I thought about him today becoz I felt like I wasn't fair to him. I haven't replied to any of his text messages for I think two weeks straight now...but who's counting. I guess I just became bitter all of a sudden. I wasn't satisfied with the situation we were in. He said he would put in extra effort but where was it? I can't really feel it, any of it. So here I go again back into living up to my middle name, "Runaway." Im tired of putting effort or doing the best I can to something,so out of reach; so complicated; so one-way street.

They said that in order for someone to notice your existence, you should give them the chance to realize that you are somehow important to their lives. They will eventually feel that there's a part of them missing. I guess they were right, coz after three days of not texting, calling or whatever else, the tables turned. My cel was bombarded with tons of text messages and miss calls from him. I was gonna respond in a matter of two days but I dunno..there was a part of me that stopped me from doing so. Now it's been two weeks. Whatta jerk. Yeah guess Im referring to myself. *sigh*

Bakit "SINGLE" ang Status Mo at Status Ko

**hindi ko to gawa pero sobrang PANALO cya ha kakarelate tlaga charr!**

(10) PERFECTIONIST/MAPILI**
Yes, isang taong perpeksiyonista. Yung tipong dapat ganito ang magiging kapartner ko. Pag may nakilala, nakita lang na pangit ang kuko o may dumi lang, turn-off na agad. O kaya ang daming ayaw. Ayaw sa mabait boring daw, gusto bad boy/ pilya pero kapag pinaiyak ka tatanungin ka bakit ang sama mo bakit mo nagawa yun! Adik ka ba?! Ayaw sa cute, ayaw din naman sa panget. meron dyan gusto ka ayaw mo naman.. ung gusto mo halos magtambling ka pero deadma parin yang stunts mO sa kanya! Pasaway ka rin e! Ano ba talaga kuya?

(9) BUSY-BUSYHAN**
Opo, eto yung ang mundo e gumagalaw lang sa libro at ballpen kung estudyante ka o kaya naman sa computer at files kung office staff ka. Yung tipong aalis ng bahay ng alas 6 o alas 7 ng umaga at uuwi ng bahay ng 6 hanggang alas 8 ng gabi [baligtad naman para sa mga
nag tratrabaho sa call center]. Sabay tulog na. Kapag sabado masaya na sila sa tv, sa pagkain na niluluto ni mama at sa linggo naman sisimba at maghahanda na ng kelangan para sa lunes hanggang byernes. Pssssst ka muna and pause for awhile.

(8) FRIENDSHIP THEORY**
Ano naman ito? Eto yung ang buhay ay kay bestfriend o kaya kay special friend na hindi masasabi sabi sa friendship nya sa loob ng kanilang mahabang panahon na pagsasama dahil baka daw maapektuhan ang pakikipagkaibigan at iwasan sya. Yung tipong pag may kasama si friendship na iba, nagseselos na wala naman sa lugar, pero syempre wag pahalata, kunyari happy sya for friendship. ABA! Oi lakasan mo ang loob at baka mamaya forever mong pagsisihan yan kaw rin.

(7) BORN-TO-BE-ONE (Authestic)
Eto yung nasa palad na ang pagiging single daw¦ Walang reasons¦ Basta lang nabuhay sya sa mundo na mag-isa at feeling nya mamatay sya sa mundo ng mag-isa. Kesyo magmamadre o magpapari na lang. Asa kang tatanggapin ka pa noh!

(6) HAPPY-GO-LUCKY**
Eto yung taong walang alam kundi kasiyahan at trippings. Kahit sino nalang basta no string attach. For fun lang daw... Walang halong seryosohan. ABA hoy! yang init ng katawan mo e ikiskis mo nalang sa pader. Makakahanap ka rin ng katapat mo!!!

(5) WRONG PLACE**
May nakaranas na ba nito? Yung pakiramdam mo nasa ibang mundo ka. Yung ang nakakaharap mo e yung mga hindi mo gusto, yung mga hindi mo hinahanap. Alam mo yun? Halimbawa nasa ibang bansa ka, pero ang hinahanap mo e yung amoy ng nasa sariling bayan mo. O kaya naman e nasa sarili mong bayan ka, nasa normal na lipunan, pero ikaw ang abnormal at hindi mo kayang sabihin na abnormal din ang hanap mo kung ayaw mong ibitin ka nila ng patiwarik.

(4) WRONG TIME
Eto yung mga tao na sinasabi na, hindi pa ako ready e bata pa kasi ako o kaya naman hindi pa ako handa sa panahong ito, wala pa ako kayang ipagmalaki. Yes meron pong ganyan. Yung feeling nila may tamang panahon para sa love. Awwwwwww. Abakelan yun? Pag uugod ugod ka na at yung time mo e bitin na? O baka naman pag pang out of time ka na? Oist, sugod lang ng sugod.

(3) STRICT ANG PARENTS**
Yes, factor din ang komyunidad na ginagalawan mo. Una, ayaw pa ni mader o pader na magkaron ka kahit 22 anyos ka na at kelangan umabot ka muna raw ng 40 bago magkaroon ng gf/bf. O kaya naman ikaw mismo! Takot sa sasabihin ni parents at ni kapitbahay na tsismosa sa magiging kasama mo. Abaikaw na nga ba ang sabihan na.. Alam mo hindi kayo bagay. langit at lupa kayo. Awwwww. Payo ko sayo, Pakialam nila diba? Palibhasa inggit!

(2) TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE**
Eto kalimitan ang reason ng marami. Ayaw ko na!!! takot na ako mangyari pa ang nangyari dati! O diba ang drama ng layp? Yes, tama ka. Eto yung dahil sa past relationship mo, e until na ayaw mo ng magkaroon at sinumpa mo na ata ang magmahal. Dahil sa pinagpalit ka sa mas pangit, o kaya naman iniwan ka ng walang word na bye-bye, o dahil binugbog ka!, ano pa ba? Madami yan¦ wag na nating isa isahin at baka tumulo si tears¦heheh Gayunpaman, eto lang masasabi ko mga hija at hijo. Ibat iba ang lasa ng pag-ibig. May mapait, may mapakla, may matamis at may maasim. Abamapalad ka at natikman mo ang ibat ibang lasa nito.
Kaya ikaw, Do not be afraid to fall in love again, malay mo sweetiness na ang malasahin mo next time. E di panalo ka sa lotto. Yan ang nagpapalakas sayo. Yang ang bumubuhay sayo, ang pag-ibig. tsk! drama!

(1) EX TO THE NTH POWER**
Oi aminin!!! LOVE parin si Ex kahit 1 ? 2 yrs na ang nakakalipas. May ganito naman. Yung tipong ilang taon ang nakakalipas, hindi parin makalimutan si ex. Yung pinagsamahan, yung tawanan, yung iyakan, at lahat ng nangyari sa inyo nung kayo pa. Malungkot man at sa kung anumang kadahilanan, maganda man o masama ito, kelangan nyong magpaalam sa isa't isa. YES, after ay year sasabihin natin, im over him/her na, pero pag-usapan natin ang love at ang nangyari sa ating relastionship from the past, TADANNNNNNNNNNNNN, eto na, sya agad ang naalala mo. At habang nagkukwento ka, ouch may kirot, o kaya may ngiti at may bumabagabag sa ating kalooban. Ano kaya yun? AMININ mo na kasi¦. MAHAL mo pa si EX. Isa lang ang masasabi ko, well mahirap sya kalimutan alam ko yan¦ pero open your heart and makipagdate ka, lumabas ka, at try to entertain someone. Wag mo ikumpara si ex sa iba.

JUZKO, BAKA ABUTIN KA NG DELUBYO SINGLE KA PA RIN! ISANG MALAKING GUDLAK NLNG SA 'YO!

Kape at Chika

Im xo dehydrated right now. So i went and got myself a Java Chip Frappucino @ Starbucks. Sosyal! Lintik naman kseng Starbucks, dito pa nagpatayo malapit sa amin. Hehe! And as a Starbucks addict myself, the location was damn pleasurable. And to think I was drinking a frappucino on a 59degrees Fahrenheit weather (calculate it sa Celsius na lang kung alam nyo hehe)..which in short, malamig na ang panahon, malamig pa ang iniinom ko! I love it.

Anyway it's Monday and when I went to church yesterday and heard mass, I prayed that I will try to lighten things up and give myself a break from all the drama. SO, Im trying to reactivate myself back to my jolly carefree mood this week. I still have one assessment exam to take this coming Thursday and Im already freakin bored of reviewing the materials. Im not as prepared but Im confident to take it already. Me and my so-called determination, Im probably going nuts! hehe.

I talked to my kababata 2 days ago, and I told him that I finally let it out and I told him the thing I said about being guilty and all those crap and he laughed! Ano daw ba talaga gusto kong mangyari sa buhay ko! hehehe. And by that, I'm determined to stop this madness na. This particular person, well, I dunno lang ha, pero kung sya ang magsabi at mangaral sa akin ng lahat ng dapat kong marinig at malaman tungkol sa mga problema't kadramahan ko sa buhay, I tend to listen to him maski na our ideas and perceptions almost always clash. Pero kung sya na ang magsabi, humihinahon ako. He's like my pacifier at some point. And to think, we are not that close and we haven't even spent a whole day together. But I knew him from puberty, I don't know how to connect that but that's just the way it goes I guess.

Kakatuwa nga, ayaw ko mang aminin pero, I think Im getting my inner strength from him. Scary! hehe. Hopefully Im not the only one who has a friend like this But I do am glad that I have him to air out my shit. Pagdating kasi sa problema ko, I dont know how to handle them sometimes, but if it was other's problems I am always the first to advice. Ganyan talaga siguro. We learn from others and they learn from us! hehe.

Hayyy pa Winter na naman. My kind of weather...subdued, cozy and romantic! =D

Breath

The sad thought I now see
Grab and seize it the way it should be
Hurting is a part of me
Forever I will yearn for thee
Moments of truth I barely agree
The breath of solitary felt so empty.

Why Does It Feel So Wrong?

So I did it, I told them. And they took it kind of smoothly actually. It's like they have been waiting for me to say something or anything. I felt like I was being punked for like a second there. They said there's no problem at all if that's my decision. I just have to make sure that I'm certain that this is where I want to go; what I want to do.

Then why do I feel guilty? I wanted this all my life, I've prepared myself for this day to come over and over that I've already memorized what I've been meaning to say to them, then when I said it all, it's like... huh, what just happened again? My friend said I should be happy because they understood. And I know I should be happy too because finally I did it. Then what's this feeling deep inside me that somehow felt wrong?

Probably the pressure of starting over and not letting them down is getting in my mind. I have a lot to prove you know, to prove that I've made a good decision. And plus, I'll be away from them, I'll be leaving the carefree life; the no-problem zone; the princess den.
WOW. I never thought this is going to be overwhelming...just thinking about it, is overwhelming. I guess this is it huh? What do you think?

ANG HATOL!

Hinga ng malalim, dahil this is the night, I'm going to blurt out the biggest decision I've ever made in my entire life. Biggest ever, that can shape my future...which frankly speaking can go either way --- I'm just glad that there's only the good way or the bad way. Ahhhh the pressure. Believe me, this is very tough for me. Telling my parents that I'm going to do exactly the opposite of what they want for my future. Nightmare...I'm totally hyperventilating right now.

This is why I hate to be the good girl.. yes, stress on the word "good." My first to say the "NO" word to the two person I love the most. Oh God help me! Why is so hard! I'm going to die. I've cried for every single day this week. It is that...freakin' HARD! But I can't waste anymore time. Because time is against me right now..and probably later on, my parents will be against me too.

My hands and feet are all cold and clammy, and my body's all shaking. It's like getting ready for a public speaking, gosh! And I'm so not good with public speaking, I choke everytime. But I will act now, before it's too late.

Kudos for me! All the luck in the world I will need so thank you if you wished me good luck! IF you don't hear from me for the remaining week, please pray for me... It only means that I may be sentenced to whatever is. Ahhhhh.... I can do this!

..La Lang..

ano na lang ang feeling mo kung kunwaring may taong nanliligaw sayo na type mo rin, pero hindi mo naman nakikita ang efforts nya? ikaw ba ang type na taong hahayaan na lamang yung tipong whatever happens, happens or ikaw yung tipong hindi magaaksaya ng panahon sa mga lalaking ganito?...pero gusto mo cya eh. pano na lang yan?

may nagtanong na kasi sa akin minsan nito, kung anong gagawin nya sa sitwasyong ito. she ended up letting go of the guy pero nanghinayang naman cya ngayon kung bakit nya ito pinakawalan. deep inside daw, nagseselos daw cya mapa hanggang ngayon. natatawa lang ako lagi kapag magkasama kami at panay bad words na lang lagi ang naririnig ko sa kanya dahil naiinis cya na ewan.

naalala ko tuloy yung experience ko rin tungkol dito. kaya lang yung akin naman eh naging kami talaga (ex ko na ngayon). pero malayo kami sa isat-isa. nasa ibang bansa kaya hindi rin nagtagal. ako rin ang unang tumiwalas, hindi ko kaya. sumuko ako, kaya ngayon medyo nanghihinayang parin ako kung bakit hindi ko na lang tiniis ang kalayuan. aaminin ko, nagseselos pa rin ako, sympre wala naman talagang masakit na dahilan kung bakit kami naghiwalay eh, yun lang, dahil malayo kami sa isat-isa.

friends pa rin kami ngayon ng ex ko. kaya lang, mahirap para sa akin dahil feeling ko, meron pa rin akong nararamdaman para sa kanya, lalo na't nandyan ang friendster at myspace, naku po! hindi ko halos mapigilan ang sarili ko minsan na buksan ang kanyang profile at tingnan kong anong status nya at kung cno-cno ang nagtetesti na mga gurls sa kanya. tangina!

kaya i feel for those na nasa sitwasyong ito ngayon. dun din sa kaibigan ko, naiintindihan ko kung bakit cya nagkaka-ganyan. buti nga kanya, nasa tabi-tabi lang. hindi long distance. meron din akong kakilala na parang nasa sitwasyong kagaya sa akin noon long distance sila ngayon, at 'lam ko, nahihirapan na cya. tinitiis lang nya dahil gusto nya for once in her life, magkaroon naman cya ng pag-asang hindi totoo ang kasabihang, "long distance relationship doesnt work".. lahat na lang daw kasi ng kilala nya eh hindi nga talaga naman nagwowork. isa na ako dun! hehe. so she's sticking it out. saludo ako sayo unnamed person! hehe.

payo ko lang sa inyo: wag puso lagi ang pinaiiral nyo, gamitin din ang utak. minsan kasi ayaw lang natin aminin, takot tayo mag-isa. pero it's not that bad. it gets lonely sometimes pero kung hindi talaga para sayo ang taong yan, then let him/her go. dont torture yourself. kung kayo talaga sa huli, malalaman at mafefeel nyo yan, at when that time comes, you will know what to do. in the meantime, enjoy what you have, where you are, who you are with. dont look too far, he/she might just be next to you, waiting for you to notice that they exist too.

go out on dates, hangout more, manligaw at magpaligaw...kung saan ka masaya gawin mo, experience it kasi it doesnt come to often in life. siguro naman nasa tamang edad na rin tayo para sa mga ganitong bagay. just beware of the consequences, ingatan ang puso, hindi yan basta-basta nagmamahal at minamahal ng kahit sino.

at ikaw lang ang makakaalam ng tamang panahon.

Heavy Shadows

Im in trouble
Afraid it will double
The pressure is getting me
I don't know how to set myself free.

Darkness overcasts the sky
I can't seem to get out, so I wonder why
Everything seems to clutter
My ideas so heavy and scattered.

Tired but I can't rest
I have to try and reach out for the best
Looking past all my clouded thoughts
What do I really want the most?

Barya

Mahirap tanggihan ang aking mga kaibigan...lalo na kapag pareho sila ng day off sa trabaho. "Moieee...cge na bangon ka na dyan! Alis tayo." Kaya naman kung magyayaya sila sa telepono or sa IM sasagutin ko na kaagad kasi kung hindi, naku! bubulabugin ako dito sa bahay! hahaha. Ang kukulit.

Tanong ko lagi, "Oh bakit saan na naman tayo gagala?" at tama ba namang sagutin nila akong, "Kahit saan basta." Kaya walang saysay ang paggising ko sa umaga sa mga araw nato hehehe. So ayun, nakaabot kami ng Laguna Beach ngayong araw..dun mismo sa lugar na pinagshoshootingan ng Laguna Beach sa MTV. Ohk naman, natulog lang ako sa backseat hehe, buti na lang day off ko rin sa pagkadriver, its good to be a passenger for a change! hahaha. Maganda ang place, talagang pang mayaman. Biruin mo naman, may toll-gate pa kung papasok sa city ng laguna beach. Sosyal! Naubos tuloy ang mga coin change namin, UNPREPARED eh! hehe. Tapos leche hirap magparking, kasi sa gilid ng daan ang usong parking dun, eh metered so kailangan na naman ng change! hayyy.. naglakad pa ang isa naming kaibigan ng one block sa changing area para magpabarya! hahaha. Nasira tuloy ang kanyang beauty ever lolz.

Kaya lesson for the day, kung magbabalak kayong pumunta ng Laguna Beach or kung saan mang-elite cities, naku magbaon ng barya! Kaya naman pla mataas ang cost of living sa mga lugar nato, eh yumayaman sa barya-barya! hahaha. Dapat laging handa! Hindi kasi girl scout mga kasama ko at ako naman, laging absent sa girl scout meeting noon. hehehe! Lang kwentang blog! haha. Check out the pics na lang at my photo blog, A FEW STOLEN MOMENTS... in fairness, its worth it ha, the place was gorgeous!!! the atmosphere was different from the normal L.A. beach cities. Talagang welcome to the OC hanep! Orange County rocks.

Finally! My very own Photofolio site..

Finally, My Picture Blog is now running... Visit it at:

A FEW STOLEN MOMENTS

I also placed a link at the sidebar "More of Me."

Luv to hear comments from you guys!!! Salamat po.

Yadda..Yadda..Yadda..

Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we love we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns. Go for the man/woman of deeds and not for the man/woman of words for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man/woman you love but the man/woman who loves you more.

The best lovers are those who are capable of loving from a distance, far enough to allow the other person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being. To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that is kept in your heart.

Do not let the bitterness lure away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let yourself grow with wisdom in bearing it. You may find peace in just loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace and happiness comes only with open acceptance of what reality is today.

There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful/handsome and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions.

The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just friendship. We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves.

You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me; you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well.

Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow: If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed in love. Cry, if you have to, but make sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past as left you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime........

Keep what you need and leave the rest behind.

New 'Do

the old
the new

AAHhhhh I finally cut my long hair. hehehe! I dunno I just got tired of it after so many years hehe.. I just woke up one morning and before jumping outta bed I talked to myself in the third person... "Celine..you're cutting your hair today. Not just a trim but a cut....SHORT."
So far nobody had said bad comments (infront of my face that is!) hehehehe. And I intend to keep it that way thank you very much. Wala lang, nagiingay lang po!