Simply Madness.

There were a lot of my past year's resolutions that I haven't attained but there were also a lot I have accomplished and more than my expectations can handle. This was the year I moved on and took a step toward finishing my goal. This was the year wherein I handle decisions and consequences rather well enough and this was the year I found love (the much awaited). Parang kelan lang ako'y nahiwalay sa pamilya ko upang sundin naman ang aking mga pangarap. Pinaninindigan ko ang pag uwi ko sa Pilipinas to find myself back again and to prove to the world that I am worth something and that I can decide for my own and I'm now doing everything my own way. Noon kasi sunod-sunuran din ako, para akong takot sa aking mga sariling desisyon kasi lagi kong iniisip baka hindi ko makayanan at mapahiya lang ako.

But this year I gained enough courage to face one of the important decision I've ever made in my life, and that is to decide on what I wanted to pursue and continue my education without turning back to the shitty past I've had. Compared to my life in the past 2 years, this year brought me renewed happiness and wit to stand up on my own decision and ready to face any consequences it brings. At last I got what I wanted, a little freedom to learn on my own mistakes without having to depend so much on my parents especially my dad who was always there catching me everytime I stumble and fail badly. An important lesson I've learned this year is that, "Don't let others force you into doing something you dont' feel like doing, instead, weigh things (pros and cons), take a deep breath and let your own decision flow into you to do it."

SO therefore I conclude that I have a lot to be thankful for this year. And I really appreciate all the wonderful people that made this year around me possible. Mwwwaaaahhhh!

Start of the Holidays

Yoooohoooo!!!

I'm back home in CALI. I just arrived several hours ago and I wasn't exhausted at all, know why? Because when I was in Manila, my bby boo mixed me a drink that was soooo good, I slept through the whole flight of 12 hours. I usually cannot sleep at all when I have long trips and flights such as this but that was cool, which gives me the idea that to be able to sleep in the plane, I have to tell my bby to mix me a drink hours before my flight! hahaha, he even laughed when I told him about this.

Anyway, as usual my family was there with a banner saying welcome home and my mom was holding a camera, took a picture of me as I was nearing them. You may seem it's embarrassing but for me it's touching and cute, I look forward to their new banner everytime! hahaha. I feel like a celebrity. Oh! Speaking of celebrity, Iya, I forgot her last name, the leading lady of Vhong Navarro in Lastikman, and also a Myx Vj, was on the same flight with me. She looks prettier without make up on just like a regular person and it was my first time to see no Filipinos swooning over her which was cool. And she was pretty cool, not braggy or showy.

Anyway, I guess I have to get some sleep again, its almost 2 in the morning.

Tagged.

Oopps I've been tagged by YCHEL and I just read it now. Sorry sis, anyway here are my chuvaness!

5 Things Found In My Bag
1 - cellphones
2 - wallet
3 - comb
4 - make up kit
5 - ipod

5 Things Found In My Wallet
1 - credit cards
2 - useless receipts
3 - money
4 - pictures
5 - business cards

5 Things Found In My Room
1 - laptop
2 - scattered books
3 - bed
4 - desk
5- junky electric fan

5 Things I've Always Wanted To Do
1 - travel with my boo
2 - go scuba diving
3 - learn how to play the piano
4 - be a Vj even for a day
5 - shop extravagantly

5 Things I'm Currently Into
1 - hoodie shirts
2 - belt bags
3 - sadistic horror movies
4 - love
5 - colorstone

5 Things People To Tag For This Meme
1 - Kathie
2 - Keloyd
3 - Fye
4 - Jamaica
5 - Lib

NARS

Should I stay or should I go? This is the question facing most Filipino nurses nowadays. This will also be the question that the upcoming movie Nars will attempt to answer. Jennylyn Mercado, Jodi Sta. Maria, Agot Isidro, Coco Martin, and Jon Avila portray five graduating nursing students who are at a crossroads in their lives and their careers. Their different stories are a cross-section of society's nurses. Each character reflects the Pinoy's aspirations, motives, realities, ambivalence, and fears in becoming a nurse.

With a majority of nurses opting to work abroad rather than stay in the Philippines, Nars aims to present the advantages and disadvantages of working for one's homeland. The five lead characters belong to one study group who immerse themselves in a community before they can graduate. As they work on their last year as nursing students, they meet people who make them realize not only their roles as ordinary nurses but as Filipino nurses.

Director: Adolf Alix, Jr.
Screenplay: Agnes de Guzman
Production Company: Carl & Carl Productions
Executive Producer: Carl Balita
Line Producer: Carlo Maceda

Cast: Agot Isidro, Jennylyn Mercado, Jodi Sta. Maria, Coco Martin, Jon Avila, Jaclyn Jose, Allan Paule, Jeffrey Hidalgo, and Joseph Bitangcol

Ela (Jennylyn Mercado) comes from an impoverished but happy family (composed of Jaclyn Jose, Allan Paule, Jeffrey Hidalgo, and Joseph Bitangcol). Each member makes sacrifices to support her education. In return, Ela sets aside her dreams and takes the course her family chose for her.

Adrinne's (Jodi Sta. Maria) parents are both working abroad. Her mother is a caregiver in Canada while her father is an engineer in Dubai. Thus, they provide her with all the money and material things but fail to give her what she truly longs for—their love and their presence. She, too, wants to work abroad but aims to work in Australia to spite her parents.

Marissa (Agot Isidro) is single and a doctor by profession. Her whole family migrated to the U.S. many years back. She was left behind because she was already over-age when their petition arrived. Now, Marissa wants to join them through legal means. With a heavy heart, she gives up her medical profession and takes up nursing. Marissa is involved in a wrong relationship. Leaving the country will also spell a new start for her. She represents the story of doctors who take up nursing in pursuit of the American dream.

Liam (Jon Avila) dreams of becoming a nurse. His parents are Filipinos who are U.S. citizens. They send him to the Philippines because education is much cheaper here. Liam learns more than the course he pursues. He discovers his roots and meets Ela, the love of his life.

Noel (Coco Martin) is gay and proud of it. He enrolled in nursing because it is the "in" thing to do. He soon comes to love the profession, especially since it will become his key to becoming a "blushing bride" someday. He intends to apply in Europe where gay marriages are allowed.

Nars is a major film independently produced by Carl & Carl Productions.

*article courtesy by pep.ph*

----------My Short Rev-----------

Besides the fact that the film wasn't a clear copy, and we payed 120php just to watch the premiere of it here in Iloilo because it was made compulsory by the nursing departments of every colleges here in our province, I was touched by the thought content and the characters being portrayed in the film. I saw myself in one of the characters and there were scenes this movie wherein I just got teary-eyed without my classmates beside me knowing. It was true, different nursing students, different goals to pursue. Others would think it's all because of the dollars all the time, but it's never all that, it's just that, there are fewer and fewer nurses staying in our countries and instead of taking care of our own color, they are much rather off taking care of other colors because of the poverty we are experiencing here in our country. Poverty and continued price increase of everything we can get a hold of. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. You can't blame us.

1st Thanksgiving away from home.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Man.. how I wish I was back in Cali right now, celebrating it with them. I miss the roasted turkey dish my aunt always cook every Thanksgiving. We celebrate it in their house every Thursday 3rd week of November. It's always a house party back there this time of day. I also miss the road trips this time of week where there's no class for my siblings and all of us will go somewhere wee bit far. My dad texted me yesterday that they are going to Fisco till Friday. Arrrggghhh. I wanna go badly, but boohoo I'm here classes in session as usual.

Anyway, we had a chapter test in Micro-Para this morning and it was heck hard. The professor who's handling us this semester is the known "terror" professor in the whole arts and science department. Last semester, she had 40 students and only 18 passed her class. Hahahaha! Super.. By the looks of the first quiz which was 70items already awhile ago, I don't think she's that hard, the only thing with her is that she is bookish, and I like bookish teachers cause aside from the fact that reading comprehension is what I'm good at, this costly book will be put into very good use. Naku noh, ang mahal kaya ng lintik na librong to noh! Hahahaha!

Thank goodness I have no class every Friday, time to unwind... I hope the super typhoon doesn't hit Western Visayas. Rain, rain and more rain. Goodluck everyone! Stay inside. *winkz*

My Shadow.

Today was an ordinary day. The sky was gray, with scattered rain showers here and there. I was sad and I don't know why. I just feel a little bit under the weather, its like the weather is favoring my mood today. As much as I love my friends for being there for me, but still..they cannot suffice the longing for love, care and comfort of family and a loved one. And at the end of the day, when all the smiles and laughters shared by my friends are gone.. I go home, go straight to my room and the sadness still empowers me.

I hate this feeling.

Rock Attack!

Last Friday, I watched the Parokya ni Edgar and Kamikazee rock attack concert at the Iloilo Capitol Grounds together with my amiga. The weather was unpredictable as always but the show did go on anyway. It was OK, I mean not that I've never seen these bands play in Cali before but they were much more enthusiastic there in the states and the crowd were really rockin' with them compared to what I've seen back here. Ang mahal ng palakpak ng mga tao dito sa Pinas! I mean I saw that they appreciated the performances very much but they were just so hypocritical about clapping or they found applauding so appalling and corny. Anyway, there were 6 front acts before the main bands, and I can say Pinoys really are talented artists. They put their hearts, souls and dedication in whatever they do. Well done.

PAROKYA & KAMIKAZEE VIDEO

Whining Baby.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday... what do you know. Finally! Tomorrow is back to school. Aw, what a feeling of relief to the boredom I've been having lately. This was the boringest, loneliest sembreaks I've ever had. Ugh seriously dude. As much as I hate hitting the books again and back to being a "nerd", I have no choice but to embrace it as a good thing. At least I can get out of the house and do something worthwhile of my existence aside from lying down in bed, pigging out, and watching anxiously as the clock turns so slowly.

Reasons for my insanity over this dreaded sembreak???

• My sis and broh (my travel buddies) are thousand miles away from me.
• My high school friends are busy.
• My school mates are off to their provinces.

So you very well picture out why I nag so much about this. Plus I didn't get to go anywhere at all, which drained down my enthusiasm even more. What happen to the Little Miss Traveler in me. Ugh. I hope Christmas break will be more interesting than this, which reminds me that I might not be going back home to spend the holidays (it's starting to suck already huh) coz of the tight budget and tax month on January. Either way, even though I may not have the luxury of being back in Cali this holiday, I can still spend it well here, or somewhere outta here. I'm getting tired of the routine stuffs already. I'm not that kind of person to linger on routine stuffs. I easily get bored and well, my feet start to itch.

Personal Book Review - Twilight

Out of boredom I decided to read this book my sister insisted me on bringing with me here in PI. She said although it's a young adult novel round her age, she was so sure I'll get hooked up with it. And surely I was. I couldn't put the damn book down. Hahaha. Its a story about a teenager with a vampire for a boyfriend and a werewolf for a best friend. Interesting ain't it? Poor kid you say, but I swear the teenager 'Bella' is one of the open-minded teenagers out there. There's a lot of twists and turns, how bloodsuckers and dogs are sworn enemies according to history (they go way back) and how they have treaties and stuffs. You see I don't know much about "the others" out of the norms though they may or may not be only legends, myths or whatever you call them but still, I'm intrigued all around.

The secret love, hushed affection and dark romance kept my night light on till the wee hours of the morning, if not for my errands every morning, I wouldn't even dare sleep till I finish the whole damn book. Silly me. There's the second book, New Moon, and 3rd, Eclipse. I'm actually on the third. There's a 4th coming out summer of next year, and also a movie is on the making to be released 2010 I think. Hahaha. Hope I'm not that busy when that year comes. Well, I guess I just didn't have anything else to do over the sembreak so I found joy in this book. But I do recommend ya'll to read this if you can get a hold of a copy, cool read really.

What's Up With My Friends Today?

Early this morning (9am is still early for me hehe), my cellphone was already bombarded by text messages and sad to say I haven't placed it in a mode conducive for sleeping and so it alerted what seemed to be like every minute. So with my eyes still closed, I tapped the space beside me for my annoying cellphone. I was about to read it when I can't seem to open my right eye! I was like damn, this is not good. I jumped out of my bed and headed to the mirror. There it was, my right eye soring red.. ARRGGGGHHH!!! "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!" was the first sentence I muttered today. I have a sore right eye. I didn't know where I got it from, probably from the jeepney I rode yesterday after I went to mass, or wherever. I can't seem to get away with this virus everytime, this is my second time this year (when I went home in PI) that I had gotten this dreaded thing.

Good thing I still have Maxitrol... yeah I recommend this eye drop because it works faster than 2days max, trust me. Although you have to really follow the dosaging and instructions since this medication is a bit strong, duh that's why it's heck effective too. So back to the hoarding messages, it was all invitations.. OH GOODY! One was from Ching which was quite of a short notice, luncheon for her lola's anniversary and also her very late birthday celebration and the second one was from my friends in class, inviting me to go swimming with them. I loved to go to these two events if it weren't for my damn ailments. So I replied NO to the invitations of course. Now my other friends who were also invited to the said events mentioned texted if I was coming. When I told them NO I WASN'T COZ I HAVE SORE EYES, they texted back that they weren't coming too since I'm not coming. I was like whhaaaaatttttt?!?!?!?!

Since when did I become so special that I have the last say on things these days...They just said it wasn't fun enough if I weren't around. Well duh, I'm not exactly fun, I'm quiet as a mouse my existence won't even be noticed till I do something clumsy and they're saying it's no fun without me. HAHAHA! So funny my friends.. all of my friends actually had the same reaction. The swimming invitation was supposed to be cancelled too coz I wasn't gonna come, until I pleaded it will make me feel bad if it wasn't pushed through just cause I wasn't coming.

Oh brotha! What have they all eaten today??? Probably it's the election going on that's making them weird.

I merely shrugged my shoulders and heave a little chuckle. *winks*

La..di..di..da..da..

Happy Sunday everyone! Did you, Catholics, go to church today? You should have. I didn't know it was nice to hear mass in the morning, it's so refreshing. I attended the 10:30am mass by the way, not the usual 4:30 or 5:30pm mass. I went with a friend and so I was obliged to wake up early *grins*. But as I said, I liked it, so I'm going to make it a 10:30am Sunday habit already, woohoo!

I missed a call from Daddy today, he then texted he'll try to call again tomorrow. I guess I was busy rummaging the ukay2x at SM (it was the last day sale) that I lost track of my beeping cellphone my bad *winks* Sucks I didn't have much allowance left to really do some major shopping, what do ya expect, it's still sembreak, no allowance haha! I can't wait till Tuesday, so that I can already enrol. I still have 2 minor 1st year subjects to take, imagine! And to think I'm already loaded with my block subjects. Which I am happy about actually so that it'll pre-occupy my lagging life.

Can't wait to attend my cousin's wedding next January hehe, I know it's a long way to go, but I am excited cause I'm the "wedding singer" haven't done anything like that in years! Bit rusty so I have to brush up a bit. I'm still looking for an accompaniment since musical instruments and I clash so much. haha. Probably my uncle will do the honor. That, I'm looking forward. Which brings me to the fact that I'm not even sure yet if I can go home this December, the ratings' down and this awful things happening in our country again. Scary. Sad.

Welcome to tight security again. I should say.

Oh My Bug!

I'm having a bit of a sore throat and tonsilitis and it's difficult to swallow even just my own saliva. Arrggghh. This is the boringest weekend ever, I don't know how many more of this boring days could I take besides the fact that even malling or window shopping I'm not even the slightest bit of enthusiastic about it. I'd still rather stay home and change the skins of my, I forgot how many, sites I have in the cyberworld. And I still my VW bug is still under major reconstruction. Which brings me, maybe you can help me decide which color should I paint my vintage 1973 VW bug with. I mean I already have a color in mind but let's see how you'd want it colored. It was a RED-ORANGE before.

I know some are awesome bugs but I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHICH COLOR WOULD YOU PREFER if you were me. Just for fun!
1.
2.
3.
4.

I know there are a lot more colors to choose from, but those are the colors I want you guys to decide from. Comment starts now. LOL.

Thinking Of You.

You're the first thing I think of
Each morning when I rise
You're the last thing I think of
When I close my eyes

You're in each thought I have
And every breath I take
My feelings are growing stronger
With every move you make

You're an angel from above
who takes away my pain
My love for you is so strong
It's always just the same

You're the miracle in my life
Who can always make me smile
Just knowing that you care
Makes my life worth-while

You've touched my heart and soul
Which you have from the start
Your warm soft words
Will never leave my heart

You are everything I want
You're so pure and true
I love you with everything I have
And I love everything that you do.

It's Real.

I don't know how to react when we went to one of our professor's house the other day to try to catch him to sign our clearance which he was supposed to be the one signing in school but due to the fact that he was running for barangay kagawad in their barangay we decided to visit his place instead 'cause he was probably heck busy.

Not that we were eeky about it, but to our surprise he lives in a major squatter's area, the narrow way was dirty, and the neighboring people though friendly, we're looking kinda like those seen on the news. Since he was running for candidacy, the people there knew where his house was. As we approach his house their were little stickers of his name and face on most of the walls and gates and doors.

We stopped at the red grilled door and saw his purple barong hanging on their wall inside and said to ourselves, this was the place.

It was a rundown. As we peeped through the opened door, we saw how poor our professor was. I, myself, knew that being a teacher didn't pay much but I never expected this kind of situation from a professor who's about to graduate from his doctorate degree.

Tsk..Tsk..Tsk.. I felt a pang of pity and sadness to this professional. We always laugh at him because he's this kind of professor who sells snacks to his students every break time and you can also pay it later if you don't have enough money. Just list it as debt. I never understood those times why this professor would do that...but now I know.

Real people living in real situations such as this.

Damn.

Stellar Grade

Ampf! Clearance week...I hate the signing of clearance part of school, coz its suppose to be sembreak already but still we have to go to school coz of this clearance thingahmajig. But in fairness, I conquered my forseen grade of UNO! haha. Thanks to the mornings and afternoons in Bo's Coffee Club..their caffeine didn't let me down haha!

I still have to finish up my lab manual and drawing, stupid prof, didn't give us the table of contents for the drawings he wanted us to submit, now we're like crazy drawing everything in a supposed to be sembreak already. Gosh, I need to get this done by tomorrow or Friday morning coz next week is already enrollment week. See how fast it is????!!! Arrrgghhh. But I like it anyway, coz don't like staying home much, it's boring. Like to have school so as time will fly by fast and I can graduate already and earn! hehehe. Yeh yeh life must go on still! mwaaaahhh.

Nyt Everyone!

Beachy Party Sembreak 07

WOoh! Kapoy (tiring)! We went to the beach today and it was loads of fun! I haven't been to the beach since I got here in the Philippines and it felt good yesterday. I missed the dark sandy beach. hahaha! Medyo sawa na kasi ako sa white eh..para maiba naman. whehe! Anyway, I thought only a few people will go, but it turned out we had quite a number of people who came. Thanks guys for coming and having fun.

In Bullet Form.

* Sembreak na woohoo!

* 5 days to go and mah boo's coming home! (onli for a few days, but the heck! hehe)

* Beach outing tomorrow!

* Octoberfest this weekend!

* Clearance signing and getting of grades...yikes did I pass kaya?

Those are the things and moments I'm looking forward this week. I can't wait, let's make it rockin! \m/

Still Yawning.

Multi tasking again so early in the morning. I'm reviewing for an achievement test on Monday which was pretty much random since my professor texted me last night he'll be having one aside from the final exam we'll be having tomorrow that was already scheduled beforehand. Arrrggghhh. Good thing he believes in my capabilities that he warned me he'll be giving one on Monday.. hahaha! As usual...high expectation he doesn't want me to fail. hahaha!

My dad texted me so early in the morning today, probably that's why I wasn't able to get back to sleep again. He just texted because he misses me and he said both he and mom were busy working the past weeks. He asked me how my grades were, how I'm doing and that business isn't good, dollar is down and so probably my volkswagen will still be pending its repair.

If only I had a part time job or something right now so as I can buy myself a secondhand car or something huhuhu sucks not having a car while you're wearing all white everyday and having this big huge bag that makes me look like a person who goes around yelling "mam, sir, special offer!" hahaha! Man..I missed it back home. Everything is just within reach there. If you want to work, you just passed your resume wherever and in the next 3days they'll call you if you can already work that day. What a luxury. Here? All I do is eat and sleep and be pampered by our helper. It bugs me sometimes. Any of you watching KC Concepcion show? In Pinas she's a princess but back in Paris, she has to do everything on her own, learn everything on her own and live like other people would. That's how I feel. Guess I still haven't adjusted back to this two worlds I'm blessed to be experiencing yet. Why did I even decide to go back here? hahaha! All I know is that God made it possible for me to finish my mission here. He directed me another path to try my luck and see how it works. He is the only one who knows my whole story.

Anyway, I only had a few hours of sleep since I still chilled out with my girlfriends last night, had some drink or two but it wasn't the usual bar mixed drinks,twas beer..so my girlfriends were kinda drunk and fast. hahaha! I didn't know what's gotten into them last night, they ordered beer for some reason. They don't usually do that but I didn't mind at all. Whatever hehe. I even drove myself home that night coz the owner of the car, was still shaking herself out of the booze she drank and I live the farthest, so she had time to recuperate a bit. Sucks I can't speed up too much though coz the passengers were already lightheaded and they know my reputation when you put me on the wheels..so half the time they we're telling me to slow down. Man, I missed my sports car. *winkz*

BUTTERFLY KISSES.

Because of the sole request of my blind bloggista friend and he really did admit he's blind which I quote him saying

pakichange naman ng font ng blog mo, di ko mabasa, bulag ako bulag..

, I decided to put his misery away. Kawawa naman hindi na cya makapagcomment ng maayos. haha! O ayan na keloyd, masaya ka na??? Actually I kinda like my new layiee, I love butterflies and this fits. So gay nga lang ang color, pink.. hehe ok lang, punkista naman ang dating.

Anyway, I was pissed on our finals awhile ago, I thought I got it all in the bag, ang buwisit...hirap pala ng TRUE/FALSE on both lecture and skills! While my classmates were stuck in identification and matching, ako ni simpleng T/F hindi pa ako sure! haha. Kakaloka. Pero hayaan mo na, pasado na ako dun. Don't really wanna concern myself with grades, kanila na lang yan! Although...we still have to go back next Thursday for our overall grades and evaluation...arrrggghhh eh kung bumaba nga ako, I'm sure they will very much tease me. Hirap kasi maging UNO haha. Kakabuwisit emaintain.

Since sembreak na, I'll try making some poems again, napansin ko, whenever I'm inlove I can't seem to write a poem about it, or how I'm feeling. Mas masarap kasi gumawa ng poem na bitter ka. haha mas may dating. Nakokornihan ako kung inlove eh. haha. Pero try ko nga. ANONG PLANS KO THIS SEMESTRAL BREAK???? Well, gusto kong gumala, go to a place or something..alam mo naman ako, makate lagi ang paa. Gusto ko sana Tagaytay, lalo pa't na feature to minsan sa RATED K na maganda at parang HongKong style kasi may cable cars. Hindi pa kasi ako nakakasakay dun haha patawad po. hehe! Meron pa nga akong gusto, Asian countries naman sana ang titirahin ko... kaya lang la akong enough budget.... HMMMM... makahingi nga. try lang. hahaha!

I'm ssoooooo borrreeedddd.. MagBORACAY na lang kaya ako. Pwede rin! haha. Naku puro plano. Meron naman kayang patutunguhan to. *rolling eyes and smiles*

Oooovvveerrrrr ha.

Pumunta ako ng school maski wala naman kaming class today coz nagtext sa amin ang class chairman kahapon na pinapapunta kaming section J sa school dahil our adviser wants to give out our prelim and midterm grades. Nung kaharap ko na ang adviser namin kanina:
Sir Ace: "Oh kailangan mo pa ba malaman ang grade mo?" sabay smile sa akin.

Naku ha.. pupunta pa ba naman ako doon kung ayokong malaman ang grades ko helloo. But anyway tuloy smile pa rin ako at he continued, saying:

Sir Ace: "Ms. Moieee I'm sad because bumaba ang grades mo this midterm."

Biglang sumikip ang dibdib ko at napalulon ng laway,

Moieee: "Talaga Sir? Bakit ano po ba ang mga grades ko?"

Sir Ace: "Nung prelims, 95 ka, ngayong midterms eh 94 ka na lang."

Imbis na nanlaki ang aking mga mata sa gulat, naningkit sa katatawa inside! Ok lang cya?!?! yun lang sad na cya??? Ala eh kala ko ba naman eh kung gaano na kababa eh!

Moieee: "What??? 1 point lang, ngee you made it sound like ang baba ng binagsak Sir."

At dagdag sabi pa niya before ako umalis na dapat itaas ko daw ang grades ko sa finals. Nagpasalamat ako at nung mga malayo-layo na ako sa office, sabay napatawa ako ng malakas, di ko na kinaya ang pagka-OA nang aking mga clinical instructors and adviser. Buti naman sana kung may ka amor-amor ako sa mga honor honor na yan eh, wala naman! At saka d rin naman pwde kasi transferee ako. I just want to pass. Bahala na ang award at kung ano pa dyan, mahalaga sa akin ngayon is to earn my degree. *winks*

Tinawanan din ako ng aking dalawang matalik na kaibigan at classmates, sabi nila, kung sa grades ko pa nga lang eh SAD na ang mga CI's and adviser namin, pano na lang pla yung mga hindi ko masayadong ka level. Waaaahhhhh.

Haii grabe! I love to be on the top, but the pressure as you can very well read will kill me. I hate to be on the spotlight, because everything is counted, everything is noticed, everything matters in that world. So as much as possible, I don't want to be suctioned towards that way. But I'm afraid they won't stop pressuring me. I already have my parents hovering pressure at my back eventhough they rarely show it, so I don't need them to add on to that pressure too. Damn.

Welcome to the World

I went to Duenas, Iloilo and attended a Christening celebration of my godson, JJ. His mother's province was there and it was their Patronal Fiesta as well so they just made it into a double celebration. It was my first time there. Duenas is the place that is said to be inhabited by one of the famously known aswang, Tinyente Gimo, who lures new virgin travelers to their place and feast on them. haha! Creepy I know, but the story may indeed be true 'coz he really has a house there, Nang Jenny, JJ's mom had said. She said that aswang still has relatives who lives there so nobody really knows, and I,myself, don't want further scary stories. Scarreeedeccaatt! St. Jerome Parish Church is one of the oldest churches in Iloilo. The inside may be a bit rusty and needed some rennovations here and there, but the outside stands beautiful against a fair weather. The Christening I attended was a massive one, 50 little ones were christened that day. JJ isn't my first godchild, but it was probably my first time to attend a christening ever. Lagi na lang proxy kasi busy pa ako noon so absent palagi hehe. I'm proud to be JJ's godmother. *winks* Gosh, I'm really old already.

September's Almost Over.

Happy birthday to my bestfriend and best bud, Ecko! Love yah lil broh! Just don't grow up so fast ayt...See you soon!

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This week was helluv a busy week. Pre-fi's were too much, and there's still more to come in the coming weeks since semestral break is fast approaching, woohoo! Not that I'm excited or anything but my boo said he'll be going home this October, hopefully he does. Man, I miss him soooo bad already. I hate that our relationship is like this, long distance, but if God wills it and it's for the better good of our future, I'll take it. Nakakamiss lang cya grabehhh! hehe.

Anyway, our A&P professor, who look much like shrek, gave me 2 of our pre-fi's test papers to be checked. Imagine he let me check everything and grade everything, ang tamad-tamad ng buwisit! But I don't care anymore, I don't have anything to do at home so whatevah.

I had fun tonight, well, awhile ago actually, with mah gurls. We celebrated one of us chickas birthday and it was a blast. It's a girls night out. The details of what happened, well, stays in that place. haha joke. No really, we just had a good time, had some drinks but since I'm the counterpart of Cinderella, I went home around 12. It's not curfew or anything, and mah boo doesn't mind me staying late out, but I just wanna limit myself, coz it's hard to stop once I get use to it. So, iwas gulo lang po ako.

I'm going to Duenas to attend a Christening of my godson, JJ, Joshua Lourenz Valguna. hehe. Ninang ako woohoo! Laking pagkakamali haha joke! I'm sooo honored. It's the nephew of a good friend of mine and she's a godmother as well, so it's cool! So gotta park my laptop for awhile coz I need some serious rest, early to wake up later! shucks. hehe.

Nyt for me, Good morning to yall.

Stranded.

The rain is starting to get on my nerves! It's been raining nonstop for the last 2 weeks. Arrrrggghhh. And our stupid professor had a class today, with all this rain and flooding in some areas, including the area where I'm from. I was absent, yey whatever. At home, it wasn't flooded or anything but outside our gate, whew, talk about major knee deep, tsk..tsk..tsk.. I can't go outside to take a picture of the flood but there's nothing fancy about it so I didn't even bother. I was bored to death. I think this heavy rain pour is only happening here, mah boo in manila told me it was just gloomy and drizzles over there. Haii life, didn't do anything productive this week because of this hassle although I did get the tv cable installed so that should do it for this major boredom for quite a bit but didn't do much still hehe. I hate the rain when it's becoming a nuisance already. I mean I like the cold weather major plus for sleeping soundly but for the whole 2 weeks?!?! OMG you'll be freaking out as well.

I heard from one of my close friends that she was admitted in the hospital coz of dehydration. Poor em2x, get well soon dear! Anyway, I have ocular visit duty tomorrow, so I'm hoping the rain will cooperate already. I miss the sun. Where art thou?!

Sweet dreams everyone! Have a wonderful weekend ahead.

Waaaaahhh.

haiiii soooo kulit this gals talaga! sabi ba naman parang NOVEL na daw tong blog ko at pwede ng e-publish haha. la lang post ko lng ang picture nilang dalawa para naman bahagi na sila ng novel na sinasabi nila. haha. love ya gays!

Ocular Visit.

Last Friday, we had an ocular visit to some of the hospitals here in our province. I had fun eventhough my mind was torn between the midterm exam after the visit. Funny because I found out some interesting things that day. Interesting enough that I even called up my mom just to tell my experiences and she just laughed at my remarks. Well, I just told her that when I was in the ward, I thought I was riding a ship and went up a flight of stairs to the economy area, where I saw so many people in bunk beds with almost no space to roam around. There were more visitors of patients than there were patients. And it was chaotic like a swarm of bees buzzing. Seriously. Haha. As our clinical instructors introduced to us several more areas and departments, we came across an Isolation room, well that's what the wall said. Since my classmates didn't have a clue as to what's in an iso room, they were too eager to peep thru that divided wall. Yup why do I keep on repeating the word "wall" right? It's because there were no doors nor a sign that says keep out, contagious area or something! After my classmates asked what's an isolation room and got their answer, they stopped on their tracks, and you can really see horror in their faces as they stepped back from that wall and rushed to were I was... away from that wall. haha! Sooo funny really! They were shocked and was cautious from then on.

A lot has happened there and more bloopers too. There's really a BIG..WAY BIG difference from the hospitals in the city. Sometimes we are so spoiled with a good life that we forget that there's more out there yet undiscovered that will give us good realizations and can better confront us of the reality of life. *smile*

Update!

Sooooo sorry to you bloggers out there, I was sooooo busy when I got back here in PI. It's still midterms week this week and it's far from over coz the difficult subject is yet to come tomorrow! And to think we have community health nursing in the morning tomorrow. Hai naku. Life of a nursing student, the best!

Anyway, "KELOYD" ang munting prinsipe, can't make up his mind whether or not he's coming here in Lilo or in La Union. He has this impulsive nature (scaaaarrrrryyyyy!) hehe. "Just kidding pare, cge sa october ka na lang nga talaga pumunta dito para ako naman ang wala!" haha. He actually just wants to come over here and drink some beer with Lib and I. How fun. Wish you'll also come here in Lilo Kathie when Keloyd comes over so that I have somebody to talk to over iced tea and bottomless. Haha!

Further more, since I can't stay long blogging coz of midterms shit, I just want to air out that I'm missing mah boo sooooo much already. Don't know when he's coming back, since they're still busy in Manila doing work related stuff. Sometimes, as cheerful and smiley person as I am, I can't hide the sadness behind every smile anymore, "nakakapagod din magsmile na in reality your longing for him." It's ok, that's life, and God has a reason for everything. I believe He has a good reason for this too.

I hate to park my laptop but I really have to go for now. Gotta study!!! Good luck to me! Take care everyone! Missin yah!

Welcome back Moieee.

Sept 1 (Saturday) - My cousins dropped me off at the new Iloilo Airport around 930am. I checked thru my luggage so that I won't have to go thru the hassle of checking in again in Manila. When I arrived NAIA, my boyfriend and I spent half the day going around Mall of Asia with his dad. I had so much fun just being with him, even doing nothing. Just the thought of him, hugging me, holding my hand and making me feel secure were all that mattered to me that day. They toured me around for awhile since my next flight to Los Angeles was still 10pm. My boyfriend will be attending a food and wine expo at the world trade center this week so he'll be staying in Manila for awhile. I don't know when he'll be back in Iloilo so I will miss him for sure. Gawd, I miss him already. The times we spend in each others' arms are the best feeling in the world, I wished I had the power to stop the time and just leave it to that for a very long time. They then dropped me off around 8pm back at the international airport. After I went thru the last security check for the night, I felt exhausted yet restless. And before I placed my phones into roaming, I called my boo for the last time that night and said our heartfelt 'see ya laters' to one another.

The travel time was approximately 12 hours and it was rather a turbulent flight around the wee hours of the morning when we passed the international date line. I was sitting directly infront of the television which was awesome coz I had extra leg room but the teenager beside me was rather annoying coz she spent half the time lying on my shoulders. I had to simply clear my throat or moved a couple of times so as to shove her off to her side. I feel uneasy when it comes to those kinds of people but since I'm good hearted, I don't embarrass them directly like others would if they were in my situation.

Sept 1 *USA* - The plane touched down around 730pm. But it took me awhile inside the airport becoz there was hella freakin long wait at the baggage claim area for my luggage. Since my luggage was checked thru from the province it was piled at the very last. Imagine it took me 2 hours just waiting for it and another 30minutes lining up at the customs for clearance. By the time I saw my family, it was a stunning 10pm already. It was great seeing them all again. They even brought a "WELCOME HOME ATE!" banner with their pictures on it. It was cool. I missed them sooo much!

Anyway, we ate our late dinner at Denny's 24hr Diner. I was starving and tired but happy to see all of them once again. My siblings were the happiest of them all, telling me their nonstop experiences from school and stuffs. I even missed the corny jokes dad always tell and mom's questions about everything. I missed the noisy atmosphere when I'm with my family. I'm glad I'm back.

Wake Me Up When September Ends.

Kayo ba ang taong mapagbigay, maunawain, at feeling nyo mas sobra pa ang binibigay nyong pag-aaruga kaysa natatanggap nyo? Yun bang parang taken for granted na kayo minsan? Ang unfair noh? Kun kailangan ka nya, nandoon ka, gagawa at gagawa ka ng paraan para lang maging available, pero kung ikaw naman ang may kailangan parang ang hirap pang mabigay sayo. Pero ok ka pa rin ng ok kasi naiintindihan mo naman ang sitwasyon. San ka na lang ba lulugar sa mga ganitong eksena ng buhay? Tama pa ba eto?

May tendency akong ma over sa understanding, kahit alam kong parang hindi na tama, pero since merong reason, at sa akin eh valid naman, ok na sa akin kahit na minsan sumasama ang loob ko kasi mas napapaboran pa ang iba kaysa sa akin o kaya deprived ako to deserve the same kind of treatment din. Pero hindi kasi ako sakim na tao kaya kung mga tungkol sa pamilya o mga kaibigan, hindi ako masyadong nakikialam kasi alam ko namang mas matimbang ang dalawang iyon kaysa sa akin na bagong salta lamang. Nasasabihan na ako minsan ng mga kaibigan ko na paminsan minsan hayaan ko naman daw na ako naman ang bigyan ng pansin, ng importansya hindi na hihintayin ko pa kung kelan lang mabibigay sa akin coz I'm the type of person who deserves more than that. Pero everytime na sinasabihan nila ako ng mga ganito, I just give them my usual smile and say nothing at all.

Pero napapaisip ako minsan na parang ganito na lang lagi ang papel ko, "ang umintindi."

Haii pasensya na malapit na kasi dumating ang more challenges pagpasok ng buwan ng september. Parang ayoko ng magising.

Collision

AY GRABE! The impact was scary. I was shivering still. What an experience. The motorcycle that collided with my vintage volkswagen was a nightmare..those stunts you see in movies..damn, it can really happen. Good thing the man didn't fly away (if ya know what I mean). It was his fault. He was speeding so fast he didn't see me coming or maybe he did see me coming out from an intersection but thought to himself he can speed around me. DAMN! His motorcycle slammed on the driver side. My side. Buti na lang hindi talaga sa door ko, more on the little front of my door; little infront of me. My side mirror broke, good thing nakasunglasses ako that time at hindi na paano ang aking mata, pumunta kasi sa loob ang mga bubog. Grrr..

The coast was clear talaga, at ang layo pa ng motor kaya I decided to go for it. Hayy whatever. The damage is done. I'm okay though, that's what's important I guess. Parang 2nd life ko na to, haven't been in a near accident na ako talaga yung tinamaan. Call myself lucky sometimes but luck has its toll pa rin. Im just glad mine worked this time.. Mahirap na ang layo ko pa sa pamilya ko. I dont want them to worry about me as much as possible pero, accident is an accident.

Hirap nga dahil wala akong pasensya sa mga ganitong bagay mag asikaso. Tapos ako lang mag-isa, now I know how hard it is to be alone and independent. Noon gusto ko pero parang napapasabi rin ako, "wait lang..parang hindi na to tama." Haaaii..

Blowing the Dark Cloud Away.

I said to myself the last time, I'll be ready for this consequence.

At hindi talaga ako nagkamali, dumating na ang kinakatakutan kong attitude ng mga "ex" na manggugulo sa relationship na hindi nila nakayang e-handle noong time nila! Siguro masyado na akong experienced sa ganitong bagay that's why I was expecting this already. At sabi ko na nga ba. Ano ba naman yan...pagsubok na naman. Ganyan ba talaga...kapag everything is doing great, you're happy and everything, meron talagang eeksena ng wala sa oras noh? Nakakabuwisit!

Nakakatuwa lang kasi ang mga attitude ng mga ganitong "ex"....very classic moves ang mga ginagawa nila. Yun bang, nagpaparamdam galore! Kunwari nangangamusta, kunwaring concern, kunwaring nagpapasalamat but you know what all these are? A hoax! Or in simpler term, a joke! Eh hellooo....hindi ka nga naremember nung mga time na nagbreak kayo tapos ngayong meron kanang special someone ulit, saka naman sila lumitaw sa eksena?????!!!! Wow grabe ha, ako ay dakilang manhid pero sa mga ganitong bagay, masyadong mataas ang IQ ko para hindi man lang ma notice ang mga ganitong umaaligid-ligid na ugali. Kung hindi nyo pa to naiintindihan well pwes....eto na yun!

Hindi ako selosang tao. Pero 'wag mo lang akong biruin sa ganitong mga bagay at baka hindi mo pa kilala ang isang Aquarian. Magbasa kayo ng Astrology eventhough there is no such science named Astrology but what's being said there, can strongly relate to your personality most of the time. I'm a very open-minded person, kaya kakayanin ko to. Kung baga, expected ko na eh, sa paghahandle na lang yan. I hope I can, because its hard for Aquarians to trust someone...but once the trust is given, Aquarians are very loyal. And I am one.

It's Love.

It is Love that gives me purpose
to change and grow and learn.
It is Love that guides me on this path
and helps me choose each turn.

It is Love that gives me courage
to stand against my fears;
to open up my heart to you,
to let you see my tears.

It is Love that gives me trust and hope
when little thing go wrong.
When distance stands between us,
it is Love that keeps me strong.

It is Love that offers harmony
and a friendship that is true.
How wonderful that I can share
a Love like this with you!

a 2nd Courser and from States.

Now I know why mah mum reminded me to be discreet about telling people that I'm from the states and all.

OMG... Last Friday was our first return demonstration on the components of universal precaution (handwashing,wearing of surgical cap,mask,gown blah blah blah) and of course holding on to an "A" last name is always a given to be the first on the list to be tortured. Hehe, why am I not surprise!

But it did went well, thank goodness the C.I.(clinical instructor) who got me was rather nice and patient. She even taught me a few tips and techniques so as not to confuse myself with so many procedures. It's been weird in the school lately. Or maybe I'm just paranoid but I think my professors and clinical instructors are observing me closely. Since I'm probably one of the top students, a second courser from the states...I have a feeling they are watching my every moves. Paranoid as I can be, I can't help but noticed that. I don't know other C.I.s' but they somehow acknowledge or know me. Hmmm. Nah..erase erase! I hope not. I hope they don't expect so much of me. You see not because I'm humble, but I just don't want to be recognized much, not really into the glitz and glam of school life though many crave to be, but I just don't want to be in those positions wherein they expect you to perform 100% in everything you do.

All I know is I'm doing the best I can. That's it. I even told my friend Nes, who's also a 2nd courser herself and she agreed too. She is the class chairman, our president in our section and she kinda feels the same way that professors and C.Is' are watching our every move. Damn this pressure. Haha. I'm not rooting to be on the top, it's just I study well I guess. I have all the inspirations in the world right now and everything is working well for me I guess. Dramas hehe. Maybe I'm paranoid.

Oh well it's still the prelims. Let's wait and see for the midterms and finals. Wooh!

Be Observant.

There are a lot to understand when it comes to girls' languages and signs. So GUYS! Pay attention closely to the following:

• WHEN i RUN AWAY FROM YOU -- follow me!
  
  
• WHEN i POUT MY LiPS -- kiss me!
  
  
• WHEN i KiCK -- hug me tight!
  
  
• WHEN i CALL YOU CRAZY -- I'm crazy for you!
  
  
• WHEN i AM SiLENT -- I'm thinking of how to say I LOVE YOU!
  
  
• WHEN i iGNORE YOU -- I want all your attention!
  
  
• WHEN i PULL AWAY -- grab me by the waist & tell me YOU'LL NEVER LET ME GO!
  
  
• WHEN YOU SEE ME AT MY WORST -- tell me I'm beautiful!
  
  
• WHEN i SCREAM AT YOU -- tell me you love me!
  
  
• WHEN YOU SEE ME WALKiNG -- sneak up behind me & hug me tight!
  
  
• iF I DONT CALL YOU -- I'm waiting by the phone for your call!
  
  
• WHEN i SAY "i DONT CARE" -- I do care!
  
  
• WHEN iM SCARED -- hold me by the waist!
  
  
• WHEN i LOOK LiKE SOMETHiNGS THE MATTER -- kiss me & tell me everything will be alright!
  
  
• WHiLE i HOLD YOUR HANDS -- play with my fingers!

So from now on, don't be afraid to show emotions. And most of all, don't hesitate to let your special someone feel that you love them so much. Coz you never know she might very well feel the same way you do.

ZZzzzz...

Lazy Sunday mornings, I love. Just finished prelims and my mind is chillaxin' right about now. No exams to worry about, no recitations to be anxious about, etc. Well except maybe one quiz on Wednesday in lieu of our professor absence the other week where she was supposed to give a quiz to add to our prelim grade. So far my sleepless nights have paid off. Still on the top, wooh hope this stat maintains.

I miss my family back in Cali. They went to Florida last week, summer vacation of the kids and I wasn't there with them, bummer, I haven't been to Florida yet. I missed one of our family trips. You see where I got my, "lil ms. traveler" title??? From them. We all love traveling and that's one of the things I inherited from them. Which got me into thinking...maybe I'll tour around ASIA for awhile, since I'm already here anyway. hehehe. Just maybe.

Hmm.. I think I'll sleep again. The weather is soooo hot right now, I wanna go out and go malling or something but I change my mind. I'd rather stay inside. Now you know why people can only see me at night.. hahaha. Ciao for now!

Inspired.

You came into my life unexpectedly,
and everything took a turn for the better.
Your warm eyes, your laugh,
the sincere way you speak,
and the kindness you showed me,
all became a part of my life.

As you unfolded yourself to me,
I discovered more and more beauty.
I have never seen so much
gentleness in one person.
Without even knowing it,
you were slowly making a place
for yourself in my heart.

It used to seem so hard at times
to feel so close in a relationship.
But it’s so easy to feel close to you.
I can’t tell you how nice that feels.
I realize now that I had never known
what it meant to be loved
until I was loved by you.

Highest.

Oral Graded Recitation.

I hate oral recitations probably since I was born! Seriously!?! I can write a whole page and more of something as an essay type or whatever but to be standing infront of a crowd, not knowing what questions might be asked is what I fear the most. This morning, I felt ill like I was gonna puke or something. I can't seem to concentrate on reviewing my notes because I just can't take the fact that we have to have this recitation thingamajig. You can really tell I was nervous as heck.

1pm came and the oral graded recitation started. It was draw lots, our professor assigned us numbers and as he picks out and calls on our numbers, we are to proceed infront and pick out a question from a box full of neatly folded white lil pieces of paper questions. I was like...bummer, I was never lucky at draw lots. It's either I get to be picked on first or I get to pick out the hardest question from the bunch. And my hunch was indeed true. The question I picked out was never on the notes our professor gave us, he didn't even really discussed anything about the question I picked. Well except maybe I scanned it from a lab manual before or something but really didn't read much into it coz it wasn't in the coverage of this said oral recitation. Everyone inside the class was instantly quiet (and being quiet doesn't always mean a good sign) as I gave back the piece of paper I picked to our professor who went on and read my question.

I was like, omigod! I knew it. And I'm an A student of that class, so bumming was not an option at all. Everyone was staring at me as I stare back at them translucently as I nervously try to recall the littlest details of what I read in pasing from that lab manual weeks ago. 4.0 from not answering a question was already bugging my mind. I was like, whatever, I'll just say what I know, stored knowledge so to speak, and I delivered it. As I finished reciting what I knew was the answer to that question, our professor nodded and signalled to the whole class, HIGHEST (1.5). I was shocked. Not because I'm humble enough but really I was shocked because I, myself, wasn't even the least satisfied of my own answer. I'm like, "dang!" So therefore I conclude that, it helps when the professor recognizes you from being good in class or attentive coz when it comes to clutch times such as this, he/she doesn't just recognizes you from that point per se, but it goes back to how well you grasp things that may or may not be totally discussed to you.

A good feeling. I've never been at this position before coz back then, I was just contented and happy knowing that I passed. But now, this is like a motivation that maybe I can really do it, just by studying well enough, I can reach not only contentment but great achievement. Woooh! Whatta day.

Ouch.

I can't change who I am, and neither can you.

I stumbled into a blog, of a friend of mine. One who I very much considered closest to me. I guess because we had this arguement back in the days that she had written an entry that I had just read now, that stabbed my heart to the deepest. I never thought she, of all people would really care, 'how to be jealous' of me. When in fact her life isn't much any different from mine, she was just too preoccupied trying to compare herself to me when infact she doesn't need to.

But I've already noticed this, long before her deeper emotions have surfaced out in the open. But I can't do anything about it because that's the life I have. And it's not my fault it turned out better than hers or anybodys. I didn't designed my life. It was given to me by our Father the Almighty and all I can ever do is thank Him always. If she thinks I got the better half of everything then she should tell all her comments to Him and not to me. But I don't blame her nor anybody, I already knew it from the start anyway, that people would want to see me fall on my face so that they can laugh so hard that will make them feel good about themselves coz they will feel superior or less of a loser. People would root for me to fail so that they can change their perception of me that I'm not so perfect after all and again be happy about it because they will see a part of them in me, a part that is 'not perfect' with their own eyes. But I laugh at those people who'd want to be in my shoes because it's not at all happy endings for me and cutesy patootsy blah blahs everyday. Well, that's what they see I guess, ' a carefree moieee who ramps around like this pretty lil icon, who can have all the good things anyone wishes just at a snap of her pretty lil fingers.' Full of SHIT.

Thinking about all those is only their loss coz the more they do that, the more they feel insecure about themselves and the more they feel miserable. I share my own miserability if there's any word like that. Maybe not as miserable as comparing their life to me kinda miserable but as I said, no matter how miserable I'd be I always get up, solve it and move on. I don't linger and bitch about others if I'm feeling miserable. Why include them? Why bitch about other people who didn't do anything to you except be nice to you, accepts you of who you no matter what, and never fails to enjoy your company and most importantly trusts you? Who treated you as a sister, a trusted friend, and a companion? Why can't they accept the fact that each of us has a different life no matter how alike we are in ways or how we strive to reach the same point and goal in life. I don't believe people cannot change. We can if WE WANT TO and if WE STRIVE TO MAKE BETTER. And instead of peeping thru other people's lives, why not peep thru yours, maybe you'll see what I see. A person who just misunderstands herself because she feels like everyone is better. But what she doesn't know is that, all she needs to do, is open her heart because she has good friends who would care to listen, guide and support her all the way. One doesn't need to be the center of attention to get what she/he wants all the time. One needs to accept who they are and take it from there. Push your strong assets and you will go far. Never let the good of somebody affect you, because you yourself are also capable of that 'good.'

Never in my life did I find a friend so honest as you. And I don't mind the things you've said. Even if you want me to be mad at you, you know I can't and you know I won't. Because fighting never solves anything and most especially because, I consider you as a true friend eventhough you have ill-thoughts of me. I just wished that you would stop being like that, you don't have to compare yourself to me because that is the saddest thing a person can do to one's self. Me of all people. It hard to take in. Parang ako na mismo ang nahihiya sa ginagawa mo, thinking na whenever I feel hurt, or sad or have problems, deep inside you are laughing like a hyena. Coz your happy seeing me miserable right? But I'm not mad. But definitely I'm sooooooo SAD. I guess now you can really dance your victory dance because I'm miserable knowing all these.

Stop.

ayyyyyyyy grraaaabbbbbeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!

Hindi ko na yata kakayanin ang mga pagsubok na binibigay sa akin ni Lord. I'm a woman of patience pero minsan nakakasawa na ha! Tigilan na to please. My lola's been hospitalized for almost 2 weeks na, tapos I'm having a hard time juggling school and errands in buying medicines at mga ano pang kailangang asikasuhin. Meron din namang pinapagawa sa akin ang daddy ko na kung ano-anong pinapabukas sa aking mga bank accounts. Halos lahat na yata ng banko dito eh, meron na ako. Tapos hirap pa magmanage ng pera, parang lagi na lang ata ubos, ako pa ang nagdadagdag minsan tapos pagagalitan pa ako, anak ng siopao naman talaga o! Ni halos wala na akong kinukuhang allowance eh.

Tapos dagdag problema pa ang personal life ko.

Lovelife...Kaya ayoko ng umasa sa ibang tao ng pagmamahal. Gusto ko yung kung may magmamahal man sa akin, eh yung talagang choice nya na mahalin ako, hindi yung ako pa ang aasa at maghihintay kung kelan nya to bibigay. Ayokong masanay tapos hindi pala makaya ang mga expectations ko sa love. Mahirap ako mainlove o mahulog. Kasi gusto ko kung ano ang pinapakita mo noon, eh ganun pa rin hanggang magpakailan man. Dont we all want that? need that? wish for that?

Friends...naku ha kakainis yung bf ng isang amiga ko, ako ang tinitira dahil nagaaway sila ng amiga ko eh pati ako gustong idamay leche kang alog (taga manila eh) ka! Buti na lang nirerespeto ko kaibigan ko kaya hindi ko pinapatulan yang lecheng yan! Baka makapatay ako oras na sumobra ang panglalait nya! Hindi nya pa kilala ang tunay na moieee, hindi at uumaatras to, maski lalake ka pa. Gung2x!

School...eto na lang ata ang OK at hindi pa naapektuhan (and I will try not to let everything affect this!) nabibilang ako sa isa sa mga top scorers sa buong sophomores. Yun na lang masaya na ako, kasi yun naman talaga ang inuwi ko dito, MAG-ARAL! at eto na lang ang last chance para maabot ko ang mga goals ko sa buhay. Minsan kasi sobra akong maalalahanin sa ibang tao na pnapabayaan ko na ang sarili ko.

Ganun ako kabait! Kaya ganito rin ang galit ko kapag feeling ko, wala ng natitirang konting consideration at paguunawa sa akin. Minsan naaawa nga ako sa mga taong close sa akin kasi dun ko sa kanila pinapalabas minsan. Sorry ha. Mahirap kasi ang nagiisa, hindi ako sanay na la akong maaasahan kundi ang sarili ko. Kasi ang mismong mga mahal ko sa buhay eh nagaaway pa at hindi nagpapansinan, cno kamo? ang daddy at ang auntie grace ko, away kapatid..panganay at bunso. Eh sympre sino ang kawawawa edi yung nasa gitna! AKO! kasi naman dalawa ang sinusunod ko ang daddy tapos ang auntie na close ko at legal guardian ko rin dito. Naku ha ang tatanda nyo na! haaaaiiiii kainis.

Minsan nga pagdating sa bahay, parang gusto ko na lang humiga sa kama, matulog at hindi na magising. Napapaisip ako, bakit pa ako pumunta dito kung problema lang din naman ang aabutin ko dito. Hindi na ako tinatantanan ng problema. Kahit saan binibuwisit ako! Homesick na nga ako, tapos lola ko nahospital pa, edi mas lalo ng walang tao sa bahay ngayon, wala akong makausap, wala akong makwentuhan ng araw2x... haiiii miss ko na mga kapatid ko, kahit engliserot engliserat yun at least if I need a hug binibigay nila...*crying*

Kaya tanong minsan ng mga kaibigan ko ba't lagi daw akong parating nasa labas, late na kung umuwi o lagi lang nagiinvite na kain dito, inom doon.. laging sagot ko naman "boring kasi eh" pero sa totoo lang gusto ko lang makakita ng tao, ng mga kaibigan dahil nalulungkot ako dito sa bahay, homesick tapos hindi ako sanay na walang makausap o mapakinggan. Hindi rin ako sanay na walang inaasikaso o walang ginagawa. Kaya kahit wala na akong pera, gusto ko pa rin lumabas kasi kahit papano masaya na akong makakita ng mga kaibigan. At least kahit 2 hrs o 3 hrs mawala ng saglit ang kalungkutan ko.

Matatawa at magugulat ang makakabasa nito na nakakakilala sa akin kasi hindi noticeable sa face ko na marami akong problema. Marunong kasi akong magtago, as much as possible ayaw kong mangdamay ng ibang tao. Kaya minsan etong blog lang ang only way to my true feelings.

ANg BuHay SiNgLe by McG

Bakit ba tuwing may “get2geder” ang mga tao, mapa-family reunion man or simpleng gimik barkada, ang unang tanong sayo ay “May boyfriend/girlfrend ka na ba?” at bago ka pa maka-sagot ay maririnig mo naman ang “Bakeet walaaaaaa??!” Hayyy, kelangan ba talagang may bitbit kang boylet sa mga occasions na ito? Pano kung wala talaga? Alangan namang makiusap pa ako sa mga “close” guy friends ko para magpanggap na “kami”?! Di naman ata tama yun, dee-bah? How I wish na sana mas maintindihan ng mga tao na sa mga panahon ngayon ay “accepted” na sa society na MEDYO made-delay ang pag-iisang dibdib ng mga kababaihan…especially girls like me who want to get into so many things all at the same time. I also wish that people would understand that OKEY LANG AKO and the rest of THE SAMAHANG MALAMIG ANG PASKO…Valentines day…Birthday…etc. I mean, we do get lonely once in a while…naiingit din dun sa may mga LOVELIFE…paminsan-minsan? kung minsan naman ay nagmumuni sa mga past kilig moments? but these lonely moments do not and will not make our “world” stop…

Isipin nyo nalang, na kung wala kaming mga single friends nyo, eh di wala kayong paghihingaan ng sama ng loob tuwing nag-aaway kayo ng boylet or girlet nyo? wala rin kayong “instant date” kung sakaling nangailangan kayo?…wala rin kayong mahihila sa mall para maghanap ng magandang regalo for your better-half pag xmas…o kaya pag bday nya? at ang pinaka-mahalaga sa lahat, wala kayong KAKAMPI if things between you and your labidabs don’t work out. Marami naman sa aming mga singles ay nakaranas na rin na “mainlav”…yun nga lang, obvious ba?????????? it all didn’t work out!

Pero di naman kami “bitter” o galit sa mundo? and totoo nga nyan eh mas lumalalim ang kahulugan ng “love” para s’amin. When you’re all by yourself, there’s more time to reflect and think what you really want it life. Mas naiisip mo kung ano ba talaga ang makakapagbigay ng tunay na ligaya sa’yo...at mas naiisip mo kung pano matutupad ang lahat ng mga pangarap mo. And while reflecting, we also get to imagine that we will, one day…end up with someone who will share those dreams with us.

Di naman sa nang-iinggit ako pero masaya rin ang buhay naming mga single…Biruin mo we can go out with anybody, anytime…that is. We can get into all kinds of things like go to the gym regularly…or get into all kinds of sports…or any “Self-enhancement” programs, etc…Medyo tipid din ang buhay single kasi la naman kaming poproblemahin tuwing Valentines day or Christmas? o diba ang saya?

Sa palagay ko naman ay lahat tayo ay may karapatang sumaya ke single man o attached ka. I guess may kanya-kanya lang tayong panahong lumigaya at Dyos lamang ang makapagsasabi…kung kailan nga dadating and oras na yon.

So, para sa mga kasalukuyang “ATTACHED”, I wish you all the luck and happiness. Should there be any problems, don’t forget that your SINGLE friends are always here for you!!!!!

Sa mga “bagong SINGLES” naman, wag nang magmukmok! Enjoy life…enjoy the single life!!! There are a lot of things that you will still discover. At tandaan mo, DI KA NAG-IISA!!! madami-dami tayo…hehehehe :)

At dun naman sa kapwa kong mga SINGLES? I hope that we are one in believing that we long for someone NOT BECAUSE WE WANT TO BE HAPPY but we long for someone because we want to share our happiness with that special person for the rest of our lives…

Vanilla o Chocolate?

My buddy Nes, made a serious comment to me one day and I quote:

Girl, you are torn between a possible Soulmate and a possible Destiny.

As I was driving home, I smiled thinking about what she said. I do believe I've heard this comment once from one of John Lloyd and Bea's movie but it was just in a different context, "You are torn between a habit and a ______" I forgot what Bea's sister said to her but its like that.

It's true. It doesn't mean that if you found your soulmate you should forever spend your lifetime with that person. But how can you choose who to spend it with if you possibly have two different persons for two different titles arriving at almost the same time in your life?

I don't want to hurt anybody, but someone is destined to get hurt anyway. I think I'm being unfair because I'm playing with fire. But some say I'm lucky I have two eligible bachelors trying to capture my heart, and loving me more than anything(which I've always wanted btw). Myee, one of my closest, told me that it's not a problem, it's only a situation for attractive singles like me. I was like are you insane??!?! hehehe.

Ang hiling ko noon kay Lord kasama ng aking quest of finding myself and finishing my goal in life is to meet the one person who will love me more than words and actions can ever say in this lifetime. Nung medyo sana going smooth na ako xa isa at humingi ako ng sign na kung I'll take it to the next level, saka naman pumasok ang isa pa. Napatanong uli ako sa Kanya, yun na ba ang sign Lord? Na hindi muna dapat o sadyang panggulo lang? Kakaiba rin 'tong pumasok. Nagulat ako at hindi ko ma-explain. What should I do? Which brings us back to what my friend, Nes, said. Na c soulmate at c destiny dumating ng sabay pero hindi iisang tao. Ano ng gagawin mo?

Sagot ko? Haiii bat hindi ko na lang naisipang maging old maid? Tutal meron naman kaming lahi nyan. Na miss ko tuloy ang bestfriend kong c Superman xa New Jersey, malamang sasabihan nya na naman ako, "Sabi na sayo eh, basta single, mahal ang value pinagaagawan tulad ko." Hmmm... "in a relationship" na pla ang mokong na yun. Hanep naman. hehe.

So ayan, tatawanan ko na naman ang lahat ng to. Don't know what else to do fo now.

If only.

i need u in my lyf.

i wana grow old with u.

i wana settle down with u.

when i come back,

i will marry u.

promise.


did somebody ever tell u this? what will u say if somebody did? how would u react? *sigh*

Sore Eyes.

Anak ng weteng naman o! Kung saan pa malapit na magstart ang class dun pa ako minalas na magkaroon ng VIRUS, yuck haha. Pinagalitan yata ako ni Lord kse lagi na lang akong labas ng labas last week. Parang 4 days straight ata akong inumaga ng uwi xa bahay. (ooops my bad!) 3 days na lang, pasukan na. Hay salamat! hehe. At least hindi na ako bored dito. Hehe, ako lang ata ang excited pumasok, hindi naman kaya? haha.

But in fairness I accomplished one important thing last week. That thing was to renew my driver's license. But mine wasn't just an ordinary 30minutes renewal because I lost my DL, and it was already expired for how many years as well, xo they had to get a certification from their main office in Manila. And since it was expired for more than 2 years, I had to apply for another one. Haii.. I spent almost 1,500php for everything. Damn. (Thanks 'Te Rochelle for all your help. Hanapan lang kita ng boyfriend hehe)

Xo my dad is happy that I already accomplished that. He's been constantly reminding me to do it, but I was too lazy to go there coz everytime I pass by LTO, it's always full of people, I hate crowds. haha. Kaya ayun pinagalitan nya ako, xo talagang pinuntahan ko na tlaga. haha. Hinintay ko pa cyang magalit xa akin, whehehe lakas ng trip ko talaga noh! haha.

Baaaddd.

Paranoia is killing me. I've been somewhat in lala land lately and now I couldn't stop being freakin' paranoid about something. I came back hoping for a new revised life but I think I'm regressing again, and it has only been 2 months. I have to stop this madness or else I will risk losing everything I've earned back.

I'm not in a rush. I'm not in a hurry. What the hell am I doing?! Arrrrgggghhh.

I know nobody understands this post but I just want to air out my feelings. And the closest feeling to what I'm truly feeling right now is the word PARANOIA. Damn it. I don't want this anymore. Let it out of my system please!

What hurts...???

:: letting go of a person u've just learned to love

:: reminiscing the good times u shared together

:: shielding ur heart to love somebody

:: trying to hide what u really feel

:: trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from ur eyes

:: loving a person too much

:: giving up someone u never thought of giving up

:: having the right love at the wrong time

:: taking the risk to fall in love again

:: hiding ur relationship from someone else

:: controlling ur feelings to avoid hurting a friend

:: thinking of him every waking and sleeping moment knowing all the while that he never even thinks single thought of you...

:: letting go, because everytime you see the person, you only fall deeper

:: holding back only to find out when it's too late, you both felt the same way, but were only scared to lose each other so much that you didn't let the feelings out

:: falling inlove with someone you didnt mean to fall in love with

:: finding the perfect man...with only one prob....he doesnt love you...

:: helping the one you love court your friend

:: seeing the one you love crying for someone else

:: the waiting also hurts like hell

:: having to hear "I've met someone..."

:: agreeing to his wish to 'just be friends'.

:: asking his freedom back because 'he'd be happier with her'

:: asking u to 'forget that everything happened'and be 'normal' friends again.

:: hearing that you're treated as a little sister.

:: sharing his future plans for the girl with you.

:: u stopped being friends bcoz his girfriend asked him to.

:: being denied in front of people.

:: telling u lies about where he'd been when actually, he was with a 'new friend' or an 'old flame'!

:: telling u he's leaving u to return to his ex (d one he left 4 u!)

:: breaking someone's heart

:: fighting for that one thing that would make you happy

:: holding on to a person who cannot guarantee you his commitment until he has fixed himself...then, you are left hanging for the moment...then he says, time will tell...but you still decided to hope in him and trust him

:: PRETENDING you're OK when inside you're dying...

:: PRETENDING to be strong.... and RECOGNIZING your weakness

:: lying in bed each night, thinking of that special person you can never have..

:: being with someone you can't actually love...

:: pretending you don't love a person whom you actually love...

:: being in love...

:: letting go even if you really don't want to... having no right to say you are
hurting, because it was your decision...

:: seeing the person you love hurt because of you... and not being able to help that person...

:: having the courage to say I LOVE YOU to the person you love and finding out afterwards that things will never be the same again when he doesnt treat you with the same closeness as before

:: having to face the fact that someone is capable of completely destroying the wall that you have set for yourself, leaving you weak and vulnerable

:: admitting that you love someone despite his imperfections

:: finding out that the more you try to hate him, the more you end up loving him, perhaps even more than before...

:: realizing how stupid your mistakes were that led to your break-up.

:: the thought that this guy, used to really love you and you loved him as well but you didn't give enough and he gave up on you

:: Sharing the one you love with SOMEBODY else....."

:: making a promise....and realizing that when the time has come for that promise to be delivered....the commitment is no longer there...

:: the hardest thing about love - believing it exists.


After you've been hurt...

...learn to forgive

...learn to trust and love again

Grabe! After all those hurtful things said and done, dalawa lang ang katapat ng pagkarami-rami. "To forgive and To trust and love again." Hindi ba't unfair?

Hmmm.

My mom and I video chatted awhile ago. I missed her. I missed my family. She was concerned that my re-entry permit hasn't arrived yet. The only thing that did was the confirmation that the immigration has my papers already. My permit is my sure way of re-entering US again without hassle from immigration people. If it won't arrive in a month's time or so, I have to ask permission from the dean of the university I'm in right now to go back in the states for a week or so and then come back again.

Life as a dual resident alien...hard indeed. It's like living in 2 different worlds...2 different laws...but same person all around.

So I just finished eating corn bought from some vendor going around our subdivision, calling out "Bicho-bicho and mais." Since I've maxed out my expenses for this month, I'm just trying my best to stay at home most of the time to avoid bankruptcy of my limited allowance hehehe. Man, it's been raining during the afternoon here nowadays, sucks. I haven't even been to the beach. As Kathie would say, "walang ng beach for mOieee kse tag-ulan na" hehe.

Hmmm. Boring sa bahay. Sleep muna nga me.

Current Feeling: Listen to the song.

I think I'm fallin.......

Welcome back.

Sa waaaaakkkkkaaaaaassssss! I'm back to the blog-0-world. Wooh! Kala ko ba naman, eh walang wala na ako sa civilization. Salamat SmartBro! haha nagadvertise pa daw ba. Oo naman noh, I can survive without cable, but withOUT internet?!?!?! R u kiddin me...? Magpatayan na. haha.

Ang drama ko noh. Eto nagiingay lang dahil at least I have something to do in this boring world na. Pero.... boring pa rin. hahaha.

Anyway I have changed the pic layout, I took that flower shot when I went to the Flower Fields in Carlsbad Ranch, San Diego. It was my last tour of Cali for this year I think. Huhuhu I miss Cali badly. I miss my family dearly. It sucks being alone pla. Now I know.

Hey Hey... What Can I Say!

Tanong ni Moieee.

Kelan mo malalaman na right time na para sagutin ang isang taong nagcocourt sayo? Meron nga ba talagang right time eto? O sadya lamang na gigising ka lang isang araw at masasabi mong eto na ang araw na sasagutin mo na siya? And weird noh? Kala nyo madali lang sagutin ang tanong na to. Bisa sa mga napagtanungan ko, nalaman kong hindi pala madaling sagutin to. Karamihan sa kanila, nagisip ng pagkahaba-haba wala rin namang eksaktong sagot. Meron din namang nagsasabi ng 3months para daw legal, iba naman 6 months depende kung kakabreak lang ng isa sa kanila kasi baka daw hindi pa "over" ang nararamdaman nila sa "ex" nila. Ang iba naman depende na lang daw yun sa nararamdaman mo, eh bakit mo pa daw patatagalin kung wala na rin namang dapat patagalin pa, mas mabuti na daw yung you will get to know more of that person kung kayo na para makita mo daw kung talagang totoo ang mga pinapakita nya noong nanliligaw pa lang cya. At eto pa ang iba pala, hindi nila alam, sila na pla, parang "go with the flow" bigla na lang one day, isang araw, eh sila na, yung parang with matching gulat na "Ay, tayo na pla?" parang ganon daw..

Kakatuwa talaga ng mga sagot, ang iba may point ang iba naman, "say what?" hehe. Eh, sayo kaya, anong sagot mo?

Haii kapoy.

Im sorry I haven't been able to blog for quite a while due to a lot of reasons, but not worth mentioning anyway. Let's just keep it simple, I was busy.

Finals ended last Friday and I went to Cebu the day after to attend a rather unorganized reunion, but in fairness, it was nice seeing my classmates again after 15 yrs or so. Their faces haven't changed so much or maybe because I've seen them in Friendster that I wasn't surprised of how they look in person already.

Thanks to Joseph for taking the time to drive me around the city, back and forth. Free of charge. Thanks for making time eventhough I know you're very busy with work and life you still managed to squeeze me in your schedules. You made my stay in Cebu less lonely. Maraming salamat 'Tol. Thanks to Lence for not leaving me behind even though you have other friends to attend to, you never left me alone or let me be out of place. Hope you have a good school term there, goodluck sunshine! I also met nice set of acquaintances when I was there, and it's really nice to talk to people who don't know much about me coz I can be more open to them and can hear them speak their minds and give me advices without me being concerned of what they might think of me afterwards or what they might talk bout me behind my back. You know who you guys are 'the fab 4' (Lence, Gaye, Iya, Niko). Sometimes it's nicer that way, I feel more at ease. Walang taong mananapak, wala akong taong masasaktan at walang taong gagawa ng pekeng konklusyon kung anong klaseng tao ako.

Actually, the other reason why I decided to go there was because I just wanna get away, be alone and think about the past 2months that I've been living here in PI. It has been really really one heck of a very fast paced life I might say, and a lot has been going on and has happened since then. I thought it's going to be quite hard to adjust to school life again, but I was totally wrong, I've met wonderful friends whom I hang out with once in a while, at least we have almost the same stories to tell, school schedules and stuffs that it's easier for us to hang out when we like to. Unlike my girlfriends who are sooo busy with reviews and work nowadays that it's hard to invite them for even just a simple lunch or dinner. It was never used to be like it was before. Minsan gusto ko ng magtampo pero sympre hindi ako ganung klaseng tao, I'm not selfish maski they are all I have here in PI right now. I don't wanna pressure them also kasi pasaway na ang tawag sa mga taong ganon. At hindi ako ganyan. Pasaway lang ako sa ibang bagay pero dyan, nope I'm not like that. Isa lang masasabi ko tlaga, "Gawd, we're damn old!"

Shoutout to All Mothers

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL YOH MOTHERS OUT THERE!!!! Have a great day everyone! And to my MUM... I LOVE YOU!!! I MISS YOU and take care of yourself out there.

I'm missing my family sooooooooooooooo much!

Bored or Badtrip?

Nakakasuka. Nakakasukang mag-isa. Hirap pla talaga. Hindi pareho ng dati na isang tawag o text mo sa mga kaibigan, go lets kaagad sila. Ngayon, marami ng mga valid reasons, prior commitments at kung ano-ano pa. Batong-bato ako kagabi, gusto kong lumabas kaya lang hindi ko naman pwedeng dalhin ang sasakyan kasi baka malaman ng lola at hindi na naman siya makatulog ng maayos. Ayoko lang siyang bigyan ng iisipin pa. Eh kaya bored ako sobra. Ibang moieee to ngayon, nasa bahay on a Friday night mga pips! E-congrats nyo naman ako o.. haha. Para akong loka dito. La na ngang civilization sa bahay pati pa ba naman paglabas sa gabi eh wala rin. Haiii. Sarap bumalik sa cali, at least doon, kahit mag-isa lang ako, nakakapag ikot ako kahit saan, bahala na si batman. E dito, may dapat akong iconsider lagi. E bakit pa nga ba ako bumalik dito noh?

Hindi ko pa nga nasasabi sa bestbud ko na c superman na nagaaral na ako ngayon. Sigurado pagnalaman niyang matatagalan ako dito malulungkot yun. Meron na nga siyang kutob eh. Kasi uuwi siya dito sa Pinas (bakasyon) next week, eh gusto niya akong papuntahin doon sa Cebu. Taga Cebu kasi. Eh nauubusan na ako ng reasons na medyo alanganin ako. Sabi pa niya sagot niya ang pamasahe, pumunta lang daw ako doon. Gusto ko sanang tanggapin ang offer why not db, kaya lang pano naman class ko elloow. So next week pagdating niya dito sa Pinas, maguusap kami at sasabihin ko na sa kanya. Palagay ko tatawanan niya lang ako, kasi matagal ko ng nirereklamo sa kanya ang mga bagay tungkol sa mga kung ano-ano sa buhay ko... so sa wakas nakuha ko ng e-convince ang mga parents ko na pauwiin ako dito. Hindi nga lang sa course na gusto ko pero la na akong pakialam doon. We can't always get what we want anyway.

So ayun lang. Nagkwento lang ang lola nyo.

Princess.

The class was a drag as usual. Our teacher was having a reading recital rather than lecturing the lesson to us. When the class finally ended, sinamahan ako ng mga new found friends kong sina Nj & Ice papunta ng Fedex kasi meron akong papadalang documents to my p0pz tapos sabay na lang silang umuwi sa akin tutal on the way na rin naman ang mga bahay2x nila. After Fedex, we had a snack first just to pass the time and traffic. While we were eating, nagtext si Princess na isa pa naming new found friend na wala na daw siyang class so kung ok lang na hintayin daw namin siya para sabay2x na kami umuwi. When Princess got there a few minutes later, we decided to go home na. On our way home, sympre sakay ng aking vintage VW bug, bigla na lang sinabi ni Princess na 8 yrs younger sa akin, "Mga ate, inom tayo sige na!" Muntik na ko ng ma-steer ang wheels on a different direction sa gulat ko. Tinanong namin siya bakit naman biglaan..may problema ba siya. Wala naman siyang sinabi, but she insisted na samahan daw namin siyang uminom.

Huminto kami sa isang Starmart at doon kami tumambay. Isang bot plang ng Light eh wala pang 3 minuto ata ay ubos na nya. Napatingin kaming dalawa ni Nj, na kasing age ko, sa isa't-isa pero we just didn't make any comment yet. Sabi pa ni Princess, "Nauuhaw lang talaga daw siya, pasensya na." Nag-offer ako, kung gusto pa nya, sabi naman eh, "Sige Ate, ok libre mo?" So pumasok kami ng mart uli at pinabayaan ko lang siyang pumili ng gusto nya. Aba, kabayo ba naman ang kinuha, extra strong sabay sabi na tagay na lang daw naming apat. Nung bumalik na kami sa upuan, siya na ang unang naglagay sa baso since hindi pa naming tatlo ubos ang Light eh. Hindi namin namalayang half na pla ang laman ng kabayo na ila-ilang minuto pa lang naming binili! Sa isip2x ko, "Hindi na maganda ang kutob ko." So nung nagparestroom sina Princess at Ice, nagusap kami ni Nj, na uwi na kami kasi mukhang solve na si Princess. Nung bumalik sila galing restroom, parang nagwawala na si siya at bigla na lang tong nagconfess sa amin na nakainom na pla siya before siya pumasok ng klase namin kanina ng 2 kabayo. Tinanong namin kung sino ang kasama, sabi nya siya lang magisa.

Bigla na akong nagyaya umuwi, sabi ko, "Hahatid ko na kayo dahil mukhang uulan yata." Nagparestroom uli si Princess, this time ako na ang kasama. Halos hindi na nya maituwid ang lakad nya at bigla ba namang umupo sa sahig ng CR! Sabi ko marumi dyan at tinulungan kong tumayo ang bata. Sabi niya hindi daw siya lasing, masakit lang daw ulo niya. So ayun, hinawakan ko na siya paglabas namin ng CR at dumerecho na kami ng sasakyan. Halos hindi na makalakada ang lola, nabunggo pa sa windshield ko. Nung papaatras na kami, nagwild sabi hindi pa daw siya nakakapunta ng CR, binuksan niya ang passenger seat door so bigla akong napahinto, buti na lang asa parking lot pa kami. Napsigaw kaming tatlo ng wala sa oras ng, "Princess!" Paghinto ko lumabas siya at natumba gusto na atang humiga sa daan! Dali2x siya naming tinulungan ni Nj at pinasakay uli sa sasakyan. Ayaw niya pang umuwi sa bahay nila kasi pagagalitan siya ng mom niya pagnalamang nakainom siya at lasing. So dumerecho kami muna sa bahay ni Nj, pra doon magpalamig ng ulo at magbakasakaling magsubside ang alcohol level nya. Pero mas more na atang nagwild doon. Naging very restless at uncooperative si Princess. Hanggang sa napilitan kaming iuwi talaga siya sa bahay nila bahala na kung ano mang sabihin nya kasi gabi na at grabe ang buhos ng ulan. Basa na ako at lumulusob na sa baha.

Naabutan kami ng ilang oras paikot-ikot sa subdivision nila na hindi namin akalaing pagkalaki-laki pla. Hindi niya rin alam kung asan na ang bahay niya. Ayaw niya pang ituro kasi ang sa isip niya pagagalitan siya. So we made up a lie to her mom pra lang ma save siya from sermon. Nung ilang minuto pa rin at ayaw parin nya ituro ang bahay niya at mag 8pm na, I just completely snapped! Naubos na ang pasensya ko at lalong lalo pa at mahirap magdrive sa malakas na ulan. Napagalitan ko si Princess. At yun, tumino ng konti at naituro na rin nya sa wakas ang bahay niya.

Anyway, ang reason ng storya na to kung bakit siya nagkaganon? Kasi kinuha ng mom niya ang ATM niya kasi nahuli rin siyang lasing nung last Saturday. Merong nagsumbong sa nanay niya kaya ayun. Mayaman sina Princess, hindi ko akalaing meron siya side na ganon. It goes to show na pagspoiled brat ka, mahirap din pla ang sitwasyon. Kahit konting bagay lang, prang big deal na pra sa kanila. Ayun dahil lang pla sa ATM na may lamang big amts kaya siya nagkakaganon. Buti na lang hindi ako spoiled. Haaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiii.... what an experience. Buti na lang hindi ako lumaking ganon.